Depressed because of my looks

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   Assalamoe alaikoem,

When I was a teen I went through an illness (facial paralysis on one side) that changed the symmetry and some nerve function in my face. Alhamdoelillah, after some time the paralysis went away on its own, but my face was just not the same anymore. One side of my face looks much bigger, somedays more than others. Despite this most of the days i Alhamdoelillah felt gratefull and happy en started to practice my deen more, afterall I Alhamdoelillah saw this as a test from Allah to bring me closer and as a sign that he loves me. So after this I appreciated life and health much more and had this happy and satisfied feeling. 

A few years later, in my early twenties, I got struck again by an illness. This time it was an auto-immune disease which causes me a a lot of grievance, as it affects my body, mental state and yet again my appearance. I have this condition for four years now and have been dealing with a lot of negative feelings and lots of time I feel hideous. I feel like I get tested every time with my looks and just dont know how to deal with this anymore. I try to remain patient, but sometimes I cant help but feel jealous of the people around me who never had any health issues and never have to worry and wonder what the next thing is they are going to loose from their looks, as this disease lives inside them. 

I know that everything we have and own comes from Allah, and that its his to take away if he wills, but I have reached a point where I am just tired. Wallahi i am tired of feeling unwell, sad, depressed, worried and sometimes even angry. My peers are all busy with being married, getting married, having babies and here I am feeling a deep sadness because I feel like I am not moving forward and keep being in the same dark hole, full of sadness. I feel that no man would want to marry me with the state of my health and the way I look. Even when a man shows interest, I put up a wall real fast and show disinterest towards them, because I just feel unworthy and insecure.

 I pray my salahs, make duas, listen to Quran, follow lessons about islam, yet I feel my iman is going down because of this illness. 

Does anyone know what more I can do to come out of this state of mind. Because I feel like I have tried everything and I just dont see things changing. I hope that someone can give me some insight or advice. 

Wa alaikoem assalaam

Edited by Jannah123 - 18 December 2016 at 1:20pm

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Jannah123 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 18 December 2016 Status: Offline Points: 1	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jannah123 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Depressed because of my looks Posted: 18 December 2016 at 1:16pm
	Assalamoe alaikoem, When I was a teen I went through an illness (facial paralysis on one side) that changed the symmetry and some nerve function in my face. Alhamdoelillah, after some time the paralysis went away on its own, but my face was just not the same anymore. One side of my face looks much bigger, somedays more than others. Despite this most of the days i Alhamdoelillah felt gratefull and happy en started to practice my deen more, afterall I Alhamdoelillah saw this as a test from Allah to bring me closer and as a sign that he loves me. So after this I appreciated life and health much more and had this happy and satisfied feeling. A few years later, in my early twenties, I got struck again by an illness. This time it was an auto-immune disease which causes me a a lot of grievance, as it affects my body, mental state and yet again my appearance. I have this condition for four years now and have been dealing with a lot of negative feelings and lots of time I feel hideous. I feel like I get tested every time with my looks and just dont know how to deal with this anymore. I try to remain patient, but sometimes I cant help but feel jealous of the people around me who never had any health issues and never have to worry and wonder what the next thing is they are going to loose from their looks, as this disease lives inside them. I know that everything we have and own comes from Allah, and that its his to take away if he wills, but I have reached a point where I am just tired. Wallahi i am tired of feeling unwell, sad, depressed, worried and sometimes even angry. My peers are all busy with being married, getting married, having babies and here I am feeling a deep sadness because I feel like I am not moving forward and keep being in the same dark hole, full of sadness. I feel that no man would want to marry me with the state of my health and the way I look. Even when a man shows interest, I put up a wall real fast and show disinterest towards them, because I just feel unworthy and insecure. I pray my salahs, make duas, listen to Quran, follow lessons about islam, yet I feel my iman is going down because of this illness. Does anyone know what more I can do to come out of this state of mind. Because I feel like I have tried everything and I just dont see things changing. I hope that someone can give me some insight or advice. Wa alaikoem assalaam Edited by Jannah123 - 18 December 2016 at 1:20pm

Godisgreat Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 23 January 2017 Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote Godisgreat Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 23 January 2017 at 4:48am
	Hi Sister, You have been through so much and yet you have managed to keep you faith and stay strong mashallah that is definitely something to be proud of. Appearances are so important to us women however your strength and ability to persevere such hardships is a sign that you have a strong character and that kind of inner beauty is much more difficult to obtain in this world. I have always been overweight so I understand to a small extent how you feel. Of course our situations are not comparable but I too get jealous a lot when I see others and as women it is natural! Have you spoken to doctors about how you can improve your appearance through cosmetic procedures? If it would make you feel better about yourself, maybe you should consider it. Although I find it hard to believe you would need it but if your appearance is causing you this much suffrage than maybe you should consider it. Allah wants us to be happy, so strive towards it however way you can!

agcs28 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 02 February 2017 Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote agcs28 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 February 2017 at 11:25am
	Hello, I am unable to access the sisters only forum, and I am unsure why. Can you help me?