It would seem that I am doomed.  When I ask Muslims what happened in my case, they label me as "close-minded" and "arrogant."

 

I have always held a belief in God.  I wasn't always sure of who He is, but I did always believe in God's existence.  It was as natural to me as being a heterosexual.  Sometimes I would have doubts, but never anything permanent.

 

Anyway, when I was at my lowest moment in life: broken and humbled--I sought God on my knees in tears.  He comforted me, and it was not long before I was actively searching to know more about Him in the religious scriptures.  I purchased a Quran and a copy of the Lost Scriptures (Gnostic and apocryphal writings), as well as a JPS Tanakh.  I already had an NIV Bible at home (what American doesn't?!)

 

Anyway, my eyes were "opened" when I read the gospels in the New Testament (despite having tried the Quran first.)  I had difficulty making it past surah 4, and my stomach had already turned queasy halfway through surah 2.  All of a sudden, the epistles of Paul (which had always  been so confusing to me) made sense.

 

And for the first time in my life, I understood what it meant to truly LOVE God.

 

So, I'm wondering what it was that happened to me if the Quran is supposed to be perfectly clear and a guidance to those who seek God?

 

 

This is what doesn't make sense.  Why should accepting "the truth" be contingent on whether it is the "right time for me"?  The Truth should ALWAYS be the Truth, whether it is convenient for me or not.  Islam should have been at its clearest when I was searching for the Truth and relying on God's help to guide me.

 

So what happened?

 

Was I misguided?  Did Allah purposely blind me?  I never explicitely denied Islam until AFTER this experience.  Now I deny it in its entirety.

 

So, has Allah sealed my heart?  How am I supposed to get it unsealed if I have been trusting in God throughout this entire spiritual journey?  Why would He do this to me when all I wanted was to know Him and believe in Him?

 

 

[Pickthal 2:53] And when We gave unto Moses the Scripture and the criterion (of right and wrong), that ye might be led aright.

When I read this, I figured the Scripture = the Torah.

 

When I read this, I figured that anyone who believes in one God,  judgment day, and does right will not be sent to hell.

[Pickthal 2:109] Many of the people of the Scripture long to make you disbelievers after your belief, through envy on their own account, after the truth hath become manifest unto them. Forgive and be indulgent (toward them) until Allah give command. Lo! Allah is Able to do all things.

This verse now makes it seem like most Christians and Jews are actually doing wrong by encouraging conversion to their religion...when the previous verses I mentioned makes it seem like their beliefs were okay to begin with.  (At this point in my first reading of the Quran, I started getting confused.)

[Pickthal 2:113] And the Jews say the Christians follow nothing (true), and the Christians say the Jews follow nothing (true); yet both are readers of the Scripture. Even thus speak those who know not. Allah will judge between them on the Day of Resurrection concerning that wherein they differ.

Now, at this point I knew something was up.  Both the Jews and the Christians follow the Tanakh.  The Jews do not say that the Christians follow nothing true, and the Christians do not say that the Jews follow nothing true.

 

[Pickthal 2:136] Say (O Muslims): We believe in Allah and that which is revealed unto us and that which was revealed unto Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the tribes, and that which Moses and Jesus received, and that which the prophets received from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and unto Him we have surrendered.

When I read this, I assumed that the Quran was now confirming the Torah.  I wasn't sure what was meant by "that which...Jesus received" since I had never heard of Jesus receiving anything.  However, I simply took this in stride since I was willing to be open-minded about anything regarding Jesus.

 

 

Okay, I felt a little queasy about this one.  Here God is actually sanctioning fighting.  I could understand the self-defense part.  But I didn't understand the "persecution is worse than slaughter" part.

 

[Pickthal 2:223] Your women are a tilth for you (to cultivate) so go to your tilth as ye will, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls, and fear Allah, and know that ye will (one day) meet Him. Give glad tidings to believers, (O Muhammad).

As a woman, I had a hard time accepting that I am a tilth for my husband to cultivate as he wants when he wants.

 

 

 

thanks for your reply and brief explaination of you reasoning behind your problems with Quranic verses translated in English.
My intial response is that you read those verses without understanding them in context.

That doesn't really make sense to me. I mean, I read all the verses in Surah 2...keeping them in order. I don't understand what other context is necessary if this is the perfect word of Allah. Why would he allow me to get confused in the 2nd Surah because I wasn't reading things in context when I didn't know there was an external context? Obviously, this proved to me that it would be impossible to be a Quran-only Muslim without applying my own personal feelings into the interpretation of the book.

 

Here is what I mean:
For 2:53 your figured it right, I don't see a problem with that because God has sent so many prophets since Adam, so many times God has revealed His words to them to deliver to humanity. Have you ever thought why? Why God needed to send guides and guidence so many times? And what make you think that God will teach a different messege/religion each time?

