Facebook Advise Please

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   My husband has a facebook page and I went snooping. I know it is wrong to snoop; but, I just didn't understand why he kept it secret from me. I found out on accident. He had asked me to check his email and I saw some messages from facebook.

 I figured out his password for his facebook account and went looking. I found out that he is using this account to talk to a girl he went to college with. She is another Muslim girl and lives across the country from us. However, I am really uncomfortable with it. When I confronted him with it, he told me that he just says hi to her...and that he is wanting to introduce her to his nephew. When I asked him old she was he told me that she was 22, which means they could not have gone to college together since he is 32!

 He got angry when I started asking him questions, so I stopped asking. I went into another room and started snooping more. This is driving me crazy! I even googled this girl. I went as far as changing his marital status on his facebook page from single to married. 

We have been married for 5 years. I just don't understand. He and this girl became acquainted on facebook earlier this month. Now he is going out of town for 3 weeks. He is going overseas to see his family.  He is leaving in just a few days. I don't want to be arguing before he leaves; but, I feel like I need to talk about this. 

I need some advise on what to do. 

Edited by sarah2008 - 12 February 2009 at 10:35pm

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sarah2008 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 23 September 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 6	Post Options Post Reply Quote sarah2008 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Facebook Advise Please Posted: 12 February 2009 at 10:20pm
	My husband has a facebook page and I went snooping. I know it is wrong to snoop; but, I just didn't understand why he kept it secret from me. I found out on accident. He had asked me to check his email and I saw some messages from facebook. I figured out his password for his facebook account and went looking. I found out that he is using this account to talk to a girl he went to college with. She is another Muslim girl and lives across the country from us. However, I am really uncomfortable with it. When I confronted him with it, he told me that he just says hi to her...and that he is wanting to introduce her to his nephew. When I asked him old she was he told me that she was 22, which means they could not have gone to college together since he is 32! He got angry when I started asking him questions, so I stopped asking. I went into another room and started snooping more. This is driving me crazy! I even googled this girl. I went as far as changing his marital status on his facebook page from single to married. We have been married for 5 years. I just don't understand. He and this girl became acquainted on facebook earlier this month. Now he is going out of town for 3 weeks. He is going overseas to see his family. He is leaving in just a few days. I don't want to be arguing before he leaves; but, I feel like I need to talk about this. I need some advise on what to do. Edited by sarah2008 - 12 February 2009 at 10:35pm

Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 February 2009 at 11:10am
	Salaams Sarah It really depends upon you and what you want. I think you need to think about and then discuss it with him.. 1. he should not have this type of relationship with a woman. It may not be fitna but can lead to fitna. 2. He is 32, tell him he needs to decide what his life is about. This is not healthy for either of you as a married couple.hose are the two options. (Of course you ca nstay or go but that is a different question.) 3. He needs to think about this when he is away. Really think. You need a good Muslim husband. Not a boy. You understand people make mistakes. And we all do. And we need to correct them. I would calmly talk to him. We ultimately cannot change peoples' behavior. If he does not change then you will need to decide what to do after that. Frankly, if he cannot be a man and grow up.well.. so be it. People do foolish things. BE calm and strong. If are a 'doormat' and put up with anything well you'll get 'everything.' You need a good Muslim husband. Its his choice. Tell him to think about it and decide.. what does he want in this life.. And pray my sister. My Duas are with you. Hayfa
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

zahreen Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 23 January 2009 Location: Mauritius Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote zahreen Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 February 2009 at 8:24am
	Assalam Sarah, I know it s not easy at all to see ur husband talking to another girl secretly.. He kept it a secret because he also know somehow it is wrong what he is doing.. By the mails and messages you should know whether its a friendly chat or else.. My advice you should talk to him nicely and calmly, firstly you must find out WHY the need of a girl as friend on facebook.. why he is doing it? you should not just go and fight, this will be a big error cause instead of making you two closer to talk about the problem you will make him go away and not want to discuss about it.. you know there is always a why in everything that we do.. find it n look for a solution altogether with the help of Allah swt. You know dear sister, satan like these kind of situations where people are unhappy, where there is problem in couples.. dont let satan win sis.. Make duahs always whether in good or bad time. Allah swt will always help you when you are right and in the right path.. Insha Allah everything will be find and that you will get peace and tranquility with that issue soon Ameen Edited by zahreen - 17 February 2009 at 8:25am