Mistreated By FIL

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   Salaams...

I am a young sister 23 years of age who just got married recently.. it has been a month alhamdulillah.  Allah has blessed me with a lovely and hard working husband who supports me 100% . I am a Gujarati girl who was taught only English so i know very little Gujarati.. i can understand but don't speak much. Unfortunately my inlaws only speak Gujarati. My mother in law is very loving and kind to me. At the moment i am staying with my parents because my inlaws have no room and my husband approved as our house will be ready soon. I go to my inlaws almost everyday and when i do i help my mother inlaws as much as i can. I am a quiet girl so I don't talk much especially because I don't know how to communicate with them.. i feel like my father inlaw hates me because every time i sit to eat or i am sitting with my husband he tuts at me or he says in Gujarati "she's come to eat again" i feel very unwelcome and unwanted in their home.. I don't know what to do and the thing is he is very stubborn aa he is set in his cultural ways. When I don't go then he fights with my husband saying why didn't she come and then when i do go that's the treatment i get.. im very upset by it and I don't know what to do.. he treats my husband badly as well compared to his other siblings even tho he's the only hard working one out of the siblings. Anyone have any advice?

Jazakallah 

Edited by Shabaana01 - 22 May 2017 at 6:17am

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Shabaana01 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 17 May 2017 Status: Offline Points: 1	Post Options Post Reply Quote Shabaana01 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Mistreated By FIL Posted: 17 May 2017 at 4:22pm
	Salaams... I am a young sister 23 years of age who just got married recently.. it has been a month alhamdulillah. Allah has blessed me with a lovely and hard working husband who supports me 100% . I am a Gujarati girl who was taught only English so i know very little Gujarati.. i can understand but don't speak much. Unfortunately my inlaws only speak Gujarati. My mother in law is very loving and kind to me. At the moment i am staying with my parents because my inlaws have no room and my husband approved as our house will be ready soon. I go to my inlaws almost everyday and when i do i help my mother inlaws as much as i can. I am a quiet girl so I don't talk much especially because I don't know how to communicate with them.. i feel like my father inlaw hates me because every time i sit to eat or i am sitting with my husband he tuts at me or he says in Gujarati "she's come to eat again" i feel very unwelcome and unwanted in their home.. I don't know what to do and the thing is he is very stubborn aa he is set in his cultural ways. When I don't go then he fights with my husband saying why didn't she come and then when i do go that's the treatment i get.. im very upset by it and I don't know what to do.. he treats my husband badly as well compared to his other siblings even tho he's the only hard working one out of the siblings. Anyone have any advice? Jazakallah Edited by Shabaana01 - 22 May 2017 at 6:17am

Dr. Aslam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Admin Group Male Islam Joined: 24 February 2018 Location: California, USA Status: Offline Points: 279	Post Options Post Reply Quote Dr. Aslam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09 March 2018 at 7:57am
	Salam Alaikum, I am sure your husband must be aware of this situation. I am also sure that your mother in law is also an observant of this situation. I am also sure that you are respectful to him. the next you go, take some gift for him. I know it hurts to see all this, but its better not to directly interfere between the family affairs of your father in law. Keep us informed of any development.
	Best Regards, Aslam Abdullah

Tim the plumber Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Joined: 30 September 2014 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 944	Post Options Post Reply Quote Tim the plumber Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09 March 2018 at 10:02am
	I recomend; https://www.amazon.co.uk/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Reclaiming-Paperback/dp/B00M0DB3ZG/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1520618327&sr=1-3&keywords=toxic+parents Your husband has had this disfunctional treatment throughout his life. He is conditioned to accept it. It is extremely hard for him to escape the situation. You can be the best thing that has ever happened to him. If you read the book above you will get the idea of where his head is and how strong he has been even to be able to make his life with you especially the moving out to a new house where his farther will be unable to dominate him.