Salams,

 

Like to know your advice on this. My child saw one Muslim person we know from a Muslim fast food store purchase bottles of beer and brought this to my attention. I came closer and saw the bottles being put inside the bag and asked the cashier if they were soft drinks, but she told me they were beer and even gave me the trade name. This brother is a Muslim he works for a well known Take Away on a main street within a Muslim community and I tried speaking to the manager but they would not give me his contact details. I think the brother suspects that I know about this and that is why he asked why I wanted to contact his manager. Tbh, I just wanted to tell the manager to take care of his employees and keep an eye out on them, without point at anyone, I wanted him to be aware this is going on and that it was not going to help his business if other Muslims found out that one of the men working there is purchasing alcoholic drinks. But as I said they didn't give me his phone number. 

 

So I have notified some responsible Muslims who will discuss the issue with an Imam. I said to them that I felt responsible that if other younger Muslim may watch him purchasing alcohol they may get encouraged to drink it, but I reminded them that they should try to conceal his sin, so that Allah will cover ours and I did not give them his name, but only the name of the fast food store.

 

I don't know if I did the right thing. I don't know what will happen.  The sister I spoke to said it was important they knew about it as they would like to speak to him diplomatically about this. I feel confused, because I don't know how the brother will may take it or will understand why this is wrong to do what he's doing. I think he knows we saw him purchase alcohol, but I don't know if he bought those bottles of beer to drink for himself, or for someone else.

 

Any suggestions from Muslims will be appreciated.

 

Jazak Allahkhair

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sister fareeda, I think sister Nauseen has done her best to reply to your concerns. Please don't take it personal. The purpose of this private forum is to correct ourselves so that we may do better in public. Let us all, including me, look at the wider objective of dawah.

 

May Allah guide us all.

 

Wassalam,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Salams,

 

May Allah bless.

Sister Nausheen,

 

Assalamualaikum

 

Firstly, writing in bold and being hostile only shows arrogance. I already know most of the things you have posted, because long ago when I was only a teen I met plenty of sisters who condemned me to hell with umpteen quotes such as these and you know what? I nearly left Islam, if it weren not for good spiritual Muslims whom I met on my path while going through trauma. 

 

I was 'switching off' while reading your post so be careful of intimidation and acting as if only you have the authority on understanding God's word, as you may literally drive really good Muslims out of Islam with your tongues and attitude if you continue this way all teaming up against one user seeking counsel, guidance and support and in case you did not know this is different from your patronising tone of lecturing and condemnation.

 

I know what backbiting and slandering is and if you are not careful, you will have to bring evidence in the courts of Allah why you are condemning me all the time while giving only your view point on gheeba when the question was how to help Muslims to stop drinking alcohol and bring them closer to the deen and how to go about it.

 

I am not going to do what you say according to your interpretation of Islam and I will not be manipulated into your school of thinking, whatever that is, it certainly doesn't seem to be like the gentle manner which our beloved Prophet did dawa with believers!

 

We are completely different personalities and once Muslims disagree with one another about a ruling, you should know that something is wrong in the interpretation of the deen, somewhere, and the fault does not necessarly lie all with me.

 

This is my advice to you. I do not want you to post in a hostile bold manner Sister Nausheen, so please keep away if you can not be courteous or if you are all going to continously patronise and pick faults on me for nothing making me to appear as a great sinner.

 

Wasalam

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nausheen wrote: Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir Rajeem, Bismillah ir Rahman ir Rahim,   Asslamaualiakum wa rahmatullah wa barkatuhu,   The very first and most important thing we all muslims should be doing for each other (and most especially in a world of today) is to make excessive dua for eachother's Imaan - its firmness and our steadfastedness in religion.   The very first chapter of the Quran is a dua, where Allah has taught us the best way of spplicating to Him ... we may note that in this supplication we say 'guide us' to the straight path  (as opposed to guide me to the straight path)... thus Allah has indicated to us the adab of dua is to include ev�ry muslim's well being and integrity of imaan, khair insha Allah.   The adab of enjoining good and forbiding evil is that one may correct a person when  a wrong action is being done - this means one cannot go checking others when they have already finished doing the action. Therfore the best thing, if it was possible for you was to stop the brother when he was in the process of buying alchohol. A gentle advice or words of caution are best ways to begin with.   Spreading the word about him may amount to gheebah, and Allah knows best. Spying on his activities is also forbidden in sharia, so please take care.   If you know which mosque the brother frequents, you may breath a general word of caution to the imaam, that he may give a dars if possible on the prohibitiveness of alcohol, however telling the imaam specifically pointing at the brother would be disclosing his sin.   It is said that of all the duties of religion, the most difficult is to enjoin good and forbid evil. We all must learn the sharia rulings of discharging this duty and take much care in carying it out. Like in all other acts of worship, our aim in this as well is only the good pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta�la.   And success is through Allah.

