English is a Silly Language

English is a Silly Language

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;

neither apple nor pine in pineapple. 

And while no one knows what is in a hotdog,

you can be pretty sure it isn�t canine.

English muffins were not invented in England

nor French fries in France.

 Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads,

which aren�t sweet, are meat.

But if we explore its paradoxes,

we find that quicksand can work slowly,

boxing rings are square,

and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If the plural of tooth is teeth,

why isn�t the plural of booth, beeth?

 One goose, 2 geese.  So, one moose, 2 meese?

 Is cheese the plural of choose?

 One mouse, 2 mice.

 One louse, 2 lice.

 One house, 2 hice?

If teacher taught, why didn�t preachers praught?

 If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship? 

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?

 How can the weather be hot as hell one day

 and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down.

You fill in a form by filling it out

and alarm clock goes off by going on.

You get in and out of a car,

yet you get on and off a bus.

When the stars are out, they are visible,

but when the lights are out, they invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it,

but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

I have another piece on the english language but you'll have to wait till i get on my pc. (i'm at work)