I need help!! Relationships
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Category: Religion - Islam
Forum Name: Islam for non-Muslims
Forum Description: Non-Muslims can ask questions about Islam, discussion for the purpose of learning.
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Topic: I need help!! Relationships
Posted By: HasibA
Subject: I need help!! Relationships
Date Posted: 24 April 2010 at 10:55am
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Assalamu Alaykum, Brothers and sisters i have come across a big dilemma. in my school i know a girl - a non-muslim(christian to be precise), and i am sorry to say that though i care for Islam i do have little feelings for her. although i do want to get rid of these feelings.. but i have come to know she has stronger feelings for me. What must i do to abstain from these temptations, coz she is in all of my classes. can i convert her(which'll be easy) and marry her? need helpJazakhallah
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Replies:
Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 25 April 2010 at 9:27am
Pray salaat-e-haajat, and make dua to Allah to keep you steadfast in your deen & protect you from all sorts of tempations and fitnahs. I assume you are still pretty young, and probably not in a position to get married. . . I came across a dua today, which is very appropriate to people who are struggling with feelings for others, it is from a Tirmidhi Hadith. Am copying it from a book, so the translation may be a bit off. I hope it helps inshAllah: "Oh Allah, grant me Your love and the love of one who loves You, and the love of that which will draw me near to Your Love and make Your Love more dear to me than cool water." (Bukhari) (similar dua in Tirmidhi) another: " O Controller of the Hearts! Keep my heart firm in Your religion " and this one, should hopefully also adderess your current issue: "O Allah! I ask for a mercy from You by which You will guide my heart, settle my affairs, remove my worries, protect me from what is unseen to me, make my face radiant, purify my deeds, inspire me with wisdom, avert calamities from me, and protect me from every evil. " Hopefully inshAllah your problem is solved. Leave the rest in Allah's hands, you cannot control your feelings - but be mindful of your actions. ------------- "O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young." |
HasibA wrote:Posted By: I♥Jesus
Date Posted: 25 April 2010 at 2:05pm
| What is the problem? Wasn't one of Muhammad's wives a Christian? |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 25 April 2010 at 6:41pm
| Sounds like you have everything pretty much all figured out already, however it's difficult for us to give you advise without knowing you or the girl. What has your parents said about this? Muslim men are allowed to marry Christan women even if they don't convert, however there are conditions. They should be chaste, good women; having not had boyfriends, which puts most, if not all, out of reach. You mentioned you had "little" feelings for her, is this enough for marriage? Your concern about her being in all your classes and temptations; seems more of an infatuation and sexual tension, rather than a well thought out choice for a mate. A mate that you'll spend the rest of your life with, and one who will bear your children. Often unnecessary mixing, flirting, chatting and not lowering ones' gaze leads to our hearts being stricken, thus good judgment is thrown to the wind. Now you have an obsession and it will matter little what any of us say, but I'll say it anyway, hoping others will benefit. Draw close to your faith, fast a couple a times weekly, avoid superfluous mixing, and lower your gaze as much as you can. Once our hearts are affected in a manner which is unislamic/inappropriate, there is only pain and heartache to follow. Allah help you. |
Posted By: HasibA
Date Posted: 08 May 2010 at 2:37pm
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Jazakhallah for your posts, you have helped me a lot.
my problem wasn't her faith but just mere temptations..
just you know flirting and coming close together. i just needed help as i have heard a few of my friends had comitted zina, they told me they would never had guessed theyd commit it at first.
I just needed help as i would never consider myself in that position, but just incase i become weak. But praying salah hajat has strengthened my Eeman. My problem wasn't marrying a Christian though my parents would not approve of, maybe because my family is of pakistani origin and in some cases it is considered a big shame..
but yes jazakhallah for your comments once again and may allahs blessings be upon you all
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Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 08 May 2010 at 7:01pm
 
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