If it doesn't work out? We know the same people

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   Assalamualaikum,

I am really curious as to how Muslims who volunteer together (e.g MSAs, Muslims organizations, etc) progress from fellow volunteers to something more, and how people deal with rejection or heartbreak when both individuals are very involved that you can't really avoid each other?

There is a brother who I think is pious, seems to have good character, and is very involved in the Muslim community mashallah.

I have recently started getting involved in the Muslim community again, particularly the one that he is very involved in (not because he is in it, but it just happened that way).  Even when we are not volunteering for that organization together, I end up seeing him at other Muslim events that I volunteer at.

I want to stay being involved in the Muslim community, for the sake of Allah swt and for myself.
However, I am afraid of getting my heart broken.  We share many of the same networks, communities, and know the same people/share friends.  If, in the future, something were to progress to legitimate potential status (in a halal way of course) - but it didn't work out, I feel like I wouldn't really be able to "escape" from seeing him, as we are both pretty involved.  If things don't work out the way we want it to, we should turn to Allah swt, right? And probably also stay active, and in the presence of fellow Muslims.  But if I did that, I feel I would very likely see him in organizations, events etc, and it would be difficult.  Sort of a catch 22.

I understand that I'm worrying about something that might not happen, but I can't help but try to cover the possibilities.

It also doesn't help that there are lots of extremely gorgeous, younger, more accomplished sisters who also have a strong social media presence around as well.  Social Media is probably not helping me in the self-esteem department, but in today's age, where we even find out about Muslim events via social media, it's hard to avoid.

JAK

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Fractal Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 03 July 2018 Location: Earth Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote Fractal Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: If it doesn't work out? We know the same people Posted: 03 July 2018 at 1:24pm
	Assalamualaikum, I am really curious as to how Muslims who volunteer together (e.g MSAs, Muslims organizations, etc) progress from fellow volunteers to something more, and how people deal with rejection or heartbreak when both individuals are very involved that you can't really avoid each other? There is a brother who I think is pious, seems to have good character, and is very involved in the Muslim community mashallah. I have recently started getting involved in the Muslim community again, particularly the one that he is very involved in (not because he is in it, but it just happened that way). Even when we are not volunteering for that organization together, I end up seeing him at other Muslim events that I volunteer at. I want to stay being involved in the Muslim community, for the sake of Allah swt and for myself. However, I am afraid of getting my heart broken. We share many of the same networks, communities, and know the same people/share friends. If, in the future, something were to progress to legitimate potential status (in a halal way of course) - but it didn't work out, I feel like I wouldn't really be able to "escape" from seeing him, as we are both pretty involved. If things don't work out the way we want it to, we should turn to Allah swt, right? And probably also stay active, and in the presence of fellow Muslims. But if I did that, I feel I would very likely see him in organizations, events etc, and it would be difficult. Sort of a catch 22. I understand that I'm worrying about something that might not happen, but I can't help but try to cover the possibilities. It also doesn't help that there are lots of extremely gorgeous, younger, more accomplished sisters who also have a strong social media presence around as well. Social Media is probably not helping me in the self-esteem department, but in today's age, where we even find out about Muslim events via social media, it's hard to avoid. JAK

Faaiz Rosli Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Male Joined: 19 May 2018 Location: Singapore Status: Offline Points: 24	Post Options Post Reply Quote Faaiz Rosli Report Post Thanks(1) Quote Reply Posted: 07 July 2018 at 11:17pm
	Assalamualaikum. I have a cousin of mine who is helping out in an Islamic Community at the mosque, and they get paid too. Though one day the admins decided not to pay them anymore, and this was somehow a letdown for my cousin. In the end, he left the community and did not go to the mosque for a very long period of time. If you ever go through any heartbreaks, just remind yourself of your intentions in volunteering and helping the community. We should turn back to Allah swt not just through our actions but also our intentions. I can't fully understand the way you feel about this (especially since I don't involve myself in such communities >.>), but don't let anything stop you in whatever you are doing. And who knows, Allah swt might reward you with what might please you.

Fractal Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 03 July 2018 Location: Earth Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote Fractal Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 July 2018 at 3:17pm
	Waalaikumussalam, Thank you for your response. That's unfortunate that your cousin left the community for a while. Hope things are better now insha'allah. Yes, I agree - we need to turn back to Allah swt in both our actions and our intentions, and I ask Allah swt to purify my intentions insha'allah. Wondering if anyone else on this forum has any experience with being involved in Muslim organizations and thinking of another volunteer as a potential .. but not doing anything because they share the same networks/friends.