Marital problems

Asalamu 3aleikum, my husband of 8 years has recently lost his job leading him to not have drive for anything anymore.. he goes from being worried I’m going to leave him to hit caring and saying to me “I want a divorce” when arguments happen about his work ethic or ills and rent! He also has always been verbally abusive and has always pt me down with his words ... in this situation I get a bipolar attitude from him and the verbal abuse comes out all over again! I have a issue with myself... I tend to chase after him even tho he’s definetly in the wrong and I can’t relax or just sit still cuz of my worries I have also lately been wanting to leave him or have wonder in my head how my life would have been with someone else I even at times just want to find someone else! Please help me cope with this situation I need guidance and I need an idea on how I can become more independent and not need him financially.. I have 3 kids one who is a 6 month old and I nurse so for me to work it seems impossible! I vowed to myself once I can work and stand up on my two feet I will leave him! He has brought so much hate out of me towards him I can’t even sleep in the same room as him anymore!