Is the Jealousy all in my head?
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Forum Name: Groups : Women (Sisters)
Forum Description: Groups : Women (Sisters)
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Topic: Is the Jealousy all in my head?
Posted By: sa.sa
Subject: Is the Jealousy all in my head?
Date Posted: 27 August 2015 at 3:03am
Salaamualaykum sisters,
I have an issue that I am not sure needs to be properly addressed with my husband or whether I am working myself up. Sorry, this will be a long post, as I want a subjective but islamic view point on the topic, ill try to include as much details as possible.
My husband and I have been married for 5 years. A marriage with ups and down but on the whole a happy and fulfilling one.
We married quite young and over the course of the years we have seen friends come and go. However there is one childhood friend in particular of my husbands that I cannot shake an uneasy feeling.
They both went to school together and were good friends, from what I can tell over the years they were friends she developed feelings for him, which at first were not reciprocated by my husband, then a few years later I think she earned a soft spot in his heart and he developed a crush on her. However because of my husbands faith and other reasons, nothing happened between them other than emotional feelings. They went separate ways and their feelings were diminished.
They had contact on and off but it was nothing more than just normal talk between friends.
This was years before we met and got married, as they were childhood friends.
Recently however they see to have reconnected via whatsapp talking every so often. I have sent he messages and I am glad to say nothing inappropriate has been said, no kisses or anything like that have been sent. It's a normal relationship, he is happy and open to show me messages, he has nothing to hide.
The thing that gets to me however is that out of all the friends that have come and gone, why does it have to be her that he reconnects with? Even after losing his phone and all contact details he emailed her asking for her number.
They have met once recently however that was chaperoned by her partner so they were not alone.
I have discussed this with him before saying im not comfortable etc and that I'm jealous, he understanding and said that there is noting to be jealous of because nothing happened in the past between them.
Even so, doesnt emotional feelings towards each other count as something?
Because my husband has nothing to hide I fell like such a terrible wife as internally I am letting my jealousy get out of control. REcently I have been secretly going through the messages and I feel I am letting these whispers of jealousy corrupt me.
Am I right to feel this way? I dont feel comfortable the talking to one another, is it out of line to ask once and for all to stop communication?
Thank you.
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Replies:
Posted By: semar
Date Posted: 31 August 2015 at 12:21pm
Salam,
You need to tell him about your feeling that you don't like he continue to have conversation with her.
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Salam/Peace,
Semar
"We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH)
"1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 02 September 2015 at 8:31am
Wa Alaikum Asalaam
If your husband is a practicing Muslim then he must know that a relationship with another woman is wrong. No matter if they grew up together or not.
Jealousy is a real human emotion and sometimes we need it to protect ourselves.
Be honest with him and tell him openly that you are not comfortable nor happy with his 'friendship' with his childhood friend.
A husband do not need any female friends when he has a wife.
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La Ilaha IllAllah
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