How to NOT categorize women

Salaam,

I made this post specifically for Crass but anyone can join. I'm not trying to maliciously single Crass out in anyway but I noticed the style of writing he has is very different than most of the members of the forum. I'm intrigued in how a woman, well, a western woman, can be a "fornicatrous" person just because of her nationality, which is, either being American or European. Allow me shed some light on the subject.

First let me say that in some instances there is nothing wrong with categorizing things I mean, we do it naturally. I believe the thalamus controls the function of categorizing objects and organizing them into comprehensible forms and patterns. Now of course we need this to help us survive in the world and understand our environement. From a sociological perspective we need to categorize people in order to know the different classes of people [such as different ethnic groups etc] so that our interaction with them is appropriate. However we come to a point where we overanalyze people by categorizing them in inappropriate classes of people such as calling "all western women" promiscuous.

We must understand that extramartial affairs, promiscuity, exhibitionism and all the like are in almost every part of civilized societies. By civilized I mean nations which have established governments [or some form of government] this includes third world nations. One cannot even categorize all women into one category as there is no one person to fit exactly one or more of the same category. People are people and everyone is different with their different modes and behavior. Regardless whether one has the negative experience in a country's people or a good experience, still, everyone is different.

I've met many women in the States who are hard working, very religious, and righteous [at least in my eyes] people. I've met some righteous women here who are kind hearted and God oriented. The difference between them and us is some of them share a different religion than us. But we cannot justify our biases by categorizing them just because they are from a different country. There is no poll or statistics on the earth that supports the categorization of a group of people simply because of the behavior of a few. One cannot poll a billion people and come to the conclusion that all one billion of those people have the same behavior. It's ridiculous. We are different just like the different line patterns on our palms.

The key thing you said sister Hafya was "it is easy to lump people together." People with prejudices [and everyone of us has them] categorize things because of our own experiences. The example you gave me [with the Muslim women categorizing Pakistani women] was a similar situation I myself run into. For instance I recently had a conversation with a Latino gentleman. Our conversation went well. When we discussed our favorite genre of music he asked me "do you like rap?" I asked him what makes you think I like rap? With reluctance he said, "Well, don't black people like rap?"

As you can see obviously from his experience [BTW which stems from media projections] had the assumption that all blacks listen to rap. By the way my favorite genre of music is Jazz, then opera, then classical, then rap [R&B]. Even people try to categorize a group through subtle language such as saying "a lot" and by emphasizing a lot they really mean say everyone. For example, a person may say "A lot of Pakistani women do X, because that is what they do." I don't mean to get technical here but let me support what I just said. From the previous premise "A lot of Pakistani women do X" can be said to be an assumption because it is a general statement. Then, it is thus supported by the second part with "because that is what they do." So unfortunately it is not just the experiences that may lead to incorrect categorization but following this, is our language.

Women much like any human on this planet are individuals no matter what country they reside from. It is just unfortunate that humans such as some men, would use what they see either on television or from experience as the core thing to generalize all women.

Crasss,

I believe you are wrong, there are many women who want to return to traditional values.  Women are fighting against abortion, women are fighting for more wholesome entertainment.  Women are fighting spousal abuse and pornography. 

Western women are one of the fastest growing groups converting to Islam.  Women are trying to focus on their families in a world that just invents new ways to pull them away. 

In my own state, popular clothing goes below the knees, covers the shoulders and does not show cleavage.  Girls are encouraged to get educations, marry in the temple (something you can't do if you're having premarital sex) and raise families.  Boys are encouarged to serve the Lord for 2 years on a religious mission and marry soon after returning.  Focus is on chasity, modesty and clean living.  We do not drink and do not smoke. 

Our church has grown from 3 million in 1980 to almost 13 million today. 

If western women were so impure, why would they be turning to faiths like Islam and Mormonism????

Do you think that women like the images of scantily clad women who are emaciated gracing TV?  No.  Women in this country have to fight harder to teach their kids to rise above the media perceptions of what is right and wrong.  But that doesn't mean they aren't fighting.

I really blame alot of our troubles on the rich and on men.  If men were more faithful, there wouldn't be so much spousal abuse, child abuse and broken homes. 

Its easy to blame the woman.  But who is paying for the pornography and strip clubs?  Who is creating the atmosphere?  If the daughter was abused by her father and then kicked out at 18 with no money.  Who is it that is to blame if she turns to prostitution to survive?  She should have been protected and cared for by the men in her family.  Or should she turn to another man and marry quickly to escape, who is to blame when she shows up at the hospital with broken bones?

I get upset when men blame the women for all the ills.  Most prostitutes started life out with the world against them.  Abusive families, parents with addictions.  A girl from a good home doesn't turn to these things.

I've worked for domestic violence shelter and for a home for children who were victims of abuse.  These problems are cross cultural and without boundaries.

With state-run television, the problems aren't talked about openly in other areas.  Its not that the US is necessarily worse, its just more open about our problems.  If they didn't occur in Middle Eastern or Asian nations.  You wouldn't hear about stonings, hangings and beatings for immorality. 

The tight lipped approach doesn't eradicate these issues, it just drives them underground.

There is no difference in the pitiful plight of a western woman with an education being mistreated by society and a woman forbidden to get an education who can't make better of her life in a society that doesn't practice what it preaches.