Assalamu alaikum,

"We have decreed Death to be your common lot, and We are not to be frustrated - From changing your Forms and creating you (again) in (forms) that ye know not."  Qur'an 56:60-61

"Every soul shall have a taste of death: in the end to Us shall ye be brought back."  Qur'an 29:57

"But to no soul will Allah grant respite when the time appointed (for it) has come; and Allah is well acquainted with (all) that ye do."  Qur'an 63:11

"Every soul shall have a taste of death: and only on the Day of Judgement shall you be paid your full recompense.  Only he who is saved far from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have attained the object of (this Life): for the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception."  Qur'an 3:185

From Sahih Bukhari (77:599), reported by Usama:  "Once while I was with the Prophet and Sa'd, Ubai bin Ka'b and Mu'adh were also sitting with him, there came to him a messenger from one of his daughters telling him that her child was on the verge of death.  The Prophet told the messenger to tell her, "It is for Allah what He takes, and it is for Allah what He gives, and everything has its fixed time (limit).  So (she should) be patient and look for Allah's reward."

Part One:

It is my understanding that Muslims believe that the moment of our death is pre-ordained by Allah when we are still in our mother's womb.  We are not able to delay our death, nor can we hasten it at all.  This destiny ordained by Allah is called al-qadar, Divine Will.

It is also my understanding that pre-pubescent children who die will be spared the torment of the grave (they will have a pleasant wait for the Judgement Day), and that they will be spared the horror of the Judgement Day.  These innocents will be admitted into the Paradise without the torment and horror the rest must endure.

As well, Allah tells us in the Qur'an that the life of this world is nothing but a trial, an opportunity to worship Him, do good deeds and show that we are worthy of the Paradise by pleasing Him. 

The above three points lead me to conclude that, while this life is a gift from Allah, and we should be thankful for it and use this gift correctly, death must certainly be a Mercy from Allah, an end to our trials and tribulations of this life.

  Are you following so far?  Now....

It does astound me, then, the attitude that many (most) Muslims seem to have concerning death.  Firstly, they seem so shocked when someone dies.  How is it that one is surprised and shocked by something one knows is inevitable for all?

Secondly, they are so consumed with grief and sadness when someone dies - why?  Certainly a loved one would be missed, but, shouldn't we be happy for those who have been released from this life?  Isn't death the ultimate climax to life?

Most especially when a child dies - we know they have gained the Paradise!  Shouldn't this fill our hearts with the deepest joy and gratefulness to Allah?  He has granted the child freedom from the trial of this life and given them the reward of the Paradise.

  Feeling like this by now?  Bear with me....

Shouldn't the death of someone be greeted by the still living with much thankfulness to Allah for the Mercy of their release from this life?  Shouldn't we be happy for the deceased, or at the very least, at peace with the fact that they've completed the life of this world (and so shall we all)?

When we know, of a surety, that there is an afterlife, that death is not the end but the beginning of an eternity...when we know that the life of this world is nothing but a trial, an enjoyment of self-delusion***...why is it that so many loathe death and are frightened of it?  Why are so many saddened when someone dies?

Is it a weakness of faith?

(*** Qur'an - 76:2-3, 2:155-157, 3:185-186, 29:64, 57:20, 87:16, 4:77, 8:28, 11:15-16, 15:1-3, 18:7, 21:35.....)

Part Two:

Since we cannot hasten nor delay our pre-ordained hour of death, does it not make sense that no matter how a person dies (illness, accident, old age, by their own hand...), they were meant to die exactly then, and would have died by some means regardless - because it was their time?

So, why do we get so upset at disease, natural disasters, famine, and so on?  Aren't these all just the means to an end - a way for those whose time is up to expire?  We all must die.  We all must die of something!

Death, the Merciful release from this life, should be looked upon with gratitude and peace in our hearts.  Yes, a touch of sadness for the one you will miss, but, be happy for them, their trials in this life are over!

Peace, ummziba (who worked for hours and hours on this piece  )

The above three points lead me to conclude that, while this life is a gift from Allah, and we should be thankful for it and use this gift correctly, death must certainly be a Mercy from Allah, an end to our trials and tribulations of this life.

Let me re-touch it; This life is a gift from Allah(swt) ONLY if we are thankful for it.

Same for the Death; Death is a mercy for believers(only).It is something like the invigilator asking us to leave the classroom after the board exams!While some students are happy, since they know that they have done well, others are sad, knowing that on the result day they are going to fail.

May Allah(swt) guide us in the correct path.Ameen.

Rest of the comments I agree.But we can only be happy when some great person die..that is, we are sure that a particular person is going in heaven-which alas, we can never be.

Regards, Dayem.

Assalamu alaikum,

Thank you for clarifying things on this issue Dayem and Abuayisha.  I understand that it is fine to cry and be sad to a certain extent. 

What I don't understand is why so many wail and hit themselves and scream and carry on so when someone they know dies.  Nor do I understand the totally negative attitude that most have towards death (even to the point of loathing it, fearing it, hating it).

Peace, ummziba.

Bismillah,

Umzibba, you would have liked to be around my mother-in-law.  She was very ill, and tried hard to listen to what the doctors told her to be well.

But she, and many others I have seen like her, would say, and this is a translation:  Oh, My Sweetheart Allah,  I am ready for you to take me home.  And to us:  Isn't it better for me to die and go to Allah?

For some of us it is the opposite of the people you mention.  It is hard to hold onto the details of this life, to be patient until that undisclosed hour of our deaths.

"What I don't understand is why so many wail and hit themselves and scream and carry on so when someone they know dies"

It's a cultural thing amongst the women.  If they don't wail, the relatives of the dead will be insulted and very angry.   So, they make sure to add lots of drama.   I've been to plenty of bikas where women could be heard 10 houses down.   It will take lots of time before such customs are forgotten.

Salaam

Assalamu alaikum,

Herjihad, your mother in law sounds like she was a real gem!  Would that more had that attitude.

Abeer, for sure culture is a huge influence on some (I understand that Italians also wail at funerals, and consider it so important, they even pay women to come and wail if they are short on wailing relatives!!!).  If only people's faith would be stronger than their desire to follow culture.

May Allah grant the Muslimeen courage and strength to follow their deen instead of their cultural practices!

Peace, ummziba.