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I am Worried. - this story is Long
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zMisbahz View Drop Down
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    Posted: 30 April 2014 at 9:49am
Salam

Edited by zMisbahz - 11 April 2015 at 6:49pm
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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You sound resentful, however keep in mind that you decided to marry her. Although I think altruism is misplaced when it comes to marriage, i.e., people should have what pleases them, and not marry thinking you're doing the other person a "favor", because regret and resentment often will follow. Many times sexual tension is confused for love and compatibility, thus blinding us from looking carefully at who we are about to make one of the most important decisions of our lives - marriage. Now that you are in this relationship you must be patient and look to her good qualities and downplay, lookover, and forgive matters that do not please you. Keep in mind that she is an individual like you and has her own passions, likes and dislikes in life. Simply because you enjoy reading and sports doesn't mean she will or should. Hang in there and make it work. Women are not a commodity to purchase and later decide I want to return her and get another. Don't be hasty. Many of your complaints will Insha'Allah get better with time and mature communications - don't browbeat or harass her about petty matters. Take it easy on yourself and just enjoy her for the much good she undoubtedly possess. She is now your wife and deserves kindness and patience.
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zMisbahz View Drop Down
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Well said. Thanks for the input, truly appreciate it.
ps: kindly note, I do not force my ideas or ways on her but merely try to encourage her to seek whatever will benefit her & improve her as a person (same thing applies to me). By the way she Loves watching & playing BasketBall. Thanks a lot Abuayisha

Edited by zMisbahz - 01 May 2014 at 11:15am
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Abu Loren View Drop Down
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Look man I'm gonna give it to you straight either take it or leave it.
 
When you married her you weren't 100% sure about her, then you thought you would give her a chance. But now that you are married she is a disappoint for you, she is not the ideal wife that you had in your mind (the perfect wife, as it were).
 
Now ask yourself this question and be serious about it.
 
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a woman who is a disappointment? Or do you want to divorce her and say you were wrong in the first place to marry her?
 
Divorce is a Mercy from Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala to the believers so that one does not have to suffer in silence.
 
What's happened  has happened. Every body makes mistakes and the important thing is to learn from it and move on.
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zMisbahz View Drop Down
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Salam,
Abu Loren. I appreciate your honesty & straight forwardness as it's the best policy. There has been a lot going on in my mind & it does take its toll time after time. I see your point and hopefully I will be able to make a clear decision about this situation. Thanks.
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abuali View Drop Down
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Indeed divorce is a dislike act in the eye of Allah which mean as much possible we should avoid it.
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Abu Loren View Drop Down
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Originally posted by abuali abuali wrote:

Indeed divorce is a dislike act in the eye of Allah which mean as much possible we should avoid it.


Where does it say that?
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abuali View Drop Down
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Originally posted by Abu Loren Abu Loren wrote:

Originally posted by abuali abuali wrote:

Indeed divorce is a dislike act in the eye of Allah which mean as much possible we should avoid it.


Where does it say that?


In Hadith i found a reference for you.
It is reported that the Prophet Muhammad said,
�The most hated Halal by Allah is divorce.�
for reference http://www.seekingilm.com/archives/311
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