 

 

On the "outside" post you said you are doing "dawa work".  That's great, may Allah help you be successful dawa worker, may Allah reward you for that.

I have some suggestion, if you don't agree please ignore it, I wanted to mention it on the "outside post" but probably not proper. I said this because you are my sister in Islam. Moreover I am really-really want you will be successful dawa worker

 

- You are very sensitive to the people who don't not agree with you.

On this topic, you had ask some opinions on how to take care this young brother who like to buy alcohol beverages. Sr. Nausheen sincerely tried to give you her opinion that you asked for, she tried to spend time on this on her very busy schedule.  Apparently you misinterpret her response and you look so angry. I read and re-read her response, I found it just genuine response, nothing that put you down. You rised many things about her, including her "bold" post that nothing to do with her response itself. I  think you need to appreciate other opinion and respond properly in case is not in-line with yours.

 

- You are very judgmental, you said Sr. Nausheen is arrogant just because her "bold" post. You said I put you down  because you are female, just because I said "cool down". So you need to do a little more research and observation before you judge somebody such and such. By the way judging somebody is not nice thing to do.

 

To be successful dawa worker we need excellence personality, like you said in the outside post as "good moral". Patience, caring, polite, respect etc, after the personality we also need to be strategic and wise. Strategic and wise mean like when the "ummah" still like to drink, Allah only said don't "drunk" when you perform shalat, other example when the Bedouin pee in the prophet mosque, the prophet forgave him easily even if the shahabah want to punish even kill him.

 

Try to make friend as much as possible and collaborate with them to achieve the bigger goal,  even if there is a little difference in a less important  issue. In this case you like to make enemy with me with Sr. Nausheen just caused by a little misunderstanding.

 

Alhamdulillah our deen have a lot of good stuffs to sell, by the help of Allah in the west it sold good even if we don't have enough good quality dawa worker compare to other faiths. However in the third world (poor) countries they sold better, because the personality of the preachers play bigger role compare in the west that many of them (converts) were

Anyway may Allah bless and guide us to be good "messenger" for his deen.

 

 

As'Salamu Alaikum,

 

Dear sis Fareeda, i was going thru your posts all these days. You do have good spirit to spread Islam, which is a great blessing. Masha-Allah. Will it not be good if we mould our posts with bit softness. Insha-Allah , sister they shall then turn up lives of people around you, believe me !

 

May be the experiences of your life had made you bit sensitive. InshaAllah, Allah swt shall soon help us to over come our weaknesses. You are doing a great job and so we hold a big responsibility.

 

Regarding the problem you addressed, it was not just your problem but a general problem. We are looking to as how to approach such problem. It was not exactly addressed  to you, but as a whole. Hope sister, you shall say sorry to all those whom you have hurted. { Even if it was unintentional }. IC is a good place, which you must have realised by now. It shall be a wonderful experience to spend our time when we tolerate each other and love each other for the sake of Allah swt. Will you not do it sister ?

To Semar and Others

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prove that I am judgemental. It's okay to read part of my posts without understanding but not Nausheen's? Wow, it seems Nausheen is someone very special to all of you is that right? Is she also a Moderator? Your wife?

 

Why all the unfairness? What about her accusations and her judgemental remarks, her impolite and cold manner of disucssing etc and what about yours? Are you all envious of me? It seems like it.

 

 

 

First it was Nauhseen picking on me, then the moderator and now you picking on me, others have picked up on me in other threads. With what type of sensitivity do you care about new forum members asking simple ethical questions? Is it really that hard?

 

Look at my initial post and compare, use your wisdom. When I saw the first post in this forum, I like the response about the hadith so I come here and boom! Big bold, judgmental posts attacking ME intsead of dealing with the topic.  If you can not answer the querry then why don't you just simply not respond instead adding yourself with other 5 users attacking me as I am only one woman? Have you no shame?

