Need advice..pls
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Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups : Women (Sisters)
Forum Description: Groups : Women (Sisters)
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=27814
Printed Date: 02 December 2024 at 5:11pm
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Topic: Need advice..pls
Posted By: Dena2014
Subject: Need advice..pls
Date Posted: 09 February 2014 at 6:29pm
I'm 30 and my husband is 31 yrs old.. We've Been married for 10 years now and we were engaged for 6 years before marriage..so in total Iv known him for 16 yrs alhamdulilah.
During our engagement he was very controlling and demanded respect with full responsibility, I accepted and didn't mind. I loved him enough to do exactly as he wanted.. He would shout on occasions and squeeze my arms while holding me on the wall but he never beat me or bruise me.. After mariage he changed, he controlled nearly everything except toilet and food, but everything else was his to control, even sleeping.
I still loved him and didn't let it bother me too much, but for 4 years now his become voilent.. I'm not disobedient, I obbey, respect, honor him, serve him and never answer back or refuse his demands. But he still beats me.. His tall, strong and big enough for other men to run away from, n I'm nothing compared to him, I'm scared and confused. I love him and pray Allah will make it easy for me inshallah.
Yesterday I was watching eastenders, I'm not allowed but I did in secret, he came home earlier then I thought and he saw me, he lifted me up then through me on the floor twice, punched me and kicked me all over, he would usually stop but this time he kept beating me until I couldn't move or even cry. He took the t.v out of the house for punishment. I'm still hurting and I don't know what else to do.
On top of it all he has sex with me and I'm completely weak and bruised. I need advice on how I can be a better wife, and how can I stop this voilence that is happening more now and it's harder.
Thank u for reading, il update soon, his coming to bed. Can't write more, Salam
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Replies:
Posted By: repent15
Date Posted: 16 February 2014 at 9:42pm
Assalamu Alaikum,
May Allah make things easy for you and give you the wisdom to deal with the situation you are in.
For a man to beat his honourable Muslim wife is a sad thing I don't wish for any sister. Have you tried being vocal with him as to why he feels the need to hit you? Have you tried advising him from an Islamic point of view as the steps a husband should follow if his wife is doing something he dislikes?
Give him reminders from the Quran and Sunnah about kind treatment between spouses, on how he is the maintainer and support that Allah has put in charge as a protection!and if you have children ask him, is this how you treat the mother of your children?
Dua is the most powerful weapon, wake just before fajr and pray qiyam.
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Posted By: lady
Date Posted: 18 February 2014 at 12:06pm
Salaam sister. Ask yourself what will you tell your daughter if you had one or have one. And then take that advice for yourself.
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Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 04 March 2014 at 2:20pm
That is very sad and upsetting sister.
If you my blood-sister was going through this ordeal (God Forbid) I would have my family intervene and 'fix' things. I would advise my own sister to leave such an abusive and horrible man.
When a marriage becomes so unbearable and there is no love and respect, what's the point? Compromises are done on little things, not when it come s to physical abuse!!!
May Allah find a way out for you and ease your situation. Ameen.
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Posted By: Aruba
Date Posted: 21 April 2014 at 7:46am
I pray that the relationship between you and ur husband gets better.. i PRAY that ALLAH grants u both lots of love and happiness Ameen,
Sister, you really need to your husband and tell him that you are in pain and he cannot treat you like that... and pray to ALLAH a lot to help you with this situation ,, do a lot of dua.. In sha Allah things will get better
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Posted By: Farha14
Date Posted: 31 May 2014 at 11:17pm
sister,
All I can suggest u is let both ur families(ur and in - laws) intervene into the matter and decide its nowhere in Quran that wyf should bear such behaviour and still want to improve herself.
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