marriage crisis!!!! sisters help pls

He works 12 hours during the week comes home and wants to only watch tv ignores me and then blames me.
on the weekends he has his kids from the previous marriage, which i take care of, take out, feed when he is asleep. so there really is never any time for me.
when i ask to go out it takes about 4 weeks to beg him to give me any attention and plan anything for me so i have to plan and drag him along when he comes he acts like he doesnt even wanna be there.
his ex wife steps over boundries, rings him in the morning in the afternoon and in the evening. Asks him to ‘go shopping together’ , rings his work asks where he is, texts him all the time for petty favours which can be solved in other ways but claims there is no way and its for the kids and he doesn’t question he just does it. Can clearly see im being affected but he doesn’t care. Hangs up the phone on me when he is alone with her in the car and with kids that are not grown ups and are not conscious. whereas he answerer calls in my face when he wants
from her. and chooses when not to . deletes messages from her and hides stuff, and claims its because i will get negative does the same with random women on snapchat, and disguise it as his friends name and when confronted lies to me and after tells the truth that he had sexual thoughts of bending her over the desk, later i find out she actually attends his business eveyday. feels the need of responsibility towards his ex and the kids but not to me. Never plans future plans with me at the back of his head i just have to ‘get used to’ and beg time in whatever he does and find my space somewhere inbetween then tells me stop attention seeking i have done so much for this man and he treats me worse than a friend. He is addicted to pornography, gets horny over music videos and movies, looks at girls when im with him, at his work place gets involved in non mahram conversations which leads to flirting when confronted tells me ‘i will flirt for the needs of the business so what’ ‘i will never change im disgusting you deal with it or leave’ . elongates
- [ ] conversations with his ex wife , softens his voice, goes past the limits of what is necessary and allows her to do it also with no mention and im the bad one for speaking out. leaves me on eid when his kids are not involved as he doesn’t feel the need to celebrate if his kids are not with him. doesn’t complement me, only acts like a good husband infront of his family. when im Ill and call him to say i feel like im gonna die at 3am and request to stay on the phone to him he hangs up and says, im coming wait. doesnt come i have to end up calling the ambulance takes him 40 minutes to come as he wanted to roll a spliff, bearing in mind he was 10 minutes away. after tells me theres nothing wrong with you, fix up, shouts at me and gets aggressive when confronted, tells me there is always something wrong with you, only comes to cuddle me before sex and thats it after he gets up or goes on his phone. ignores me when i speak to him, doesn’t listen to me only expects but doesnt give. When im hurt he doesnt comfort me he puts more worries to my situation by being distant cold and even sometimes angry at the fact that im upset. When people make him angry he takes it out on me when i say one bad word. but i stick through it as i know he will need comfort later. i have been advised by sisters that the fact that he has kids with her doesnt justify anything and he and she are crossing way too many boundries and i have the right to pick up the phone when she rings and say if she wants something from him she has to request it through me however she is too bitter, which clearly shows other motives hidden behind as if it was for the kids she wouldnt think twice but agree but it clearly isnt, its a form of possession and ill mannered will for power. sisters have advised to make sure he doesnt spend time in seclusin with her seclusion also includeshis children being there as they havent reached the level of maturity. it is not allowed for them to speak about anything other than kids and they do unfortunately, he softens his voice when he speaks to her and so does she he’s even calmer with her when she makes mistakes than me, when she does something wrong to their child or one of her family members he blows it like it never happened and says its serious. but when i raise my voice at a child, or do something petty that wasnt even true and something that the child has lied to her about its a big deal and he doesnt settle her and defend me he believes it, and confronts me about it which is a form of the worst disrespect. this is haram and sinful as she is a non mahram a random woman speaking ill of his wife and him not defending and ending it there and then its haram and sinful even though i have the right to do as i wish as a stepparent as long as im not harming the child and i overlook what the children say to me as im aware their kids , he knows what he’s doing is past the limits and shes trying to mark a teritory thats no longer hers. she tried to approach me several times and even once came to my face at my place of work and infront of my collegues started shouting at me at which i walked away for the respect of my husband and his kids. which after she lied saying i was the one being ill mannered and rude and once again he came up to me and told me ‘but thats not what she said she said this....’ for a non mahrams to believe and act like this its not fair for him to even believe an atom of what she says. she has sent her friends to the shop to spy on me, as my husband never made it clear for 2 years that we was together and said ‘shes one of my angels at my work place’ and also ‘she just helps me with my uni work’ therefore she doesnt know her boundries. she has approached his mother and said is there any chance of getting back together his mum said no. after she continued phonecalls messages, and asked to go on holiday with his family as well as attend a wedding 1.5 years after their divorce. sisters have advised that it is the man who doesnt want to set boundries for whatever reason. when he does she will not step over but when she does he allows her to and i need to find out why?. i get worried as he got wi me in the first place while going through divorce, and needing to fill the empty space in his heart, he told me he only wanted sex but then realised im worth more. now that the honey moon period has past i wonder does he really love or is he going to leave me for bigger better when his situation improves and he no longer needs me. And when we’re in a bad position someone else might come in and comfort him like i did 4 years ago i need sincere help cause i feel like im shutting down. sisters have advices that its my fault for letting her do this as i didn’t confront her but to me it is childish and the lowest form of solution and if i have to do that i rather not be in a relationship with a man that cant settle a stranger woman, sisters have advices that men cant see through women’s ill mannered manipulations, and he will feel guilty for what he has done and that he doesnt support them and its her who forces him to feel like this thats why he is allowing it and automatically see’s me as the demon when i speak out, she made him feel like that against me. Her words of ‘i dont care if you’re with her i only care about my kids’ help him get by and make him feel like she is grown up and over it but thats just words and men should know words have no meaning. it is all a front. it cathes up to me when it comes to being a good wife and i hate it i used to cook food at my mums house learn how to cook just for him without him knowing i used to do excercise to please him cause im a lazy individual, i wanna do alot of things in my head for him but when i wanna execute it it makes me feel is it really worth it ? this is the love of my life my feelings have never changed but he’s pushing me away and draining me and i dont know what to do. i always clean to my abilities but it is never enough i can never do anything rifhtt and im the bad one for not tolerating behaviour he wouldnt tolerate and his excuse is im a man and you’re a woman but his wil power and self control is alot weaker than mine which worries me