Seeking Advice on Marriage
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=27181
Printed Date: 22 November 2024 at 12:50pm
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Topic: Seeking Advice on Marriage
Posted By: amushariq
Subject: Seeking Advice on Marriage
Date Posted: 15 December 2013 at 8:41am
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Salam, I am going to be married later in the year 2014. The problem is that I dont want to marry that girl as I am just doing it as per my parents wishes. I want to marry one another girl of my choice but my family denied it earlier as they say that her family is not upto our status . I know that girl since 2007 and still love her . she also wants to marry me and nobody else. Her family is agreed for that . Now I am in deep problem as the girl whom I love says that she will never ever marry in his life and live alone whole life.As far as I know her, she will do it definately . She is very ill and stopped eating anything ever since she heard that I am going to be married.She has damaged her kidneys due to this. On the other hand, The girl which I am currently engaged is also a very good girl and I dont want to hurt her as well . Her father was my dad's best friend and thus after his father passed away, my father decided to marry her with me.. I am in deep trouble as I know that I wont be able to love that girl even if I marry her. Please suggest me what shall I do now...What is the correct way of facing this problem in Islam as I just want to follow that. Thanks
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Replies:
Posted By: honeto
Date Posted: 16 December 2013 at 1:53pm
Salam,
this is such a difficult situation, and what I will say is going to be disliked by you and your parents as well. Both of you are wrong. You for fostering the romance before marriage to the point that there is no return or so hard to return, and your parents for forcing you into a marriage you do not want.
Of course forced marriages are not allowed in Islam. Both parties (bride and groom) must agree to it. So, if you are being forced, you have a choice to say no. And this is not disobeying your parents.
And then you can marry the girl you like.
May Allah help you and help us all.
Hasan
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The friends of God will certainly have nothing to fear, nor will they be grieved. Al Quran 10:62
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Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 16 December 2013 at 4:42pm
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Have you made istikhara? I think the girl you "love" should respect your family's wishes, and not act in such a way that damages her health. It is Allah who puts love into the hearts after marriage, so if the girl your family desires you to marry is a very good girl, insha'Allah you will love her as your relationship develops. Part of having a successful marriage is having family support, which would clearly be lacking if you marry below your "status". Your parents will dislike her and her parents, and this will likely only cause marital problems between the two of you. You can't be forced to marry, however you must use good judgement and respect the wise advise of your parents.
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Posted By: twix444
Date Posted: 20 December 2013 at 12:42pm
Askm,
There is a hadith regarding ppl who love each other should get married,i don't know the hadith properly,check it on internet and then try to convince your parents,Inshallah it will work, seriously :)
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Posted By: herber345
Date Posted: 21 December 2013 at 2:17am
you should convince your parent. You can also talk to other girl and say her that you love someone else and you can't marry with her. Ask her for help and it has worked in many cases.
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