Found out sister committed zina
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Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35297
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Topic: Found out sister committed zina
Posted By: stargirl786
Subject: Found out sister committed zina
Date Posted: 04 January 2016 at 10:08pm
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Asak,
I do not have many words to say, and I feel very nu?-frecently found text msgs on my sisters phone that showed me she had sex multiple times with an older man. I do not know who he is, but that he is married. Im extremely scared right now because I never ever in a,billion years thought that could happen. My older sis is 19 and I am 18, she is unmarried as well. She chats and calls a lot of boys in highschool and I tried to stop her, but they were usualy overseas indians and pakistanis, and we live in Canada. So I kind of forgot about it. I cannot tell my,parents because my dad is a heart patient and im fearing for his health. What would be the best course of action... im thinking to sit down and talk ti her... usually she just ignores me though. Help please :( 
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Replies:
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 05 January 2016 at 5:32am
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Asak?
Asalaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa barakatuhu First of all you got this information by reading her text behind her back so be careful what you say to her. I think you should talk to her in a nice way and tell her that you overheard her talking to her lover ( another lie but I think this is way better than telling her that you read her text messages). Also remember that you cannot control her as she is older than you and she may belittle you in that respect but just tell he what she is doing is wrong and to stop it. You can also advise her that she can do what she likes with her life once she leaves home and is independent but as she is living with her parents tell her to show some respect towards them. The really bad thing about this is that you cannot do anything about this as she is now an adult, but you can tell her what is right and what is wrong and In Shaa Allah she will come round and stop what she is doing. ------------- La Ilaha IllAllah |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 05 January 2016 at 5:37am
| wa alaikum salaam, and welcome Stargirl! I would assume that your sister's phone and her communications are a private matter, unless you both share this phone, or she has given you password access. Perhaps what you have read in these messages do not indicate what you think. |
Posted By: stargirl786
Date Posted: 05 January 2016 at 8:20am
| Thank you for your reply but I am 100%sure. I do not want to post what it said. I know for sure that it happened. |
Posted By: NABA
Date Posted: 06 January 2016 at 5:50am
| Recite some verses of Quran to bring fear of Allah in her such as Allah in ch 17 v 32 of Quran forbids adultery and fornication. |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 07 January 2016 at 6:40am
Certainty would require having witnessed the occurrence, therefore you should make excuses to protect your sister's dignity for what you have read, and do not seek to uncover the faults of others. |
stargirl786 wrote:Posted By: stargirl786
Date Posted: 07 January 2016 at 11:08am
| Thank you. I will be looking for the pages where it states the punishments of fornication. |
Posted By: stargirl786
Date Posted: 07 January 2016 at 11:11am
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ABUAYISHA:
I hope you know that if I did not look at those messages this would be continuously going on. The chatting, calling and the meetups. I believe Allah gave me this information so that I could do something about it. In addition, I did not want to overload with details, but she screenshot a lot of pages about birth control, and signs of pregnancy. Also, she wrote a little online text document stating when and what she had done. I do not wish to use this information against her, I want her to understand that this is a sin and it is hurting her. That is the problem because we have the worst relationship. |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 08 January 2016 at 7:32am
| All of our lives are filled with sins and indiscretions, many of which, hopefully, we get over, and go on to live as piously as humanly possible. Thankfully, Allah keeps most of these transgressions secret from people. When a person sins in the open this becomes another matter, that requires our careful and gentle reminders. |
Posted By: Saleha_Kh
Date Posted: 16 January 2016 at 7:07am
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Asalamoaalikum sister,
There is a reason Islam forbids us to be in quest of knowing others' secrets. You should not have done that. Now that you have done so. Please try and see if your sister wants tog et married with someone. Perhaps she has more desires. Perhaps she is frustrated. Find out a solution and facilitate her into finding a halal solution, that is marriage. Or hint to your parents about her marriage to someone she loves/likes. |
Posted By: AhmadJoyia
Date Posted: 01 February 2016 at 10:22am
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Posted By: stargirl786
Date Posted: 01 February 2016 at 7:14pm
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Saleha_KH:
Wa alaikum salaam. She does not wish to get married to these people; and it was multiple people she is talking to or sexting. Recently one of them has threatened to leak her nude pictures. We are really in a bad situation. He has contacted me and told me that my sis has stopped talking to him, so she better continue or else he will post her pics on a fake facebook account he created (& blocked me on). I personally do not think it is a Sin- I did not do it with the intention to embarrass her, only to help her. Also; if I had not gone and tried to figure out about her situation she would have NEVER in a million years told me. In fact the guy was THIS close to posting the pics if he hadn't gotten in contact with me because he wasn't getting any responses from my sister. So marriage is not the issue. |
Posted By: AhmadJoyia
Date Posted: 04 March 2016 at 1:10pm
| I guess she is an adult and therefore responsible for all her actions in this life and in hereafter as well. You may leave her alone. However, if you want to help your elder sis, first of all earnestly pray for her. Secondly, you may like to inform your mom about it and then let her take decisions about the situations, because being younger sis, you may not exercise much influence over her. So, let your mom handle the situation. |
Posted By: herbamuslim
Date Posted: 17 June 2016 at 1:29am
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Assalaamu'alaikum
Sister, even if the manner in which you have obtained evidence is blameworthy - you can't NOT do anything about the evidences you've discovered (if they are credible and not purely opinionated or out of context). My suggestion is to first have your own personal intervention with her, but to do this you would have to first introspect on your intention. Do you truly love her and desire for her what you desire for yourself? be sure you do not remotely have any intention to prove yourself better than her or to ridicule or demean her. Sit her down, shed real tears and explain how wrong it was for you to have done what you did... but at the same time what you have seen... and that you are breaking up on the inside because of it. Explain to her that the only reason you haven't told your parents is because you wanted to first discuss with her... and that you want to help her stop what she is doing without burdening anyone else with the matter. explain to her that at the end of the day... your parents would not be there forever and that you would like for her and you to help each other in goodness no matter the circumstances, and that you have nobody but her to turn to when your parents have passed on. please keep this in mind that she might retaliate at first... that is only natural... but be patient through it and revisit the discussion with her after a few days. if this one-on-one approach proves fruitless for a while, your next priority is to politely (not threateningly) inform your sister that you are out of options... (she would hopefully understand what this means) then you submit to informing your parents (because you also owe it to them to do so - regardless of dad's condition) Insha-Allah hope this helps. WasSalaam feel free to PM me if you would like more personal advise on what transpires... |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 01 July 2016 at 6:42pm
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I think Personal messages will not be good for you. this too bad to discuss in a forum where men are also there. this is why long back a member 'Full Of Hopes' created a forum for woman only.
My advise, talk to her and pray for her.and last step inform your parents. Being a girl informing about your location could also be harmfull. hope this helps |