Marriage

Wa Alaikum Assalam,

Sister, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way — it sounds incredibly overwhelming, and I can imagine how much pressure you must be under. First, I want to say that it’s completely okay to feel how you’re feeling. Just because someone seems perfect on paper doesn’t mean your heart will feel at peace.

Marriage is one of the biggest decisions of your life. If every time you think about this proposal, your instinct is telling you no, that’s something important. You’re not being stubborn or rebellious — you’re listening to yourself and trying to make the right choice with sincerity. Allah created us with feelings and instincts for a reason, and we’re meant to trust them, especially after making dua and praying for guidance.

As for your parents, it’s clear they want what’s best for you. It can be so hard when they see things differently, especially when they frame it as “the shaytan whispering.” That must be really frustrating. But sometimes, even loving parents don’t fully understand the weight of a decision like this from your perspective.

If you can, try to gently explain your feelings again — let them see your heart. Tell them it’s not about rejecting their advice or being disrespectful, but you simply don’t feel peace about this proposal, no matter how much you’ve tried. Maybe ask for a break from the conversations so you can breathe and have some space to reflect without pressure.

And please don’t forget: Islam honors your choice. Your parents have a right to guide you, but you have the right to choose who you marry. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us that no one should be forced into marriage.

Lastly, take care of your heart and mind, and don’t let guilt eat you up. You’re not alone. Trust in Allah’s plan — He will guide you to what’s best for your future, and this stress will pass. Keep making dua, and if you need someone to talk to, reach out to a trusted friend or mentor who can help you feel heard.

May Allah grant you ease, clarity, and the strength to stand by your decision with wisdom and calm. I’m praying for you.
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Stay strong, sister. You’ve got this.