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Dear sister,
This is very sad. But perhaps in your heart you already know how to deal with this situation, and need courage. And perhaps is why you have come here.
It is not good for any husband,muslim or not, to manipulate his wife, and children. This is what he is doing. You are not his prisoner, or slave, to do as he demands, and getting a beating for what he says is disobedience, is totally wrong.
From what you say, he is at fault. You will not be able to change him. As a revert, your understanding of Islam could be better than his, if he is a born muslim. Perhaps that scares him a bit if his conscience pricks at him. He surely will know he is wrong with his actions. He could be jealous of your relationship with Allah, after all he obviously doesn't have the same relationship with Allah as you have. Or perhaps he is just a weak man, weak muslim.
If you have done all that is necessary as a wife in Islam, yet still he continues to behave this way, you should get out of this marriage. Your husbands behaviour is totally unacceptable. Allah will tell you if you have done enough with this marriage or not. He will, I am certain of this. I have my reasons for saying this.
You have your children to think about. Don't subject them to this. You must also think what is best for you. Is this situation best for you? Divorce does not mean you cannot have a future with a decent muslim husband. OK, so you have had 2 marriages. It doesnt mean anything. But your self esteem is perhaps rock bottom, and you are unable to see clearly.
Please pm me anytime. I understand what manipulation from another can do. It does the head in, big time doesnt it? Also I want to ask you some more questions if I may.
Take care,
Martha
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some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set
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