keeping a marriage secret

i have a friend that is christian. anyway, she recently married a muslim man (he just converted to islam a few months before they married). they got married at his mosque. she has not told any of her family members and he has not told any of his family either. only friends were at the marriage. i think it's wrong for them to keep something like this from their families. its disrespectful in my opinion. they say they are just waiting for the right time to tell their families, but i wonder if there isn't something in islam that says they cannot keep their marriage a secret from their families cuz i'd like to persude them to be open about it-- i hate keeping secrets-- it's too much trouble. can anyone help?    

asalamu alaikum shurkan ukty for your reply. i still think it's too strange to keep something this big a secret, but unless there is something unislamic about it, i guess there is nothing to do but keep my mouth shut. here's a another question-- what about lying to protect someones secret?

wa salaam.... ok i understand  what you mean. i have heard that if you hide the fault of others, and Allah (swt) will hide yours. you have helped by explained well. insha'Allah i can have as much knowledge as you about islam. alfishukr ukty :) 

Assalamu Alaikum:

Muslims are not supposed to keep marriages secret period.  That's the whole point of two witnesses... the whole point of the walimah.  If people on the street see this man and woman together...and assume that they are not married, then they will assume that there is something haram about their relationship.  It will make both look bad... and it will also make the Muslim community look bad for they will think that the guy is a hypocrite.

Fromhttp://www.nikahsearch.com/marriage/contract.htm

"Ibn Taimia mentioned four existing opinions on this issue:
(1) The marriage must be announced and made public, regardless of whether the contract was actually witnessed or not.  This was the opinion of Malik as well as the scholars of hadith, the Dhaahiris and one opinion reported from Ahamd.

(2) It is obligatory to have witnesses, regardless of whether the marriage contract is made public or not.  This was the view of Abu Hanifah, Ash-Shafi'iy and another opinion reported from Ahmad.

(3) Both witnesses and a public announcement are necessary.  This is a third narration from Ahmad.

(4) Either one of the two is necessary.  This is a fourth narration from Ahmad.

Ibn Taimia himself felt that the second opinion (only witnesses required) is weak.   He claimed that there was no authentic source for same and that it was not widely known among the Muslims.  Instead, what is required is the public pronouncement letting the people know that the parties got married.  He says that if a marriage takes place without witnesses or public announcement it is definitely invalid, if it takes place with witnesses but no announcement it is questionable and if it takes place with both it is definitely valid.

The portion of Ibn Taimia's opinion which finds the witnesses NOT a requirement must be rejected, because the hadith on this subject has been found to be sahih:

"Laa nikaaha illa bi waliyin wa shaahidaiy 'adlin"
"No marriage except with a guardian and two non-discredited witnesses."

So the bottom line here is that BOTH the witnesses AND the public announcement are required.  In fact, regarding public announcement, the Maliki school says that if the other parties ask the witnesses to keep it silent that the marriage is not valid and the two are to be separated - PERMANENTLY!  The Hanbali school holds that such a marriage is not invalid although it is disliked to do so.  The witnesses must be two adult and sane Muslim men whose testimony has not been previously discredited."

Peace.