Recommendation before divorce

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I come to this forum in order to ask you for your opinion/suggestions and recommendations before to apply for divorce.

I have been married 7 years. My husband and I are both converted Muslims and we have been struggling in our marriage only 1 year after the birth of our first child due to his lack of care toward me.
My husband without any explanation became distant, silent and cutting off communication between us only few months after our first child was born. I should say that before i married him, several people warned me about his mental instability. But I did not realize that something was wrong with him. NOw I became after going from frustration of not been loved a very angry person and when i talk to him i cannot even feel peace. I tried during almost 5 years to understand him, to know what was wrong with me, to ask him what the issues were, to buy books to help our marriage, to pray, to invite him to counselor and in all of that the only progress i could see is my husband was more and more distant. We are at the point that we are husband and wife only on paper. He will not communicate with me and live his life between his work, friends and also what i call flirts. I found my husband involved in several online chatting discussions with females and with a language of discussion which is not appropriate.
My husband goes to the disco and cannot just enjoy the music but need also to try to get connected with women and start again his online and flirting activities. He also told me that i should do the same if i am not feeling loved. Simply he doesn't love me and doesn't want to do anything about solving our problems. he is denying and live as if it was me asking for too much. Now I am seen as a yelling person who disturb him as soon as i start to speak about our issues. I have also reached the point where i do not love my husband anymore and think about finding a man who at least can honor a woman if he decides to be with her. I am therefore strongly thinking about getting a divorce. The only problem i am facing is my husband doesn't want to divorce and he prefers if we live separate life but to stay married on paper. I told him that I am a Muslim and I have chosen this belief because i like its principles as a way of life. I also told him that if he realizes that Islam is not for him and he wants to pursue a life style of deviance (because for me asking your wife to go to another man and stay married on paper is deviance especially when flirt is involved) to go for it but in no way I am going to accept such things.
I still love my husband but his rejection toward me, his lack of love and attention are really killing me. I would love to be divorced and rebuild a life with someone who is a responsible husband and loving to his wife.
I would like to get your opinion on what you think is the best direction to take.

thanks a lot,
Samira

Wa Alaykoum Salam Iman283,

thank you for your reply. You have been the only one answering me
I will contact an imam.
Now, I think I should divorce my husband. He is now strongly targeting Islam, spreading all kinds of emails around to show that Islam is a bad religion mainly because he has problems with me. He is encouraging all kind of deviant lifestyles and when we discuss about conditions for the divorce when he states that he agrees to a divorce, he will then say that it is not what he wants. in one day he has said several times he wants a divorce and when i consider it as well he will act as if it is not what he asked. the yo-yo effect just keep going.He has also made it clear that he doesn't want to follow Islam. so i think it is pretty clear for me what to do.
Thank you again,
Samira