As Salaamu Aliakum,

I am a muslim sister who is stuck in understanding on how to choice my route in life. I do have faith in ALLAH(swt) So why is it so hard to deal with the fact that I am so lonely. I am very honest and will say that I have made major mistakes. My problem right now is that I have 3 children and they have different fathers. I thought I wanted to be with my most recent baby's, father. I AM SO STUCK! He did convert to Islam. I just cant get over the past things he has done to me. I know I should be married, but im not and cant change the fact that I have children out of wedlock. I also feel like I want to be with my first childs father. He is locked up. They both are muslim but the one locked up is more into studying Islam than the other one.

I just dont understand why I am so confused and why its so hard. I see my faith is not as strong as I would like it. I dont know what to do anymore... Please help! Inshaallah!

AlSalam 3alaikom,

I am sorry your going through all of that but don't think about the past if your really trying to change because you will go no where.Think about your future and ask Allah (swt) for forgiveness (Allah Is the Most forgiver) if it is really coming from your heart. About the guy you want to marry, you are the only person that can decide and know whats best for you. Inshallah Allah will guide you to the right decision.

Peace

Bismillah,

Salaamu Alaykum.  Change is difficult for everyone.  Don't believe them when they say it is not.  Maybe a very small percentage of people find change easy, or it is easy for awhile, and then there are times when they think about things they used to do that they like, and it becomes hard at that time.

Some people will say that your behavior is a lack of faith, and maybe that is true, but that doesn't make you not Muslim.  Islaam is about faith and following the guidance of Allah, SWT, as much as you are able as an individual.  Maybe people will judge our mistakes, but it is Allah, SWT's forgiveness, understanding, and guidance we seek.

I don't mean to be rude.  We can do without men if we really try.  Whatever reason you think you need one, are they going to fulfill this for you in reality, or is it a temporary promise of fulfillment, and then they don't live up to their promises?  You can be a good mom and muslimah without a man.  That's an all right thing to do also.

But if you keep one, it's easy to get married in Islaam.  Why not marry the one that YOU want since you seem to have a choice?  It's easy to seem like a good Muslim from prison, but will he really behave nicely when he is out?

You could just take your time and back away from this situation to give yourself room to make an Islaamic decision.  May Allah, SWT, guide you, sister.

herjihad wrote: I don't mean to be rude.  We can do without men if we really try.  Whatever reason you think you need one, are they going to fulfill this for you in reality, or is it a temporary promise of fulfillment, and then they don't live up to their promises?  You can be a good mom and muslimah without a man.  That's an all right thing to do also.

I somewhat agree, men aren't always the solution to your inner problems. maybe take time out from men and concentrate on yourself and the kids, taking a break can give you a fresh and new perspective on things, and maybe you'll figure out what you truly want also.

You could just take your time and back away from this situation to give yourself room to make an Islaamic decision.  May Allah, SWT, guide you, sister.

Good advice