Struggling to keep wearing the hijab

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   Assalamu Alaikum,

I am a 16 year old sister living in Australia and I have been wearing the hijab for the past 3 years. It's been quite a while, but wearing it has been making me feel depressed. Lately I just want to take it off, I've never taken it off secretly because of my fear in Allah swt and I don't want to go behind my parents' backs. Everytime I go out, I feel so upset and I start crying because I don't want to wear it and I feel like the only reason I'm wearing it is because of my parents. I used to wear it when I was younger for fun sometimes when I felt like it, but as soon as I attained puberty the first thing my mum told me was to wear the hijab and be modest, etc. I come from  a very strict family religion-wise, and so I wouldn't say I am 'forced' to wear it but that's what it feels like. Because I can't imagine telling my parents how I feel, especially my dad. I would probably get disowned or something, they're not really open-minded. And I can't imagine telling my mum either, because I don't know what they would do from shame. They would be so disappointed in me, because they love me now. Alhamdulillah, regardless of that I see myself as a good muslim. As in I believe in Allah swt 100% and I love Him with all my heart, as well as the Prophet saw and all the other prophets, sahabas, etc. I pray all my prayers, fast, etc. Pretty much anything a normal practicing muslim should do. When it comes to the hijab, I understand every piece of advice regarding it, what it does because of modesty, etc. I am well aware of everything because my mum has told me and I have read about it countless times. I just can't accept it for myself yet, I do not feel sincere when wearing it. If someone says anything about my hijab or religion out, I get really angry and I am passionate about my deen alhamdulillah and I even explain to them why we wear the hijab. I just want to wear the hijab in a few years though, and I know we can die any second and we never know how long we will live. None of my friends wear the hijab but alhamdulillah they are beautiful people and they love islam as well, their parents just aren't as strict. I don't know what I should do. I don't think taking the hijab off would decrease my deen, of course it may look like it on the outside, but in my heart Allah swt is always first and I will always love and practice my religion. It's just hard living in a western country, and when I look in the mirror I don't like the way I look. I wouldn't secretly do anything but the thought is just constantly in my heart that I am really upset and I don't want to wear it yet. I've watched lectures, read many forums, prayed, etc. But I don't know what to do. 

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muslimah2001i Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 26 October 2017 Status: Offline Points: 1	Post Options Post Reply Quote muslimah2001i Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Struggling to keep wearing the hijab Posted: 26 October 2017 at 9:50pm
	Assalamu Alaikum, I am a 16 year old sister living in Australia and I have been wearing the hijab for the past 3 years. It's been quite a while, but wearing it has been making me feel depressed. Lately I just want to take it off, I've never taken it off secretly because of my fear in Allah swt and I don't want to go behind my parents' backs. Everytime I go out, I feel so upset and I start crying because I don't want to wear it and I feel like the only reason I'm wearing it is because of my parents. I used to wear it when I was younger for fun sometimes when I felt like it, but as soon as I attained puberty the first thing my mum told me was to wear the hijab and be modest, etc. I come from a very strict family religion-wise, and so I wouldn't say I am 'forced' to wear it but that's what it feels like. Because I can't imagine telling my parents how I feel, especially my dad. I would probably get disowned or something, they're not really open-minded. And I can't imagine telling my mum either, because I don't know what they would do from shame. They would be so disappointed in me, because they love me now. Alhamdulillah, regardless of that I see myself as a good muslim. As in I believe in Allah swt 100% and I love Him with all my heart, as well as the Prophet saw and all the other prophets, sahabas, etc. I pray all my prayers, fast, etc. Pretty much anything a normal practicing muslim should do. When it comes to the hijab, I understand every piece of advice regarding it, what it does because of modesty, etc. I am well aware of everything because my mum has told me and I have read about it countless times. I just can't accept it for myself yet, I do not feel sincere when wearing it. If someone says anything about my hijab or religion out, I get really angry and I am passionate about my deen alhamdulillah and I even explain to them why we wear the hijab. I just want to wear the hijab in a few years though, and I know we can die any second and we never know how long we will live. None of my friends wear the hijab but alhamdulillah they are beautiful people and they love islam as well, their parents just aren't as strict. I don't know what I should do. I don't think taking the hijab off would decrease my deen, of course it may look like it on the outside, but in my heart Allah swt is always first and I will always love and practice my religion. It's just hard living in a western country, and when I look in the mirror I don't like the way I look. I wouldn't secretly do anything but the thought is just constantly in my heart that I am really upset and I don't want to wear it yet. I've watched lectures, read many forums, prayed, etc. But I don't know what to do.

kulkun Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Joined: 25 November 2017 Location: Indonesia Status: Offline Points: 1	Post Options Post Reply Quote kulkun Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 November 2017 at 12:33am
	no don't do that...all three sacred book mention it (from jew,christian and moslem) that women should cover "Aurat" and in islam women have very special status and we (muslim) have to treat woman with honor and respect a moslem cannot enter paradise if he/she did terrible thing to his/her mother , also there a hadits that who mention that most women will be inhabitants of hell meaning all thought their high status in islam women also have great risk compare to man to become victim of fitna' maybe you don't understand it yet but this is a precautions taken by your parent and abide what Allah swt told us in quran (Protect your Family From Hell Fire) by asking you to wear Hijab especially living in Autralia This is our "test" sister and all Moslem going to have their own "test" even the prophet himself, i live in the most largest moslem country in the world yet we struggle "to live as moslem" ..islamphobia really real in here even our government supporting islamphobia, our brother who try follow The prophet (PBUH) sunnah getting mocked and labeled as "terorist" , some of our brother labeled as extrimist even getting gunned down after morning prayer in mosque.. Our capital governor "try to mock the quran" and as result 7 million moslem rally demanding justice as our government almost decided to take no further action https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/dec/02/jakarta-protests-muslims-against-christian-governor-ahok https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YETJDHJO_U we rally with tear deep down inside as we cant do nothing im not trying to scare you sister or anything but yes every single moslem going to have their own "test" and a test as ummah, all of them going to start with a small one (as example im struggling with alcohol, and the most common casses in my country many of young girl take off their hijab end up doing free sex and perform abortion) one thing lead to another, small one lead to a bigger one Your parent telling you to wear hijab is a sign they love you maybe you haven't understand this yet but as the time goes by you will understand