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Marriage breaking before even starting!
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Simplysmiling View Drop Down
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    Posted: 30 April 2018 at 10:04am
Asalaam mualikum. Please help. I have no one to talk to. I have had my Nikkah alhamdulillah in January this year. Wedding and bidai for August. Me and my husband do not live together yet. We keep having arguments over the wedding to the point where he would slander my family. He did this so many times but last week he crossed the line he crossed so many times and beyond that even! I gave his ring back and he gave his ring back to me. Well I have all the ring because he didn't take them. I have spoken to him in over a week. I don't k ow what to do. This can't be the end of our marriage. I love him and I know he loves me too. But what can I do? I love my family and can't bear anyone talking bad about them.
Please give me advise I how to approach this. I haven't told my family. Even after everything I don't them to think bad of him.
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Wa alaikum salaam, Who's paying for the wedding?
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Simplysmiling View Drop Down
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We both are. My family is supporting me as much as they can but it's very limited. I'm the lady daughter left. Most of it I am paying.
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Salam Alaikum,
Sit down with him or call him and have an open discussion on mutual likes and dislikes. State your concerns in a polite and unemotional manner. Discuss and communicate and do not accuse each other.
Let us see where it takes both of you.
Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
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Weddings and funerals bring out the worst in us. Loads of stress and expectations and nobody involved has done it enough to be practiced at it.

Thw worst enemy of a good marrage, either the ceremony or the life, is the idea of a perfect marrage.
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Assalam Alaikum,

Well I think I can answer this question the best. I have been into such a situation 2 times. I married first cousin in KSA and then we use to chat and talk over the phone. But every time I use to talk to her after Nikah, I use to fight with her very often and one fine day she decided to quit. I gave her Talaq on her request but I still love her and when I analyse the issue between me and her I feel it was just shaitan between us. So relation over the phone is very delicate and as per my experience one shud limit that to salam dua only till you actually get married.

Then I married again and this time also we use to fight but not that bad but this girl was not the one to back off and we finally married. believe me relation over the phone and actually living together has a great difference. I love her a lot and I have a six year old girl child. Happily married Alhumdulillah.

Regards,
Faisal
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Originally posted by fais fais wrote:

Assalam Alaikum,

Well I think I can answer this question the best. I have been into such a situation 2 times. I married first cousin in KSA and then we use to chat and talk over the phone. But every time I use to talk to her after Nikah, I use to fight with her very often and one fine day she decided to quit. I gave her Talaq on her request but I still love her and when I analyse the issue between me and her I feel it was just shaitan between us. So relation over the phone is very delicate and as per my experience one shud limit that to salam dua only till you actually get married.

Then I married again and this time also we use to fight but not that bad but this girl was not the one to back off and we finally married. believe me relation over the phone and actually living together has a great difference. I love her a lot and I have a six year old girl child. Happily married Alhumdulillah.

Regards,
Faisal


Don't marry your cousin.

Your children are far more likely to be born deformed or biologically weakened in many ways.

Biology is a chancy thing. If you marry a stranger (genetically) you have a less than 1% chance of having biology go wrong and the child being born with some genetic problem.

If you marry a cousin then the chance is far higher. Don't convert a 1% to a 20%.
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Dr. Aslam View Drop Down
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Points: 279 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Aslam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 August 2018 at 11:47am
Wa alaikum,
Please sit down with a person whom you trust in knowledge and status. Discuss your issues openly and before that prepare a list of concerns you have.
Inshallah, this discussion will lead you to right decision.
There is no need to slander each other no matter what is the level of differences.
Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
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