 

 

 

I hope there is an adminsitrator who is watching over our discussion because all of you seem only to pick at the way I choose to discuss even though most of the time I have only tried to say,  what is islamic. I have always been courteous to the best of my ability if you do not like to hear the truth that is not my problem. you also need to go to college to learn English because you do not undertsand or appreaciate language skills. It is quite simple when someone says this sounds arrogant that it does not mean I am saying the person is arrogant but yes it is arrogance to boldly declare others as slanderers without an Islamic greeting, introduction but blatant condesceding remarks without appraching in an islamic manner or adab or using wisdom in answering a simple topic. It just goes to show really how ignorant this ummah is becoming.

 

You know what? You all appear as a gang set out against me ever since I have joined. It's like as if I am being chased by hounds. Soon I will not even be in this forum if you all continue attacking me this way.  Just read through all my posts in each forum I have been attacked personally. No one has bothered discussing the issue hand. I even had to delete asking advice becasue it was all negativity which you promote. How much have you slandered, picked and ostracised on one user - me. Who do I have as a defence except myself and I will speak the truth and defend myself if wronged because dhulm, oppresion is completely haram and sinful, just remember that. You have no right to judge and sander me or to group up against me

 

Astaghfirullah! I simply do not like repeated rhetoric in manipulation, and I am old enough to know the difference.

 

Assalamu laikum Sr. Fareeda,

 

Not only me that think you are too sensitive and sometime over reactive and not wise, here I copied your conversation with Ron and suggestion from Sr. Shasha Aunt:

 

===

Ron: "As for me, I am not a Muslim, so although I would be happy to make some suggestions I don't think you would find them suitable. "
 
Sr. Fareeda: No thank you.
 
I am not in need of your suggestions already had plenty from non-muslims and tbh, I am tired of non-muslim advice 24/7.

====
 

====

 

Just because 'you' think I am sensitive doesn't mean it's true and hey, so what if I am? Hadrat Aisha was also very sensitive. Why are you bullying me is it because I am a woman? It seems you are all chavanists, you compare me with others and use other user names or your friends/spouses to harass, bully and intimidate me online!

 

How can you judge me in two days? Is this behaviour Islamic? Let Allah be the judge of me. I don't see anything wrong in what I said and why you all keep picking on my comments, it should be Ron whom you should be nagging, not me, he was being sarcastic when he made those comments, in case you don't undertsand sarcasm and put downs, please go to college to learn English and study hard.

 

And when are you going to actually answer the initial question in this thread? This is a discussion board and Islamic one at that! So what is your probblem, is it ENVY? Why don't you answer this?

 

Why are you bringing up a different topic in this thread without even posting the link?

 

Why don't you mind your own business? I don't want you to enter my threads only so that you attack me, so please keep out if you have no Islamic adab when responding to me.

 

Why are you posting hers and Ron's "half" message here? What is your point and intention by doing this?

 

I have given them my full response in the appropriate thread:

 

http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12374&PID=104007#104007 - http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12374&PID=104007#104007

 

Be objective and don't search for faults in other Muslims unnecessarily.

 

Please read everything before you intimidate and patronize me and don't lie pasting half messages from other topics and old disputes into new threads as this only creates disunity and fitna.

 

Wasalam

 

Re: Hadrat Aisha was also very sensitive.

 

 

 

As for Hadrat Aisha I mentioned her only because you were being patronizing and judgmental and have been picking on me accusing me of being sensistive etc. No woman can be better than the mother of the believers, what makes you think I think of myself better than her? 

 

What makes you think I have no self control? Do you think you can stop me from speaking the truth or posting when I wish, how much I want to, just because you don't like it and find it a sensitive issue?

 

Now look in the mirror. Before you started attacking me in the moderator thread and here, where and when have I accused you or Nausheen or Shasta Aunt of being sensitive? Look at my initial post, you only known me to post for two days and you are ready to fight. THIS IS WRONG - PERIOD Posting debasing responses from other threads issues that have got nothing to do with you, old disputes -THIS IS WRONG. It is unislamic and none of your business and you all are just condescending and full of hatred.

 

You have only come to this thread to enjoy attacking me with all the rest of the gang. You are simply a male chauvanist, bully with all the rest!

 

 

_________________________

 

 

Amazing welcome I found in this forum.

 

If any of you do not like my personality, then simply keep away from my discussions and allow Allah to be the Judge.

 

There is no compulsion in Islam!

 

Wasalam

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

May Allah help and guide us all.

 

Wassalam,