Questions about Western European Muslims

Assalamualikum.Well it's good if anyone wants to embrace islam and we all welcome anyone who wants to. But I have some thoughts regarding this matter.

What's happpening here is that someone has fallen in love with another girl and he wants to convert because he wants to marry her,but not because he believes islam is the right path.I would like my muslim brothers and sisters to shed some light on this. I am not sure whether this is the way to go about choosing a faith. He is embracing islam because his lover happens to be a muslim.So, we may infer that if the girl was Buddist, he would have chosen buddism ( with all respect to buddism),or Hinduism for that matter, or even atheism, depending on his lover's faith.

I think it would be better if we could convince Mr. Curious that he should embrace islam because it is the right faith, and not just because he loves a muslim girl. The muslim girl is just a catalyst.

I again reiterate I am not sure about what I have opined, so I would like my brothers and sisters to contribute.

And Curious, you are always welcome in the world of Islam.May Allah bless you.

Curious wrote:  The book preaches equality among men and women. But at the same time men can marry out side of islam and women can't.

Give examples.

Curious wrote: And also the trend among muslim families to mistreat the women.

From where did you get this idea? What people do, does not always represent Islam. We know that many nonmuslim men too illtreat their wife/girlfriend. Domestic violence is too much in nonmuslims countries. I cannot blame any religion for actions of a misled person/people. 

Curious wrote: I can't stand that, even though I know it isn't like a huge majority. But there is a verse in the Qur'an that could easily be taken as "You can beat your wife after three strikes." "As for those (women) from whom you fear rebellion, admonish them, then banish them to beds apart, then scourge them. but if they obey you, seek not a way agianst them. lo! Allah is ever High Exalted, Great" (4:34)

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husbands property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.

You must know the exact meaning to understand . Islam has given right to men and women both. We are obliged to fulfill our duties towards our spouse. If either of the spouse does not give the rights of the other, a marriage can collapse. Or least leave you unhappy.

If your wife disobeys you, behaves immorally or immodestly or rebels, or ignores you, gives more importance to her own family and does not take care of your needs/likes/dislikes. Her behaviour is really upsetting. Not like, she forgot to put salt in the food and you can beat her. No. In serious issues where it may harm her or you or your relations. Where it is necessary to correct her.

First you explain to her the reasons like you would do normally, ie. talk to her. If she does not listen and answers back and is adamant then you sleep away from her. If she still misbehaves then you can lightly "hit" her. Its like touching with a "miswaak" (stick used for cleaning teeth).

It is not allowed to "beat" your wife. No pain should be inflicted, no striking the face. Imagine this scene, a child is walking towards a burning candle or towards the edge of a terrace. You try to stop him but he doesn't listen, he throws a tantrum and insists on doing it, what will you do? tell me..

Men have to treat their women kindly, our beloved prophet stressed on this many times, even in his last speech. He was a great example of a good husband. He NEVER hit his wives. It is not a command that all muslim men should beat up their wives. Islam is a religion of peace and mercy. And a religion of justice. I hope it is clearer now. Any more doubts?

peace.

Curious wrote: I completely understood the verse before posting it, though I thank for for trying to make it clear. My point was that it could be taken out of context. Which can be said for alot of things I'm sure. As the dominate man in a household, someone could take any variety of things as a "way agianst them". and while it is very true that in all cultures everywhere women are mistreated. I've very often heard about muslim women getting acid thrown on them, having body parts cut off, and extreme beatings. It could be that the reason you hear about it more in muslim cultures currently is due to the current outlook on muslims at least in America. But having any doubts in my mind means even if I converted, I still wouldn't be muslim. As far as an example for muslim men marrying outside of the religion, I guess that would be hard to give. And I don't have a verse or sunnah to quote. But I read that muslim men are alloud to marry christian, jewish, cathelic and so on women while muslim women can only marry muslim men. The reason being that the dominate religion in a household is normally the Husband's, which will influence the children.

Greetings Curious,

I assume you are more worried about "what happens in muslim countries", "what muslim men do", "quran taken out of context" etc....

First of all, no one can force you to be muslim. Secondly, Allah is calling you to the right path (yes, quran has come down for you too)and if He wills no one can hold you from accepting the truth. Concentrate on what Allah is trying to tell you rather than what some muslim men have done/doing.

You will hear a lot of stories. You know, Muslims verify "news" before believing it? There are good muslim husbands as well.  The frenzy created by the medis against muslims should not mislead you.

Show me one culture anywhere in the world where women are treated better than men.  Being head of the family is one thing and illtreating your wife is another. Islam has given those rights to women which were elusive for centuries. I can find faults in various cultures where women are treating worse than animals. Want to know?

A woman's status in Islam is so high, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter, sister.... It will take a whole day for me to post the rights of women. They are not just in text, they are practiced as well. I will address the issue of marrying nonmuslims later...

Peace.