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divorce away from home-Please help
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minuteman View Drop Down
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Points: 1642 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote minuteman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2007 at 6:03am

 

 Walid has given good advice. Before that Herjihad had also said the same thing. It is a funny thing. Divorce on telephone. You sure have recognised the voice I hope. Please make a note of the date that he proclaimed/ announced it. Time is running out.

You can easily go back to your home for the reason that you want to spend the period of Iddat at home, if he permits you. Also to make sure that what you heard was from your husband and to confirm that he said something. Tell him not to worry. You will be there and won't harm anything. There is no harm in living together for a short time and parting in a good manner. Convince him in some way that it is better (rather best) that you spend the Iddat period at your home with husband.

 That period is about three months. Try to be as good as possible. You may be having few items at the previous house which you may need to collect. Also, you may have some papers there too, such as Nikah Nama etc, or bank books. You have mentioned his family. Does he live with parents or what type of family? Who is there with him?? Which city you are in Westcoast (if you do not mind)?? You may not tell all that I ask. Please forget what I have written. Thanks.

Prayers are most important. Are you a prayer monger?? Speak to Allah right now. Seek His help. May Allah help you save the marriage.
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herjihad View Drop Down
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Points: 2473 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote herjihad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 November 2007 at 4:47pm
Originally posted by zmsg zmsg wrote:

Thank you to all who took the time to answer my questions.

Let me clarify a few points noted above.

I do live in the West (USA), and so does my husband and family. I left my husband's home after a quarrel and per his request to go to my parents home, for one month. We did not speak for a month, and I gave him the space he & I needed. After the month past, i tried to reconcile, however he made no attempts to speak to me or my family. I tried to call, he would not answer the phone, nor answer any messages. These attempts to reconcile was during the holy month of Ramadan. Then he called me and uttered the words "... you are divorced" and hung up. There was no other discussion during the phone conversation. He called said those two words and hung up. Also I'd like to add that this was during Ramadan, when he said this to me. And as of this moment, I have not heard from him nor his family, and almost a month and half has passed by. I am being told by family members that I should return to my  home during this waiting period of divorce. However, I don't feel convinced, and this is why i'm seeking a second opinion..Also I wanted to add that its been 3 months that we have not spoken nor have I returned to my home. So that is why i was asking how long can a wife be away from her home??  In addition, this is the first time for my husband to utter the words divorce..

 

Salaamu Alaykum,

If you own anything, like the home for example, or helped pay on the mortgage, these are other considerations for you besides these discussions.

But when you say that he asked you to leave, ignores your calls, and pronounced divorce on you abruptly, this is additional information that clarifies things.  Still, if YOU want to return, then you have the right to do so.  I think that is something that everyone is stating clearly and is Islamically correct a hundred percent.  But do so now if you are going to.

If you don't want to return, then talk to a sheikh or a counselor if you can't find a sheikh, to help you through this difficult time.  Please be very aware that the local Imam or even an Imam in a big city is not necessarily a sheikh, and very often isn't.  The Imam may just be the prayer leader and may not have the skills or degree or even the authority of the mosque to counsel you. 

May Allah, The Most Loving, be with you.
Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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