Please help

i am a single muslim girl. I have always been a strong believer of Allah. I believe in truthfulness towards Allah and the relationships around. All my life i have ignored many boys who wanted to have an affair with me because i thought that way i will betray my future husband and so i was on right path.. not until i meet that guy on social networking site who was my ex-class fellow. He used to message me daily and i would ignore him in every possible way but unfortunately i started a slight chatting with him in a very normal way.. Their were times when i would ignore him and not talk to him for days but he was after me every single day.. it took him an year to have friendly conversation with me.. i being a normal girl started liking him because he was very respectful and nice to me.. than one day he kind of disclosed his feelings for me and indirectly used words that showed he wanted to marry me. He had a nice job and i was already interested in him so, i agreed. Unfortunately after that he started flirting and would say intimate words with me. I told him directly that i don't like such talk but he didn't listen to me and would kind of blackmail me that if i love him than i should do such talk with him because he would use the word wife for me. Than one night while we were chatting he acted like a husband and didn't listen to me and elaborated the whole scenario like we were together, husband and wife alone in bed.. i was very uncomfortable but lost my senses and contributed with him... though i was continuously telling him not to say things like that but he was ordering me like a husband. The next day on chat when i stopped him, he said i was not his type as i cannot make love with him the way he wanted me to.. So, he will find another girl for marriage who is much better than me in bed. I was shattered not because he left me but of the minor zina i performed with him.. I am in a miserable condition right now and have repented so much to Allah but i am not relieved. I have deleted every single message of him and have stopped using social networking site. However, I cannot find peace in anything.. Its like i have deceived every relationship around me. Also i wanna tell you that i was st**id enough to send him my pictures when he proposed me. I feel suicidal.. Its my fault i know that i assumed him as my husband.. What will i do now! how will i face my future husband! The guilt is so much that i have become weak both physically and emotionally.  I am not pure anymore, the only thing that had kept safe for years is lost... Please help me how can i find peace and not hate myself...

Xzor, welcome to islamicity! We all make mistakes in life, and prayer, fasting, and seeking forgiveness are ways and means to gain Allah's Pleasure. Do not allow the whisper of Shaitan lead you to doubt Allah's Mercy. Indeed the evil one (Shaitan) wants you to believe that you are no longer good, pure and decent, but you are. The devil has no hope for Allah's Mercy and desires that you lose hope as well. Turn away from bad thoughts about yourself, and consider them only the suggestions from Shaitan. You have made your repentance and soon enough, Allah-willing, calm will return to your heart. Eat healthy, exercise and stay busy with your normal daily life. Prepare yourself for Ramadan. Lastly, keep what you have done only between you and Allah, and do not share it with anyone. It was a learning experience for which you now suffer, but having made repentance, insha'Allah you will emerge a better person. I ask that Allah ease your pain and allow you to find inner peace soon. For now you can only be patient.   

As Salamu Alaikum

Come on Sis. Its all over. You seeked repentance. Allah is The forgiver. As our brother {Abu Ayisha{ beautifully said, there are now whisperings from shaytaan.

�Say: O �Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful�[al-Zumar 39:53]