Family problems how to deal with mother

Asalamualikum I’m going through a really rough period with my mom I don’t know why or how we were very close before and I’m trying so crazy hard to establish a connection with her I tried talking to her like I’m so tired with it it always ends up me crying and hurting myself like crazy while she just stays still and says I’m the one who doesn’t love her and that this is all she can do and that she isn’t resposivle for me if I have a discussion that I want her to talk she says simply I’m not entitled to do anything and you simply have to obey I get that but the way she throws that obey in a commending aithorative dictorial way hurts me I’ve told her and it’s really bad now I say a word and it’s disobedient and now I’ve simply given up I don’t talk at all to avoid any fight but I’m so sad I don’t know what to do I’ve tried everything literally how do I obey her like she’s Enfield to get not kill myself hurting myself that she doesn’t see anything that’s happening and how I’m being effected by her

Asselamwalaikum  warehmatulla hiwabarakatuhu , having spoken about mothers ,its very tough sometimes as she is a member of your family and you cannot get away from her and you have to face it either this way or that way, even i have a very tough time and a very  bitter relationship with my mother as not every person is same and at the same time not every mother is soft spoken, i have suffered a lot and i have been handling it and islam tells us about respecting parents ,even i used to feel irritated by this things when i shared my problem with others concerning my mother but later i learnt that i need to keep patience as it might be a test from Allah swt, this life is to worship him alone and he has put us in a test to examine his true worshippers,..so you need to avoid such fights or quarrels with your mother by focusing your majority of time in deen and dhikr , just be steadfast in deen and pray for yourself and make Dua for your mothers guidance , dnt indulge in such topics which would make your mother angry but if she is asking you to disobey Allah swt and do things which could lead to transgression then do not obey her , no matter she is your mother, even though if she tortures you then seek help of someone whom she listens and try to bring her towards deen by making her listen some good islamic lectures,..if nothing helps you then just ask Allah swt for forgiveness and keep patience as Allah never burdens a soul beyound it can bear.