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Haq Khateeb ![]() Starter. ![]() ![]() Male Islam Joined: 17 January 2025 Location: Lahore Status: Offline Points: 2 |
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Wa Alaikum Assalam, Sister, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way — it sounds incredibly overwhelming, and I can imagine how much pressure you must be under. First, I want to say that it’s completely okay to feel how you’re feeling. Just because someone seems perfect on paper doesn’t mean your heart will feel at peace. Marriage is one of the biggest decisions of your life. If every time you think about this proposal, your instinct is telling you no, that’s something important. You’re not being stubborn or rebellious — you’re listening to yourself and trying to make the right choice with sincerity. Allah created us with feelings and instincts for a reason, and we’re meant to trust them, especially after making dua and praying for guidance. As for your parents, it’s clear they want what’s best for you. It can be so hard when they see things differently, especially when they frame it as “the shaytan whispering.” That must be really frustrating. But sometimes, even loving parents don’t fully understand the weight of a decision like this from your perspective. If you can, try to gently explain your feelings again — let them see your heart. Tell them it’s not about rejecting their advice or being disrespectful, but you simply don’t feel peace about this proposal, no matter how much you’ve tried. Maybe ask for a break from the conversations so you can breathe and have some space to reflect without pressure. And please don’t forget: Islam honors your choice. Your parents have a right to guide you, but you have the right to choose who you marry. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us that no one should be forced into marriage. Lastly, take care of your heart and mind, and don’t let guilt eat you up. You’re not alone. Trust in Allah’s plan — He will guide you to what’s best for your future, and this stress will pass. Keep making dua, and if you need someone to talk to, reach out to a trusted friend or mentor who can help you feel heard. May Allah grant you ease, clarity, and the strength to stand by your decision with wisdom and calm. I’m praying for you. Stay strong, sister. You’ve got this. |
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asiaummaaminah ![]() Starter. ![]() Female Islam Joined: 29 August 2024 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1 |
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It's crucial to recognize that marriage is a partnership requiring constant effort and understanding. When challenges arise, seeking professional help, such as Marriage Counseling, can make a significant difference. It offers couples the tools to communicate better, resolve conflicts, and rebuild trust. Don't wait until problems become overwhelming; early intervention through counseling can help strengthen the bond and create a healthier, happier relationship. |
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Mustafaleek ![]() Starter. ![]() ![]() Male islam Joined: 17 March 2023 Location: united state Status: Offline Points: 1 |
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[QUOTE=fais]Dear Sister,
Take my example. My wife married me without meeting me personally. she was in india and i was in saudi. for visa purpose i got nikah done over the phone. she trusted Allah and her parents and now we are together since 7 years with a beautiful girl child. so dont be stubborn.put islam in between and take a decision. your check list should be as below is he a practicing muslim does he pray salah is he capable to take your resposibility does he qualify to attract u as per your perception for a husband. I thing this is what we have in our hands and rest leave it to Allah hope thia helps. regards i have read your story so motivate for me thank you brother Allah Bless on you. < id="BFI_" style="width: 1px; height: 1px; display: none;"> |
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Aziza25 ![]() Newbie ![]() ![]() Joined: 04 February 2018 Status: Offline Points: 16 |
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Salam sister,
What are your real reasons for not wanting to get married at 25? Is there something keeping you or you just don't feel any need? |
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tryingkangaroo ![]() Starter. ![]() ![]() Male Joined: 02 November 2017 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 5 |
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you want my advice from life experience? Do Istikhara, if you dont see anything or dont get a vibe then dont go ahead with it. Im sorry to say islamically people have a really naive view when it comes to marriage. Yes we are muslim so we should get married but don't! for the love of god do it because everyone else says you should. Fais took a massive risk and it paid off but it was a massive risk, Fais congratulations by the way i'm really happy for you bro.
But back to my point! If your not up for it dont do it! but heres a curve ball dont wait to flipping long either if you want to have a family. Im probably not being helpful but I will say keep your heart open and pray that Allah puts you in the right position to be married. |
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fais ![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: 24 August 2009 Location: Oman Status: Offline Points: 344 |
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It is not haram but this is the right age a girl shud get married. i have seen girls who deny good proposals repenting later.hope this does not happen with you.
Regards, Faisal |
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Longford23 ![]() Starter. ![]() ![]() Female Joined: 23 October 2017 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3 |
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The thing is I don't want to get married now and I have no desire to .. I'm just not up to it yet. Is that wrong , I don't think I'm doing anything haram or shirk?
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fais ![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: 24 August 2009 Location: Oman Status: Offline Points: 344 |
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Dear Sister,
Take my example. My wife married me without meeting me personally. she was in india and i was in saudi. for visa purpose i got nikah done over the phone. she trusted Allah and her parents and now we are together since 7 years with a beautiful girl child. so dont be stubborn.put islam in between and take a decision. your check list should be as below is he a practicing muslim does he pray salah is he capable to take your resposibility does he qualify to attract u as per your perception for a husband. I thing this is what we have in our hands and rest leave it to Allah hope thia helps. regards Faisal |
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