polygamy.........????????

as'salam alaykum wara7matu Allah wa barakatuh...

Sister Iman....Polygyny is a reality that many muslimahs face, some willingly, some may need more religious, understanding and encouragment, no matter what the initial reaction, living in polygamy requires tawakul on Allah [swt] and much sabr. You need to hear suggestions and positive thoughts from other women on how to have success with this aspect of our deen.

Make more supplication to Allah [swt] to give you strength and comfort your heart; ask Allah [swt] for confidence in yourself and in your relationship; Count the blessings in your life, including all the blessings you have received through your marriage. Increase your worship: Make your prayers more perfect , recite more Qur'an in them, make longer du3a; pray more additional voluntary prayers; read Qur'an daily; fast, attend a women's lesson, stay focused on pleasing Allah [swt] and not falling victim to your desires and jealosy. Try to remember that you don't own the man, he belongs to Allah [swt]. Stay away from arguing about complaining, comparing to the other wife. Don't argue with your husband in front of your co-wife or with your co-wife in front of your husband.

Polygyny my dear sister It is one of the many rights that our husbands have in this religion and a Sunnah of Allah's Messenger [sallallahu alayhi wa'salam] that many brothers will choose to practice.

And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphangirls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice. [4:3]

Here is the reality, we were placed upon this earth to worship Allah [swt], alone. We are going to have trials and we must call on Allah to help us with them. You sisters that feel anger and jealousy, think more about the grave, think more about your meeting with Allah [swt], ask youself, is harboring ill feelings worth wasting precious time that could be spent on good deeds to try and please Allah [swt].

O you who believe! Do your duty to Allah and fear Him. And seek the means of approach to Him, and strive hard in His Cause (as much as you can), so that you may be successful. [5:35]

This is a reality, we all must die, who is the first to say that they are ready and that they don't have anything to worry about? Do we really have time to spare on anything other than worshipping and trying to please Allah [swt]? And if polygyny is in the qadr for you then accept it, deal with it.

Read about how the mothers of the believers dealt with it. Read about how the sa7abiyat dealt with it. Turn to Qur'an and the Sunnah of our Prophet [sallallahu alayhi wa'salam] to deal with it, make sincere du3a and ask Allah to help you to deal with it, for sure Allah [swt] is the best of Planners. He knows what we don't know and he knows what is best for us.

May Allah bless you sis Iman with good in this world and hereafter, and give you strength and comfort to your heart ameen.

I wish the best for you and in the case this happens to you try to have sabr... ensha'Allah everything will be fine. ameen ya rab

Barakallahu feekon..