The irony of being muslim

"I actually knew a lady who would never tell anyone her husband drove taxi because she was so ashamed. She told her kids to say that they owned a business."

Sounds like the poor man is in a bad marriage, if she is ashamed of him she should go find another man and let him be a happy single taxi driver(cruising around with no worries of a wife that is ashamed of you to get home to, thinking about how to redecorate the house)

Now if she needs you because she wants to do something good in her life which she needs you for to support her in then good for you, you have a good marriage which will be a blessing for you and for other people through the good she wishes to do, but if she just needs you for a nice life for herself and to fullfill her dreams of a nice house and luxuries, then hey if that's what you are about then go for it.

Bismillah,

To the cultural separation:  Even at the Mosque the people sit in groups according to their culture mostly.  Most importantly, some will come to your house; some will invite you.  It's the husbands who cause this to happen because the women hesitate to invite to ask someone whom their husband hasn't sanctioned.  And then if they will ask you over, it still is a long step for them to encourage their husband to go to your home as a family or even allow her to go to your home.  They don't want the reputation of "going out a lot".  But they will visit cousins and people from their particular country, or sadly, their own social status.

Most of the people who really visited with me were the same color as me.  I invited everyone, except the local gossip.  No, wait a minute, she was invited also.  What can we do?  I don't know; accepting the invitations you are given would be a start.

To the men's clothing.  There are battles being fought all over this world.  Women wearing distinctive clothing places them in the front of the battle, while men not doing this places them safely in the back, behind their wives skirts. 

Simply wearing a beard DOES NOT make you appear different.  Different areas in America have different commonalities, but even the long shaggy beard many of you guys wear is worn in many places by many non-Muslim people:  In the east, south, southwest are places I have seen this frequently.   Oh, and the kufi, the little head piece on top, just to let you know, a lot of kaffir wear that too.  Allah, SWT, will hold you accountable for placing your women in danger constantly and not even holding yourselves to a similar standard as them.

And I reiterate:  Men do not bother me the way I dress without a hijab.  But when I wore hijab and long skirts, or for many years jilbab, men seemed to need to talk to me.  They approached me frequently and said that I looked like an angel and foolish vagaries like that.  All of that while I avoided eye contact and everything!  Don't tell me what you haven't experienced and don't know anything about!

And the dark side of that were the people, men, women, and children, who harrassed me and my kids because of my bravery.  A white woman in America wearing hijab is a target, plain and simple.  People have thrown things out of their cars at me; walked up to me and verbally assaulted and threatened me.  You guys need to stand up and dress distinctively like Muslim men if you want your wives to do it.  How can you let her bear all of the difficulties just for your pride?  If your wife wears hijab or jilbab or even just like me very modest clothing, stand beside her and dress the same.  DO IT TODAY, BROTHERS.  SHOW COURAGE AND ALLAH, SWT, WILL BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES FOR IT!

And May Allah, SWT, bless the Brothers and Sisters who sincerely support each other in this effort.

Salam

So far in the United States, I only have very good experiences, however, in Germany I was a little fed up by the cultural separation. There were Arabic Islamic Centers, Tuerkish Islamic Centers or Albanian Mosques. I reverted in the United States and I live here for awhile as a Muslim and I mostly had good experiences. Since, I reverted I had Summer 2001 I lived in the States until the end of 2002. At that time we had two three masajid. Two in El Paso and one in Fort Bliss Military Base. There were no real cultural differences in both mosques in El Paso. However, there were brothers who went to one particular mosque and others went only to the other mosque. However, each of the mosques were multicultural. In one mosque there I met brothers from Unidad and Tobago, Sudan, Pakistan, India, Tchad, Mali, Marocco, Egypt, Estonia, Bangladesh, Iraq, Iran, Indonesia. I am from Germany born in the States. In the other mosque the brothers were also diverse. There are brothers from Australia, Northern Africa, East Africa, United States, and Mexico. Regularily, the reverts increase and may of them are Hispanic. One of the newest revert comes from Denmark. Marsha'allah, a Muslim viking. We all share the same identity and we are happy to be in this situation. I have not seen much separation because of culture but the problem was the two mosque. The brothers from one mosque never went to the other mosque etc. This sometimes was a little disadvantage. There was an Islamic Center of El Paso, but then brothers because they had problems with the former religious leader who called Muslims sitting in the masjid kaafir during Khutba. They rented a room which they used as mosque. I love the athmosphere in both mosques. I sometimes went to this and sometimes to the other mosques, so that I can meet with many different people. When I reverted the Islamic Center already nominated and selected a new Imam for the Islamic Center. This was an advantage for the entire community.

By the way, there are many brothers and sisters who have spouses from different cultures. When it comes to marriage they do not necessarily prefer the same culture.

When I went to Germany, I was disappointed because of the separation of Muslims, especially between Arabic and Turkish. I stayed in Germany for one year but decided to go back to the United States because I missed the community overthere. The diversity in El Paso mosques was something that I liked. I love it when brothers from Senegal, Pakistan, Mexico, Kuwait, China, and Malaysia sit together talking about the same topic and sharing the same identity. In this regard I have made good experience, and I am very spoiled in this matter.

Now, we increased our unity because we build a new big mosque where all brothers and sisters fit. We got rid of the other two buildings and now we are one community. This mosque united the brothers from the two mosques and now we pray together.

What is the difference. It is our religious leader our sheikh. He is the one who worked towards the unity of the community by practicing in front of us. The Sheikh comes from Kuwait but he grew up in Jordan. He went for four years to Bosnia to serve these people and then he went to the States to El Paso. This sheikh presents himself as the sheikh for the whole community and the community follows that. The sheikh sometimes wears Arabic style clothing but then he wears western style and then he wears dress in the style of the Indean Subcontinent, especially when he gives sermons and lectures. The common language of all is English. Everyone knows English. If not English then Spanish, but also Arabic. Now, we are on the way to found an Islamic Academy which hopefully will unite the community even further. He, the sheikh (one of the AlMaghrib Teachers), already brought AlMaghrib Class to El Paso which he taught himself.

The leaders can make a difference. If the leader is biased then there is disunity but if the leader is unbiased then there is unity.

Salam