alochol

hi i wrote on the forum a while back about my husband wanting a muslim household after so many years of a western marriage some of you may remember.   while still stuck in limbo, things have got a little better and when my husband is back from saudi things have been really lovely, we love each other so much.   things however are coming again to a close cause we financially cant keep this going between the countries, my husbands says for him to come back and live a full life with us in the uk, the minimum requirement would be no alochol in the house, and no alochol if i was to go out for dinner with him, he says he is not taking my choice of freedom away and i am allowed to drink outside from him, is this a requirement for him from islam or is this his preference, coz he doesnt mind me going to a bar, but i much prefer to stay home and watch a nice movie with a glass of wine, will there be more things to follow he will not comitt and says we may come accross small other issues any advice on what maybe a very trival matter, but for me amongst friends and family it will socially isolacte us.

thanks for you reply... we dont eat pork and i am also careful looking at indegients when out .... i feel he is slowly stripping me of my freedom of choice and i feel i love him much more than he does me and he is emotionally blackmailing me and will not allow me to learn about lslam, a friend who came over to visit us recently said to me if i was muslim i would make a far better one than my husband and he is causing me to be put off my islam with all the rules ... however, i have in the last few days find out that he has joined a dating web site called arab, stating he has neve been married and is looking for a young muslim wife to start a new family (i thought he would need to tell me that he wanted to do this and give me a opportunity to divorce, i feel so sick and i just want to end all this pain,

Marie, I understand your circumstances are hard. I've been around my own share of Muslims who practice half the faith and leave things like honesty and decency aside in favor of not eating pork... that of course doesn't look good for the rest of us who try to apply Islam as a whole and be kind to everyone and respectful like our dear Prophet (s) was.

I can't give any advice, really, because I don't know you or him and I don't want to give you the wrong advice. But try, when you're making your decision, try to consider that one of the names of God is Truth, so honesty is very close to God.

Many people practice Islam, especially in the beginning, without all the rules. Then as faith increases you follow the rules naturally. I think forcing people to do things just leads to bitterness. Things like food, dress, prayers, Quran, manners are all important but are best done with a desire to make yourself pure to come closer to God in this world and the next.

Like I said, I don't really have any advice. Many men are not trustworthy, and Muslim men are unfortunately not an exception.

thanks pati for you for being so open with me, i think for me, i never thought he was this kind of person and always said if he wanted some else he would tell me... i feel that my whole life with him has been a lie and how many others times has he been deceitful, but i believe god is my witness and i have done everything to love him without loosing myself ... i now fear our difference are too far apart i am nothing like the person he really wants to be with and i have lost all trust in him,  i dont think he is a good muslim man cause i dont believe he is allowed to say and do all this deceitful things to me and the children and cause of the lack of knowledge from me he makes the rules of islam for his-self, i will pray to be strong and for him to be at peace for hiself, manythanks.  DOES ANYONE KNOW IF THERE IS IMAN ON THIS WEB SITE WHO WILL APPRECIATE THE WESTERN WOMEN VIEWS, BEFORE I MAKE MY FINAL DECISION.