Recently a good friend came to me and asked me about fornication. She confessed to me that she had comitted the sin of fornication but had sincerely repented her sin and would now like to settle down and has found a man she would like to marry. However she wanted to know whether she would have to explain to her future husband about her past life or whether in this instance it would be ok for her to keep this a secret as she had repented her sin. She also knows that her future husband would not accept her if she has fornicated and she has told him of some sexual relationship that she has had in the past but has not completely been truthful. I did not have an answer to this question of hers so I would like to pose this question to everyone. Please do help a muslim sister who is in need of advice.

 

Jazakallah

 

 

Asalamalaikum

 

Hmmm tought call.

 

A husband generally doesnt ned to know about past relationships as it will create jealousy. If it occured befoe she was muslim, all sins were washed away when she became Muslim. If she has sincerely repented, than no one should hold it against her. If her husband is so willingly able to toss her aside dispite how she has grown as a person since then, is he good for her? How much trust can exist in a relationship if secrets must be kept? What is a marriage without trust? If he knew and decided to marry her would he hold it forever over her head or would he forgive her? Would she be willing to live with an unforgiving man?

 

Is it better to be married to someone who you can never be truely honest with and if he knew would never forgive you or is it better to tell him, let him leave, and wait for someone forgiving?

 

It is tough, she needs to make ishtikara.

 

maria

If he asks her directly about something, than maybe she shouldnt tell an outright lie, cz thats wrong - but no need to mention it of her own accord.

 

Also, socially speaking - it would be virtually impossible to find a spouse that accepts you, whilst knowing u are a fornicator, especially in the muslim world. Unless someone has truly repented, and the intended-spouse is God fearing, and lets it be. So, although sis Maria is right in her own way - its virtually impossible to find a spouse you can be truly honest with and who accepts you for all your faults. . . its natural and practical to not air all your secrets, and want to keep some to yourself, unless ofcourse, the secret harms someone.