I don't really understand why God would need to do anything. I mean, why would the Creator of the Universe care? What's the point?

　

No, God has always sent the same messege in essence for humanity to be guided rightly into knowing their Creator and His plan for them.

Oh, I see. He has a plan. A plan for what? What purpose does it serve?

　

So Moses (pbuh) and what we know as Torah was in essence has the same messege as the Quran does or say the Injeel did when they were revealed by God to their respective prophets. The reason for repeated messengers and messeges could be nothing more than them being lost or altered creating the gap for messege needed to be sent again so all have a chance to benefit from a pure word of guidence.

Okay, now this doesn't really make sense to me. Why would God allow humans to mess things up for so long and allow those corruptions to lead millions astray, and then finally send His message to someone He knew wouldn't mess it up? I mean, He always knew those other people would mess it up...so why give it to them? What was the point?

But, I don't understand what is so impure about the previous scriptures. I mean, does the Tanakh teach people to follow other gods? Does it teach them to break God's Law (such as telling them to steal, murder, commit adultery, create idols, etc.)? And what about the New Testament? I mean, what is corrupted about it? It's just a compilation of ancient manuscripts that describe the beliefs of the earliest Christians. Obviously they would be the best authority to figure out what Christianity was truly about.

　

I have repeatedly said on this forum that the proof is in the pudding. I never thought that "the Bible" ever contradicted. This is before I even knew my own Quran, I had great respect for both. It was not until reading the Bible, all by myself and studying it that I found problems with some of its contents. Things that could not have come form God or could not be assiciated with God.

See, I feel the same way about the Quran. There are certain verses that I came across that made me KNOW it couldn't be from God. One of those verses is 4:24. I have a really hard time with that one. I also have a hard time with 4:34.

What makes a book "pure" to begin with? It doesn't make sense to me that God would just hand out books. God, the Creator of this vast universe with its mysteries like black holes and quantum physics...why send a mere book? Books can get burned, water damage, copied incorrectly, translated incorrectly, moth-eaten, etc.

Well, so what you are saying is that the Quran defines what is "right" and "wrong"? What if God guides my heart instead? Do I have to have a book? What if I was stranded on an island and got amnesia so I couldn't remember anything Islamic? What then?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

what you are asking are very common questions and even yourself can answer them by just giving some thought to things around you. Just be more observent and answer will appear. God has put that sense in all of us, to question, and then through logic and reasoning getting help to their answers.

Answering your first question simple, and like I said, if you just be abit thoughtfull, you will answer yourself.

Do you think the Creator of All is incapable of doing anyting? One who has fashioned a microscopic creature and assigned its position and function, the same who also Creats mega galaxies and assigns its destiny. I don't think that God has any limits or incapabilites.

Which means God very well could have led me away from Islam.

　

Your second question response:

Like I said if God had decided to give every individual direct revelation and guidence instead of prophets and book, God could have done that. But we see as an evidence that it is not the case. We see everyone following their own course, their own desires. One gets up, and says he is going to rule the world and that his race is super to others and God has appointed this race to rule of the eath. Then he kills and spreads his rule through brutality.

Do you know who that sounds like?

　

Now you tell me as you say that each one can be devinely guided, was this man directly recieving guidence from God.

Well, that's what he said.

The Holy Spirit is not a crystal ball or a pack of tarot cards, Hasan. The only ones who receive the Holy Spirit are those who repent and are born again.

　

On the other hand we see several claims of devine revelations and books. If we desire truth, and we set a high standard and priority to find it, we will find it. When you find that, you follow it, that's how you serve Him correctly, and serving Him correctly which by the way is to live this life with highest standards and with hamony with yourself and with what surrounds you is the purpose of life. And that addresses your third and fourth question.

Yeah, so how do you know which revelations and books are divine and which ones aren't?

　

Your last comment is rather innocent and out of touch with reality. A mother that gives you birth, feeds you and makes you capable of what you are today deserves the highest respect due to any human in your life, do you agree? A boss, for whom you work, who gives you a paycheck, so make a living off of that. You give due respect to your boss or your supervisor, otherwise you will be kicked out, rightly so. I hope those two real life examples clear it for you. That your Creator who has blessed you with life and so many blessings and favors that if you try to count you would not be able to don't deserve your thanks, respect, obedience and acknowledgement of Him being incharge of your fate?

Did God give birth to me? Does He feed me? Does He give me a paycheck?

　

For me denying Him of His rightful position is really the worst I can do that will bring a unstopable disaster for myself.

So, come to your senses, acknowledge your Creator as such, and serve your righful purpose and you will be sucessful.

Then why are so many Muslims living in poverty and terror (Iran, Pakistan, Sudan, etc.)?