marriage life
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22505
Printed Date: 22 November 2024 at 5:10pm
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Topic: marriage life
Posted By: niazuddin
Subject: marriage life
Date Posted: 18 January 2012 at 11:15pm
| Aslam alikum my marriage life is of 2.5 years old and havign a son of 14 month old before my son my marriage life was going on fine and full of happy and joy there is lot of love in between my house and my inlaws house.but after my son born my inlwas become totally change my wife dont keep my son to my house as she is working women she kept my son to her house whole day she dont keep my son with my parents for a single moment.For this my parent are very angry with her and one day my father blast on her.After then call her father to mnake her understand but they take away his daughter now they dont allow to come to my house and asking me to take another house and keep his daughter.I am the elder on and dont want to leave my parent in there oldage.Is there any solution for this problem i want she come back to my house and leave happily i dotn want to loose or hurt any one.I need my family back.kindly help me if there is any solution or any dua that bring my family back |
Replies:
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 19 January 2012 at 4:51pm
| A mother who has to leave her home and work will leave her child where she feels the child will be properly cared for. It is no surprise that she would prefer her own family. There should be enough time after work and on her days off from work for your family to bond with your son, otherwise you may want to allow her to stay home and not work. |
Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 24 January 2012 at 4:35pm
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Asslamu alaikum dear bro.
I think I know how ur parents really feel cos my parents used to feel the same when my sis n law leaves the baby with her family but I still agree with bro abuaisha that u guys need to understand that she would feel better to keep the baby with her family plus the mother side will not get bored or tired easily. As you mentioned also that ur parents are old so it might b hard for them to take care of a baby n ur son's age. My advice to u s that u try to explain to ur parents that ur wife doesn't want them to b tired n just want to help them to rest more n not worry of the baby when she s not around. Plus give ur parents enough time with ur baby n the weekends n other breaks n make them feel secure that the baby still belongs to them. And take my advice! Always keep ur problems between u n ur wife. Try not to involve parents or anyone else unless u really can't deal with it alone. I noticed something! When ur partner hurts u and u complain u can forgive him/her later but your family really can't. So keep thier love 4ur wife by always covering her mistakes and solve the issue between you guys. I hope I could help. Take care. My duaa for u -------------  And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Posted By: lady
Date Posted: 25 January 2012 at 11:21pm
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Assalamaoalaikum sister Fulll of hope. Your post was excellent when you said: :And take my advice! Always keep ur problems between u n ur wife. Try not to involve parents or anyone else unless u really can't deal with it alone. I noticed something! When ur partner hurts u and u complain u can forgive him/her later but your family really can't. So keep thier love 4ur wife by always covering her mistakes and solve the issue between you guys." |
Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 26 January 2012 at 6:15pm
Thank you sis Lady  yeah I believe it so bad n hope to stick to it. ------------- And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Posted By: niazuddin
Date Posted: 26 January 2012 at 10:29pm
| Thanks for your reply and suggestion.What my inlaws house want is they want to keep my son with them and bought up there only.and what i want is he is my son he should bought by me only for whom i am earning. |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 27 January 2012 at 7:16am
| Whatever happen to; 'it takes a village'....... |
Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 29 January 2012 at 8:27am
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Asalaam Alaikum, I think you should keep in mind your wife's relationships. Some in-laws- especially mother-in-laws are VERY pushy people. They do not respect the daughter-in-laws and treat them well. They order her about, be-little her, make her feel bad as she is not "family." YOU may not see it, or at all feel slighted. But she may very well be. Especially if the ONLY reason for her to be there is so they see their grandchild. Many husbands often expect the woman to put up with things as YOU want them to be. Instead of your father"blasting" her, YOU need to sit down and ask her why she dos not want to be over there. She, as a Muslim woman does not have to live with your family. You are responsible for your parents, she is not. She may not want to be there. Many women are like that. ------------- When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi |
Posted By: samirfaithful
Date Posted: 29 January 2012 at 9:04am
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essalam aleykoum Brother,
firstly let me remember u that the parent has a great valor in islam and our prophet ask to obei them alot so u should avoid to make them angry everytime if u live with them at the moment.
secondly, i dont see that event cause a big problem to ur parent ur wife prefer her parent to save her baby for her i dont think that can cause problem for ur parent they must understand her only.
in parrallel, she can do the same to her in-laws to if she is really kind person and understanding to in order to avoid to having bad pic in her inlaws thats it allah guid us all to be obedient
essalam aleykoum.
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Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 13 February 2012 at 3:31am
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As Salamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah
You have got good responses and great posts brother. All of them hold good suggestions to you. As you belong to the same nation am from, can understand your tough situation. Is it important for you to allow her go out for job ? If it's important for her to work, let her pick up your child, when she returns by evening. If it's not possible{ perhaps by distance of travelling }, choose to live separately. I understand that it's tough for you to live separately { India ki zaban mein ghar se alag honay ka matlab , rishta hi khatm karna hota hai, khwah kuch hi din keliye sahi }, try to live in a residence, closer to your house, so that you visit your parents daily and fulfill their obligations as well {gosht tarkari waghairah bhi laiye :) } . During both of your off-days, try to spend with your parents so that they play with your child. Parents from both side need to work out with tolerance for better life of their children instead of getting stubborn with their words. For this choose someone from your family { koi mamu ya chacha/ phupa } who can talk to your parents, and their parents as well. Kindly mind if you talk to them directly, it may not work. And make lots of duas. ------------- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent." |