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Marriage

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Haq Khateeb View Drop Down
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Joined: 17 January 2025
Location: Lahore
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Haq Khateeb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Marriage
    Posted: 17 January 2025 at 7:40am

Wa Alaikum Assalam,

Sister, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way — it sounds incredibly overwhelming, and I can imagine how much pressure you must be under. First, I want to say that it’s completely okay to feel how you’re feeling. Just because someone seems perfect on paper doesn’t mean your heart will feel at peace.

Marriage is one of the biggest decisions of your life. If every time you think about this proposal, your instinct is telling you no, that’s something important. You’re not being stubborn or rebellious — you’re listening to yourself and trying to make the right choice with sincerity. Allah created us with feelings and instincts for a reason, and we’re meant to trust them, especially after making dua and praying for guidance.

As for your parents, it’s clear they want what’s best for you. It can be so hard when they see things differently, especially when they frame it as “the shaytan whispering.” That must be really frustrating. But sometimes, even loving parents don’t fully understand the weight of a decision like this from your perspective.

If you can, try to gently explain your feelings again — let them see your heart. Tell them it’s not about rejecting their advice or being disrespectful, but you simply don’t feel peace about this proposal, no matter how much you’ve tried. Maybe ask for a break from the conversations so you can breathe and have some space to reflect without pressure.

And please don’t forget: Islam honors your choice. Your parents have a right to guide you, but you have the right to choose who you marry. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us that no one should be forced into marriage.

Lastly, take care of your heart and mind, and don’t let guilt eat you up. You’re not alone. Trust in Allah’s plan — He will guide you to what’s best for your future, and this stress will pass. Keep making dua, and if you need someone to talk to, reach out to a trusted friend or mentor who can help you feel heard.

May Allah grant you ease, clarity, and the strength to stand by your decision with wisdom and calm. I’m praying for you.
If you still have any doubts ill recommend you to visit this site which helped me to clear these decisions..... You can check it out here quranislove.com

Stay strong, sister. You’ve got this.

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asiaummaaminah View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote asiaummaaminah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 August 2024 at 1:35pm
It's crucial to recognize that marriage is a partnership requiring constant effort and understanding. When challenges arise, seeking professional help, such as Marriage Counseling, can make a significant difference. It offers couples the tools to communicate better, resolve conflicts, and rebuild trust. Don't wait until problems become overwhelming; early intervention through counseling can help strengthen the bond and create a healthier, happier relationship.

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Mustafaleek View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mustafaleek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 March 2023 at 4:53am
[QUOTE=fais]Dear Sister,

Take my example. My wife married me without meeting me personally. she was in india and i was in saudi. for visa purpose i got nikah done over the phone. she trusted Allah and her parents and now we are together since 7 years with a beautiful girl child. so dont be stubborn.put islam in between and take a decision. your check list should be as below

is he a practicing muslim
does he pray salah
is he capable to take your resposibility
does he qualify to attract u as per your perception for a husband.

I thing this is what we have in our hands and rest leave it to Allah
hope thia helps.
regards

i have read your story so motivate for me thank you brother Allah Bless on you.
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Aziza25 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aziza25 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2018 at 5:57am
Salam sister,

What are your real reasons for not wanting to get married at 25? Is there something keeping you or you just don't feel any need?
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tryingkangaroo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tryingkangaroo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 November 2017 at 10:59am
you want my advice from life experience? Do Istikhara, if you dont see anything or dont get a vibe then dont go ahead with it. Im sorry to say islamically people have a really naive view when it comes to marriage. Yes we are muslim so we should get married but don't! for the love of god do it because everyone else says you should. Fais took a massive risk and it paid off but it was a massive risk, Fais congratulations by the way i'm really happy for you bro.

But back to my point! If your not up for it dont do it! but heres a curve ball dont wait to flipping long either if you want to have a family.

Im probably not being helpful but I will say keep your heart open and pray that Allah puts you in the right position to be married.
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fais View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2017 at 12:29am
It is not haram but this is the right age a girl shud get married. i have seen girls who deny good proposals repenting later.hope this does not happen with you.
Regards,
Faisal
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Longford23 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Longford23 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 October 2017 at 4:07am
The thing is I don't want to get married now and I have no desire to .. I'm just not up to it yet. Is that wrong , I don't think I'm doing anything haram or shirk?
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fais View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2017 at 7:19pm
Dear Sister,

Take my example. My wife married me without meeting me personally. she was in india and i was in saudi. for visa purpose i got nikah done over the phone. she trusted Allah and her parents and now we are together since 7 years with a beautiful girl child. so dont be stubborn.put islam in between and take a decision. your check list should be as below

is he a practicing muslim
does he pray salah
is he capable to take your resposibility
does he qualify to attract u as per your perception for a husband.

I thing this is what we have in our hands and rest leave it to Allah
hope thia helps.
regards
Faisal
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