husband not supporting financially
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13882
Printed Date: 21 November 2024 at 8:48pm
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Topic: husband not supporting financially
Posted By: FatimaQ
Subject: husband not supporting financially
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:59pm
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My husband is not fulfilling his duties as a husband and I'm wondering what to do. He is in India and I am in the US trying to get him a visa. He was working in the UAE and got himself in debt and is not returning to work as fear of what will happen to him if he doesn't pay. So now he is stuck in India and not working. He is not even trying or attempting to work and I had enough so today I told him not to speak to me until he is able to completely take on his responsibilities. I'm sure this was wrong of me to do but maybe it will push him to stop sitting around and start working. What are a women's rights if her husband doesn't take care of her. I just want to be a housewife and mother yet I'm forced to try to work to feed my son. What should I do??? Should I talk to my husband or give him a little time?? Any advice would be great. -Fatima |
Replies:
Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 9:23am
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Asalam Alaikum Fatima,
Sorry I did not see this... welcome to the Forum by the way.
As far as Islamically, he should support you. Of course making every attempt to work it out. On the other hand yopur obligation is to take care of your son.
Sadly the economy is having a negative effect. And if you add mismanagement of money by some, many families are affected.
The reality is for now, you may have to work-one has to eat. It certainly does not help the distance as it makes conversation difficult.
Are you thinking of divorce? Do you have family here?
Hayfa ------------- When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:12am
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It is a good possibility he is depressed. I don't know what type of work he does, but, I would assume the rate in India is much lower than UAE standards and far lower than American wages. Do you realistically expect that he could sustain your American expenses and lifestyle on an India salary? Maybe patience is in order here, and hopefully once he joins you in the USA, things will get better. How long do you anticipate the INS process to take? |
Posted By: Saladin
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:47am
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There're plenty of Indian youth earning enough to sustain plenty of 'happy hours'. And there're westerners in India now, working and earning in dollar$. But there're also plenty of Indians who're starving with some committing suicide due to xtreme poverty. India's a strange place. Some superpower they gonna be.
------------- 'Trust everyone but not the devil in them' |
Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:51am
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abuayisha wrote:Posted By: FatimaQ
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 1:55pm
| No I don't expect him to fully sustain my expenses. I was just thinking it would be nice if he tried to work to support his family. Look how many Indians are working hard every day? Do they make alot of money?? No but at least they are trying. I am talking to my husband and being as patient as I possibly can. We will hear back on his visa in 4 months. InshaAllah. |
Posted By: FatimaQ
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 2:03pm
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Wa alaikum salaam, No I am not thinking of divorce as of right now. If he doesn't get a visa then that may be the only option. I do have family here which are helping as much as they can. I am starting work next month and moving to another city. InshaAllah. It is hard living as a single mother when I'm not actually one. I think a father should work as hard as he can for his family. Just my opinion. |
Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 21 January 2009 at 12:06pm
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Asalaam Fatima,
I think everyone agrees he should be working hard... people should try and do the best they can. Is he a 'practicing' Muslim? It is so easy to get caught up in the Dunya.. and sometimes out of sight out of mind so to speak.. single parenthood IS hard and not recommended. My duas for you and your family.
Hayfa ------------- When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi |
Posted By: Imani
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 7:56am
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Salam alaikum fatima.
All that I can say to you is to have patience.
Allah's time is the best.
Have you ever asked if he is trying to get a jod to do and also how come he has a dept to pay.
Life is full of mistakes and it is up to you to help him realise them and solve them amicably.
He needs your support not redrawal at this moment.
This is the time for you to put yourselves togehter and come out successful.
You know your husband more than any one else on this forum so find accurate ways and means of solving the problem.
It doesnt matter is you are now the bride winner your blessing is from Allah.
I nearly forgot welcome to this forum!!!!!!! ------------- "But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7) peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM |
Posted By: BelieverInOne
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 2:47pm
Assalamu alaikum
I can understand your fustration but I am sure he is under enough pressure, try and be patient.
Can your husband contact where the debt is from and explain his situation and come to an agreement so he can pay in monthly instalments?
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 30 September 2009 at 11:39pm
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Salam, well sister you have not made it clear weather your husband doesnt want to wotk or he is in mental tension.if he is not getting any work he can go to the metros like mumbai and delhi and bnaglore and work in a call centre,they will definitly pay him 20,000 arround salary which is enough for a family to survive,
mean while once u get him a visa for U.S then your worries will be gone as no one wants to sit ideal in a foriegn country
Regards
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