Seeking guidance, advice and recommendations
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Topic: Seeking guidance, advice and recommendations
Posted By: Jdl1976
Subject: Seeking guidance, advice and recommendations
Date Posted: 29 April 2015 at 4:41pm
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Assalaamu �laykum
Dear fellow Muslims, Thank you very much for allowing me on the forum. My name is J. and am 38 years young, I converted to Islam in the end of 2014, I experienced a troublesome marriage and am currently in the divorce process. I fell in Love with a very nice person, a great Muslima from North African descent and born and raised in France. She provided a welcoming and very peaceful home where we both resided. Has the same strong family, loyalty and support values I admire and thought I had as well. She and I came to the discovery (with assistance from our Imam) that black magic was performed on me, most likely by my estranged wife to keep me with her and maybe even some former employees/coworkers. There were things happening that were not normal, nor explainable. With the help of our Imam, they performed Ruqyah on me which as of today is still going on due to certain guidance I have received from the Mosque. In the beginning the Ruqyah was very difficult, made me cry loudly, made me sick, I have experienced lots of health issues, continuous diarrhea, vomiting, ulcers, broken bones, skin infections, high blood glucose, high and abnormal blood values, etc. etc. etc. During the time I became closer her, I felt so in Love, however during our time together I have made serious mistakes and lied to her for no specific reason or not always disclosed certain difficulties I was facing. She has been nothing but good to me, if it was not for her, I would have never discovered what was going on, I owe her a lot as well as I owe my life to Allah and seeking for forgiveness for all the bad I have done. My girlfriend is however very outspoken and sometimes that has caused extreme uncertainty in me. I really felt she was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Then in the final months of 2014 my mom became seriously ill, I had to travel oversees to see her twice and support her, my mother was also very adamant to fix the relation with my estranged wife, then in January she was taken into the Hospital again, and was unconscious she remained in the ICU for a few days and was then moved to a normal room, all this time the Doctors had no idea what was wrong with her and what made her feel like this. When my mother was able to talk again, I spoke to her and she asked me to please go my previous home, I did and tried to make things better with my estranged wife, to attend to my mothers wishes and hopes for her to become better. I spend a very short time with her, in which she became pregnant, we then separated again, I signed the house and some other things over into her name, as I wanted to start with a clean slate and tried to make things work between my girlfriend and I, I refrained from telling her what happened until better times came around for us. She read some emails where I talk friendly with my wife and found out she is pregnant. I did always wanted to divorce on amicable terms as I have a son as well, which I have not seen much due to all these issues going on. I am looking for guidance on how to become a better Muslim and person, I want to be the best I can be. I did the Shahada, got circumcised, lost my son and wife and nearly my business and am still deeply in Love with my Girlfriend. She often made derogatory remarks towards me, which I deserved but they hurt, she said that I became a Muslim was a lie and that I used that against her, this is absolutely not true. I want nothing but the best for her and be with her indefinitely. I have lied and that is inexcusable. I have been learning about Islam on the forums and Internet and that has caused some difficulties between us too, I have been praying three times daily, makee duah eat halal, I am still in the beginning phases of my learning experiences, have ordered a Qu'ran and promised myself that I will read it and learn about Islam. I am not looking for any excuses but need some guidance how to become a better person towards Allah and mainly to her and the people around me. I apologize for using the letter 'I' many times in this letter, it is not about me it is more so about her and how we can fix our relationship for the better. Thank you very much for your time and reading this article, I am welcoming all responses and advices. Need help. Hasbi Allah |
Replies:
Posted By: zliya
Date Posted: 28 June 2015 at 11:31am
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Salams.
You are really in a tough situation. However, I am happy to see that you are still trying to be a good Muslim and are trying to change yourself for the better. If whatever I say seems wrong to anyone then by all means intervene and correct me. I am just going to say what my heart feels at the moment. I think you should definitely come clean with your girlfriend about everything you did while away. This will seem like you are trusting her. I think in order to begin a fresh new life with your girlfriend, you should talk to her and try to work out the problems that you both are currently facing. Listen to her side and try to also understand where she is coming from. Let her know that the words she threw at you hurt and somehow make her trust you and that you will become a better person for her and for this relationship. The best to fix any problems with your girlfriend is to communicate. Communicating is key to any relationship to prosper. Give her your time when she needs it. The prophet Muhammed (Peace be upon him) was the most busiest person than all of us. He was given a great responsibility that to this day he still carries. On top of that, he had 9 wives. It is said that he would always take time everyday to meet with his wives and give his time and full attention to them even if for a few minutes and just listen to what they have to say. As for being a better person, no matter what I say know that it will be all up to you and your efforts. Sure praying as many times you can and learning about Islam is all good but keep in mind that to be a better person means to be a better person in mind, body, soul, and spiritually. Pray to Allah and make Dua asking him to guide you. When you pray and are going into sujood, stay awhile in that position and ask Dua because that is when you are the closest to Allah. Do this everyday if you can and Insha Allah, everything will be better. If it is possible, then try to surround yourselves with other Brothers who can show you the right path and teach you Islam. I hope my advice has been somewhat helpful and I wish you all the best. May Allah guide and help you. |
Posted By: semar
Date Posted: 29 June 2015 at 1:04am
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Salam,
There is not such thing call black magic, so don't blame on it.
Just ask Allah for help by doing qiyamul lail (night prayer) and try to be solve the issue by finding the "visible" root cause, not the unseen stuff (magic etc).
May Alalh guide and bless you both. Amiin. ------------- Salam/Peace, Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air" |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 29 June 2015 at 11:35am
http://islamqa.info/en/68814 |
semar wrote: