live without the love of your life??...please help

Salam dear sisters,

I ve hesitated for a long time...but I ve become so desperate and confused that I dont know what is the right thing to do. I really hope you can help me.

My name is Ayse, I m 27 years old, Turkish and Muslim and I live in Austria.

about two years ago I met the love of my life. Online on facebook because I mistook him for my friend's cousin who has the same name and who I wanted to ask for a favour concering a birthday suprise for my friend.

This way I met the love of my life. He is Egyptian, 29 years old and living in Cairo. I dont know why but we started talking...small talk...about politics..religion...everything...we got along perfectly...and soon we started talking on skype every night. we have the same strange sense of humour. the same views on life. we felt strangely connected to each other but we never got into intimate talking or stuff like that.

about seven months after our meeting my best friend who is also egyptian and her family traveled to cairo. and i accompanied them. what a fascinating city. i also met him there in public places. not alone. he brought his brother and I also had my friend and her brothers around. he even presented me to his whole family.

he told me he loved me. and i loved him too. he wanted me to make it official and tell all my family about it. so i did. he was always talking about marriage, children...about me as his big love.

he wanted to go to europe...Germany or England to work as a doctor. and later when he retires, he wanted us to go back to egypt. i agreed. i started learning arabic.

and then in feburary this year i got the shock of my life. he broke up with me. he said we couldnt be together. he didnt want to leave egypt because europe was so bad and all People are morally bad too. he doesnt want his Kids to grow up in such a Society. i asked him if he still loved me but he refused to answer. he said i was unique...and that my tears and pain are killing him.

somehow we kept the contact. we still message each other countless times a day. but neutral Messages. no talk about love anymore.

this Situation is killing me. he doesnt give me any hope for the future. he avoids talking about what happened...no talk about love...one day i had Problems with my mobile Internet...and he was worried because he didnt hear from me for some hours. he called me several times because he was so worried that something bad might have happened to me. i saw the calls and Messages the next day when my mobile worked again.

i dont know how to go on. this pain is killing me. i Keep crying almost every night. i still love him so much. i would do anything allowed to make him the happiest husband in the world.

and i cant cut off contact. i cant let him go. but this Situation is killing me. the pain and emotions are confusing me.

my friend and her family will go to cairo again in five weeks and asked me if i want to accompany them again. he said he would be so happy to see me again. but then asked me not to get emotional on this meeting.

please help me. i m so desperate. i ve been praying so many nights...but i feel lost.

i d be so grateful for your help. many thanks in advance

ayse

As salaamoalaikum sister. I feel bad that you are hurting now. I think that you should not go to cairo. What is the point of meeting him if you will not marry him. I think that if a guy tells you that he does not want to marry you then please believe him. You will feel worst after leaving him.
He is making excuses by telling you that he does not want to raise children in Europe because it is bad there. I have traveled to Cairo more than a year ago, and he cant not say that Europe is bad. When I was there, I was surprise that I saw few women wearing abayas. Majority of the cairans were wearing tight legging pants with a shirt only long enough to pass their bottoms. I interacted with the Egyptians as a foreignor and he can not say that shaitan is not there too. Shaitan is running wild in cairo.
Allah may have another plan for you. And when Allah plans something for you is best for you.
It will be very difficult for you to just travel there without seeing him. you still love him dearly.
You already know what you should do. If you don't then you neeed to make istekara.
Thank Allah for what you have been going through, and learn from your situation.
I will be very surprise if he works as a doctor in an European country then he leaves it to go back to Egypt to raise his children. Usually this does not happen with doctors coming from an noneuropean country to practice medicine in an European country.
Life goes by fast sister. Please don't waste your time on anything that will not be good for you.
Salaam

as salaamoalaikum ummatee81.  I had a couple of conversations with my gfs about what you said that is more important in a relationship such as finding someone who has "dedication, commitment and security." can you please explain why do you think that this is more important than finding someone who has a mirror of likes and dislikes, thoughts the same as you?