For Mustafaa (True outlook on Women)

As'Salaamu Alaikum and God's blessings Mustafaa,

I was troubled when I last read your post regarding the "anti-girl thread." I was also troubled that certain women would respond to it seeing that this is a "men's forum" but anyway I would like to share with you my understanding. First and foremost we men know nothing aboutb "all women." Of course we share similar negative or positive experiences when we engage in a relationship with a woman.

There are many types of women who have similarities which we experience while engaging in a relationship with them. I can say for myself that I probably have more reason to dislike most women in the sense of generalizing them, but I choose not to, why? Well for one thing my mannerism and my code of honor and conduct came from a woman. My mother. I remember times when my mother have told me that if I were to die she would gladly end her life. Of course this seems quite extreme that a mother would do this especially if a tragic event happened to her child. But the point is, is that a good woman is not one who takes life for granted nor takes a good man for granted.

Mustafaa I have seen my mother meet men off the street, complete nobodies and have turned them into honorable human beings in American society. Of course in the end they mistreated her and even one tried to physically abuse her. Of course Subhan'allah God came to my mothers aid and have since, repaid them in what they did to her. My mother never married a good man and died a single woman. Shje never knew what it felt like to have a man say "I love you" and felt confident he meant it. She never knew a man who would write poetry to her or sing to her and praise her in the ways she shoul;d be praised. But in that dark event in her marriages to unworthy men she had hope. Her faith in God kept her going and made her even strong. But Mustafaa the one thing that impresses me most of all is that she never gave up on men.

When we experience hard times its quite easy to generalize the whole group and get angry and write off the rest. I understand this now because I started to do this myself. While I mention this there was a time when I was in love and I wanted to marry this beautiful Muslimah of Egyptian decent. Unfortunately, she lied and one day told me over the phone while coming from work tired, and sleepy that she was planning a marriage with another man while she was with me. Now mind you and MUSLIMAH! a so-called follower of the deen of Islam.

Of course she justifies this because of her culture in saying that Arabs are not meant to be with African-Americans, so if you haven't notice I tend to stress the culture issue very much because it shouldn't be an issue in Islam, but that is for another forum. Mustafaa I believe that I above all others feel how you feel because I run into the same problem. When I meet Muslimah's there is always the issue about whether I'm financially secure and though this is logical according to Islamic principle, the inquiries about my finanacial security wasn't whether I could support a wife but whether I had status, which isn't apart of the principles of Islam. My status is with my good deeds and my love is for Allah.

I do not want this to be about me Mustafaa but my point is to show you that like my mother God has indeed sprinkled the world with good women and rightous ones at that, ity is just that because the world is so corrupted by Satan's temptation people have since became more into themselves and not with righteousness. Mustafaa I have to disagree with most people when they say "be interested in regular girls" or "do not meet immature girls" the fact is we do not know our mutual equalk until we engage in activities that allow us to obtain such knowledge. My adivce is to keep being yourself, never lower your standards and be aware of who you meet and keep an eye out for "red flags" meaning, those with baggage or pre-conceive notions about who they would like to meet.

Also, another thing I have to say is that I do agree on the individual who says to not date so-called beautiful girls. If you do meet a highly physically attractive girl I suggest in knowing her first. My mother used to say everything that "roses have their thorns to." There is nothing wrong with meeting a person and introducing yourself and getting to know them but know them first before you hypnotize yourself with their beauty. Trust me not all beautiful women are righteous. Perhaps this is not your time bro Allah subhana wa' ta' alaa has plans for all of us and Insha'allah he will guide you to the right path.