i really need some answers regarding a muslim man...

i am a catholic and i do practice my faith...me and my muslim boyfriend (who also practices his faith) have been together for quite some time...we both love eachother deeply and are really happy...but i myself have a child out of wedlock, but he accepts this child of mine...but now he finally tells me that he was to have some sort of arranged marriage with a muslim woman (which was made by his parents long ago) in 2 years...he says he wants to be with me but he can't because his religion and family would not approve of this...might i add, he loves his family dearly, especially his mom, who he does not want to dissapoint...he teaches me about his religion and i enjoy learning about it and i also started to read the quran...i am just so lost in this whole situation, my time is also running out...does our love not matter in his religion and that he should be with someone who he does not love...please help me

you probably should seek advice from a marriage councelor

i will also assume that boyfreind means, a  relationship that does not mean sex outside marriage

no we are not having sex...we are strict about touching, i respect that enough about him not to be tempted in any way

First you need to check if there is an arranged marriage for real, or is it just a getaway lie to end this relationship just like I have done few years ago when I got feed up with my ex and wanted a peaceful break up  .  

say you love this prince very much and will do whatever it takes to marry him,  and he's being pushed over to this arranged marriage and there is no way out of it...I suggest he considers marring both of you just as simple as that. There is nothing in Islam that forbids marring a catholic woman nor having 2 wives at the same time.  like always I'd like to share this joke:  God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?"
Adam says, "Tell me the good news first."
God says, "I'm going to give you a penis and a brain. You'll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect."
Adam replies, "Wonderful! But what's the bad news?"
God says, "I'm only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time."

peace - rudy

Hi Grace, just go to the thread "Marriages with the people of the book", I'm certain that you will find what you are looking for.

Thomas.

rudy

how old are you son ?

you humor is childish and  lacks  (haya)(haya:politeness, respect,disincy)

ak_m_f.....impressive, you actually can count that far kid. I'm proud of you son.

ak_m_f wrote: rudy wrote: H discusted2 wrote: I think 13 - 15 years old

I think your "boyfriend" is shooting himself in the foot.  If he truly loves you does he honestly think these feelings are gonna disappear when he marries this new person.  If I were in your position Grace, I'd be very angry at him. 

You deserve better than that.  If my parents arranged a marriage with someone and I was in love with another, I'd tell my parents thanks but no thanks.  I'm not a big fan of arranged marriages but a lot of people have been made very happy by them, but if you can find love on your own I don't see the point of it. 

Technically speaking we are all Muslims and each religion or lack of it is a spiritual path to choose from and can be defined by the Word Islam or Life..

The bigger question in inter marriage whether race, cultural or riligious it is all of a spiritual nature and what needs to be looked at is how well the couple get along with each other, respect each other, their families etc.

There is practice of some men and women using members of the opposite or same sex as sex toys and then ending the relationship when they find Mr. or Miss Right.

I ask you why should anyone be a toy to used, though I admit there are times when you really need someone however given education on coping with sexual frustration and partial otr total abstance is key to being a little safer and surer you do not jump into a relationship just for sex or without really knowing the person first including yourself.

We all deserve to be loved and we need to make ourselves ready to love and be loved.

So when we do find the love of our life the love lasts.

Salam Alaikoam

Anne Marie Elderkin Habibi

Hmmmmmmmmm,

glad the age issue was resolved.

Alaikoam salam

I believe education is the key here in delaying sexual intamacy until a person has a haelthy relationship with themselves, others and the world where there is respect, however we can say all we wanmt and people may still decide for themselves, though I believe parents, care givers should guide young people well and have open lines of communication or at least a safe place ie counselor to consult with inshallah.

Anne Marie Elderkin Habibi

Bismillah,

Go to that link mentioned above.

It won't work out for you in any nice way with what you have described.  Whether Rudy's thought that it might be an excuse is right or not, either way, he is not the guy for you.  The only way it would work is if he made a stand for you right now of his own accord.  And knowing these guys, he won't. 

They don't understand that bravery can be exhibited in a situation like this.  They see it as disrespect for their families.  But then, who made him put himself in this situation?  He did.  He doesn't want to take responsibility.  He is a coward, and you don't need that.

Stop looking at the good things in him, and notice what a bad thing he is doing now, right now.  Be patient; don't despair; and seek Allah, SWT's guidance in all things.

Rudy,

You know that the older guys have to object to a post like that in the general section.  Please don't threaten people with manilla envelopes anymore!