debt

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   what should i do if my fiance's mom fails to repay my parents the money she owes, because she claims she does not have any money, even though she is working and has travelled outside the country 2 times after this. My fiance feels bad but not as bad as me, because the pressure is on me from my family.I am startimng to dislike her due to this issue becasue she is not making any attempt. Should this affect my relationship with my fiance.

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zainaaa_123 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 20 February 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote zainaaa_123 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: debt Posted: 20 February 2006 at 3:00pm
	what should i do if my fiance's mom fails to repay my parents the money she owes, because she claims she does not have any money, even though she is working and has travelled outside the country 2 times after this. My fiance feels bad but not as bad as me, because the pressure is on me from my family.I am startimng to dislike her due to this issue becasue she is not making any attempt. Should this affect my relationship with my fiance.

zainaaa_123 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 20 February 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote zainaaa_123 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20 February 2006 at 3:06pm
	take it easy

abuayisha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105	Post Options Post Reply Quote abuayisha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20 February 2006 at 4:46pm
	Could it not be a simple issue of communications? Ask her to make payments, and don't expect that she will do it on her own. Maybe she feels that you folks can wait for payment and there is no rush. Was there a contractual agreement?

zainaaa_123 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 20 February 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote zainaaa_123 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20 February 2006 at 6:03pm
	Thanks for replying, she has been reminded so many times.

Angel Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 03 July 2001 Status: Offline Points: 6641	Post Options Post Reply Quote Angel Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20 February 2006 at 6:12pm
	If she is not going to repay, perhaps don't lend her any more money. Perhaps you can pay your family instead and then get your fiance's mom to pay you instead installments of what she can pay back, at least that way the pressure is off from your own family.
	~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~

firewall3 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 09 February 2006 Location: Malaysia Status: Offline Points: 53	Post Options Post Reply Quote firewall3 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 March 2006 at 4:42am
	debts must be paid. i was taught that if we die without paying debts, it's simply unthinkable. in ur case, i think if she did borrow -- it is her duty to pay back her debts. it's a sin not too. still, if she really doesn't have any money at all to repay, maybe... it's best if the lender waive it or make it easy for her. isn't it great to help her? you'll get blessings from Allah. maybe you can ask her pay in installments? anyway you all are going to be families, i hope you can work it out the best way. God bless.

Alwardah Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 25 March 2005 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 980	Post Options Post Reply Quote Alwardah Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 March 2006 at 6:51am
	As Salamu Alaikum My father's principle: "If you value someone's friendship, don't lend them money."
	�Verily your Lord is quick in punishment; yet He is indeed Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful (Surah Al-An�am 6:165) "Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him is our return" (Surah Baqarah 2: 155)

herjihad Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2473	Post Options Post Reply Quote herjihad Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 March 2006 at 12:44pm
	*Bismillah,* *Dear Sister Zainaa,* *Did your fiance encourage you to loan the money to her? If so, he is culpable in her lack of repayment, and should begin to make the payments to you, which you need to write down.* If not, it was your decision, yes. But your fiance needs to also take responsibility unless he discouraged you from loaning her the money. If he was against it, and it was just between the two of you, did you make a written agreement? Probably not. Try to get her to sign a written aggreement now that she owes the money to you, and a time frame you both agree on to pay it back. If she won't sign it and says something like: Don't you trust me, tell her it IS the Islaamic way to deal with money and property such as this, that you wanted to fix things Islaamically in order to please Allah, SWT. Loans are a great way to help people, but we should realize the reality of a situation when we make a loan. Will this person really be able to pay it back? What if they were counting on a payment to them or a new job that they never get? If the people didn't mean to steal your money and are just poor and really not able to repay you, it is better to let it go and say that it is a charity from you to them. In your situation, she is spending plenty of money to travel, so I would say she is one of those people who has considered it charity without your permission, and you should try to get your money back. Don't loan money that you can't afford to lose especially if you don't sign a contract. Life has hard lessons to learn. ISA the other lessons will be easier for you than they have been for me! I got burned badly by someone who promised to take care of financial matters. It hurts when someone close to you doesn't prioritize promises to you, but remembers other people or things instead.
	Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.