Betrayal in marriage
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33037
Printed Date: 22 November 2024 at 6:26am
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Topic: Betrayal in marriage
Posted By: Farrii1
Subject: Betrayal in marriage
Date Posted: 08 February 2015 at 10:22pm
I'm 27yo alhumdullillah
When I was 16 2005 I met my soul mate. He was only a year older than me. It was like love at first sight. As soon as he started seeing me he used to always be like your beautiful the best thing in my life etc. everything was great. In 2008. I started hearing rumours that he's cheating on me and me being st**id I tried taking my life because I have all my trust to this 1man. But alhumdullillah I recovered and he assured me that it was all lies and we carried on. But it scarred me for life. So I started practising my religion Islam in 2011 started becoming closer to Allah swt. I realised I would get too many compliments from men of my hair so I decided to observe the hijab alhumdullillah. So I asked kaisar that we should get a nikaah done . Every time he refused I said we shouldn't be together. And he would go crazy and beg for me back. I wasn't that 19yo girl tryna take my life no more I was a strong servant of Allah swt. He realised this so we got engaged and set a date for the wedding. In this time he was going on holidays etc I didn't mind as he always said I'm with friends I was no one to question his whereabouts. He didn't used to like taking me anywhere because of my hijab I started realising but I ignored this. In August 2014 my mum said to me that she's hearing that kaisar is a drug dealer and up to no good I said it's all lies and when I asked him he would look at me in the eye and tell me it's lies. So he said we should get nikaah done we set a date 1st October 2014. My mum refused to come to my wedding and I still went ahead and married him. Things started changing the man that I loved and knew wasn't there he would leave me alone every night and be back in the morning. I questioned him 1 day and he hit me and put a knife to my throat. This is the guy I knew for 10 years. I was disappointed and scared he apologised I forgave him. I then discovered something that would change my life forever . He was selling drugs and got arrested in 2nd December 2014. He was looking at a long sentence of 14years. I prayed every night to my lord. Went to all the courts and stood side by side to him. He would tell me I'm his life and how he can't live without me there. He got away with just 2 years of which he will only do 8-9 months for . Then when I started seeing him on visits I realised his visits would be pre booked by a girl named Zara. I asked him and he said its a friend . I found out that this friend was his girl friend of 3 years and when I called her she knew nothing about our marriage. She told me he took her on holidays he see her every night while he left me alone. She's 21yo
I asked him what was going on im his wife. And he replied saying she's his everything. He told this girl how I forced him to marry me and that I black mailed him that I would kill myself. I told her it's all lies but she believed him. Today 2months on I'm finding it very hard to forget. This betrayal has killed every bit of love and trust I had for anyone.
He made me go against my whole family and friends.
I got so close to his family. And today I'm alone scared to involve my family as my family would just take me away.
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Replies:
Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 09 February 2015 at 9:34pm
Dear Farrii,
Am sorry to learn about your piece.
I can understand you must be going through a lot of emotional pain and turmoil at the moment.
Have faith in Allah, hold fast to His religion and inshAllah you will sail through.
In my opinion, you should go to the nearest mosque, and tell the whole story to the imaam. Ask him to manage a khula for you.
Your husband is not just a drug dealer, he has committed adultry, infedility and even tried to hurt you physically. You should try and get out of this relationship as soon as possible. Besides, get yourself checked for AIDS and other STDs as well.
If this is difficult for you, I can understand, but you are very young to continue in this mess. Get out and get a life!
I dont know about your financial situation. Either go back to your parents, plead and apologise, and ask them to help ad support you. If they are still angry with you and do not want to accept you right now, and you do not have a choice, then seek welfare support in your community.
And dear, you might suffer from depression, so stay close to Allah and be strong. Life is like flowing water, everything passes, this will also pass. Thank Allah that He opened your eyes so quickly.
Keep posting!
May Allah be your Hadi, ameen.
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR]
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Posted By: Farrii1
Date Posted: 09 February 2015 at 10:57pm
Sa sister. J'z'k for replying to me . I really am feeling extremely lost and broken. Feeling suicidal but my Lord is making me strong. He has lied so much to his family and people around him that I had forced him into this relationship. His young girlfriend is sweating to me non stop may Allah swt guide her. I am feeling weak in myself. I can not go back home as mum will not accept thi. I am going to move away in July so he can not find me.
Everything is a real mess at this time but I am being strong. I can't eat it's been almost over a week.
His mother is not giving me my nikaah papers. And I do not know how to get hold of them
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Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 10 February 2015 at 7:12pm
Dear Farrii,
Walaikum assalam wa rahamtullah,
Waiyyaki!
You need to tell someone the whole story. You should not be taking all of this alone.
Go to a mosque and tell the Imam. If he does not help go to local authorities, a lawyer, a social worker, police, helpline or anyone else who can asssit you.
Not having any appetite is a sign of depression. Don't let it settle in. You need to keep strong so you can swim upward.
For your nikkah papers, you will need a lawyer, if they holding it from you.
Don't move away before a divorce. You will have to clean this mess in order to move on in life, and for that you need to legally separate from this man.
Keep your trust in Allah and make lots of dua.
May Allah be your Hadi, ameen.
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR]
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Posted By: Farrii1
Date Posted: 13 February 2015 at 4:15am
Sa
He is inside prison and he has been spreading rumours about me that I was the wrong one and I had flaws wtc. He is pushing me so much to suicide. I really don't know what to do. I can not move until the 30th of July. And he is making it so difficult for me to move on. I really don't know what I'm doing or going to do. Really feel down and lost. I still can't eat my meals I'm getting worse with my appetite. I am scared my family will find out and keep me here.
I cannot bear to be close to this man. I
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Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 16 February 2015 at 8:26pm
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah.
see a mental health practicioner for help.
Again I would urge you to get in touch with people. Try not to be alone.
You have been strong and courageous enough to come online, find islamicity.com and sign in and post your story. It was not easy for anyone in your circumstance.
In the same way, be strong and seek help from the real world. Trust me, you need to do this!
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR]
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