Assalamualaikum Brothers and Sisters,

This post is like a gentle warning about Islam preachings. Myself Noor and by Allah grace i am well educated and working professional.

With the help of this forum I want to raise voice and share darker side of being girl.

I have been treated like a puppet since from the legal age of marriage as declared by government.  I have had been like a victim or I can say this custom made me victim. As I passed 12 class, so like other parents my parents also started searching groom for me and every time I have to get ready to showcase myself in front of boys family members. Each time huge amount was wasted due to all this. If I have a good memory then I still remember that 50 families came to see me and every time same set of procedure was followed. This kills Noor inside me day by day.
Due to all this my parents stopped my studies without giving a thought that I want to study more. That time I always asked Allah: �Is it a crime to be a girl in Muslim family?"

Always I keep on motivating myself, that day will come in your life too Noor, you just have to be patience and have faith. I have firm believe what Allah does is best for us.

Then turning point came in my life after lots of patience.

One day family came to see me for marriage purpose then they asked me "What you have done?" I said graduation and at same point my father said my daughter is very talented as she cleared her CPMT (Medical entrance) in one go but you know I never allowed her to join as this profession is not good for girls in Islam (due to his so called belief I have to sacrifice my dream of being doctor)
Then again boy's father asked me "Why you didn't fight for your rights?"
I said I did but at the end I gave up as no one supported me. Then he asked me
"Why u are not doing job, you are well qualified?" Here I was speechless, still I said my family won't allow me. He simply said "Beta we are looking for working girl and confident too" and in your case if you can't take stand for yourself them how come you will handle family? So from there my journey started as working women. That time also it was not by my choice but most of the family�s requirement was working girl, so I started. Now as I grow my earning also increase and that become an obstacles in marriage. Society never let you be happy.

Then at one point I asked my parents please stop searching groom for me if this is true that �Allah created boy for girl vice versa� and let him do his job.
After so many hurdles I found one guy 3 years back and then I started thinking that might be my life will take change, but here also society dogmatic believes came up between us.
Before proceeding further I want to ask:  Marriage within caste is right as per Islam or wrong?. As per my knowledge or what I heard and read is "There is no caste system in ISLAM" ISLAM is one and it�s the only religion which teaches to be united and be as one.
Then why all these society contractor made this that marrying within caste is good and if you marry girl outside the caste then there will be honor killing... Why? Why? Why?
A ray of hope which I got few years back is also a victim of this believe and due to which we are not able to marry.
We both love each other and want to marry. In this regard he talk to his mother and his mother emotionally black mailed him that if he marry girl outside his caste then he has to leave them and she said his father is patient if something happened to him then he will be solely responsible for any uncertainty. After hearing all this he got scared and said no to me for marriage. We both are suffering just because of this societies thinking that too is not as per ISLAM.
Who is responsible what so ever is happened with us? I am not blaming him that he denied due to family pressure but I respect him. This is just because of his upbringing that made him like this due to which he won't be able to make decision what is right and what is wrong.

Our Muslims accept girl from other religion and they feel proud by saying we are increasing numbers.

My question here is if you all are busy in increasing numbers then who is going to think about Muslim girls? Who will marry with us? Boys keep going increasing number and they feel proud that they bring one non-Muslim into Muslim.
What kind of duality it is?? You won't accept girl from your religion. On other hand you accept girls from other religion. Wow what ISLAM people follow in today's world.
Did anyone gave a thought of it what will happen to Muslim girls??? As we keep on increasing number by marry with other religion girls and time will come when you won't find any Muslim boy for Muslim daughter or sister.

Please give a thought of it???

This story is not only mine there are many Muslims girls who is suffering like this and society doesn't allow them to raise their voice or stand for their true right in Islam. There are many innocent girl who is feeling so helpless. Our so called religious teachers never ever take these woman issue seriously. Only they preach this is good or this bad and put �Fatwah�. I want to know why not on this matter?? Why Boys are allowed to marry Non-Muslim girls and why there is caste system in Muslims?

I won�t find any scholar or preacher who fight for woman rights that is for highest of all Muslims woman. Time is changing and society developed in education and many other areas but some Muslim people still very conservative and dogmatic beliefs like caste in Islam, which in return affect their own Islamic girls. What is this?

I want answer and clear answer not only preaching and this voice is from many Muslims girls they are asking this from many years but still not getting clarity and help to improve their life..
I request you all who read this that seriously think and help each other. You have many woman around like your mother, sister, daughter, wife or any friend. Respect woman emotions and help in their soul journey here on earth for their happiness also not only selfishly think about Muslim Men.
Don't be fake and so selfish brothers and uncles. Just do something for the genuine right of Muslim girls..Shukriya

If I hurt anyone sentiments unknowingly then please forgive me. I will be so grateful to those who give solution and answer �

Allah Hafiz.

Wa alaikum assalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Peace be upon all, Thank you so much for response and I really appreciate that problem which we are facing is not there in other countries. But, in India people are buried under such dogmatic beliefs that marriage within caste is matter of prestige and proud and marry with Non-Muslim is like earning heaven for them.
I am very well aware about that caste system is not there in ISLAM, we are just adopting the culture of Non-Muslims by following caste system, due to which many Muslims(girls/boys) are suffering.

It is a duty of being a Muslim to speak up about injustice and wrongdoing, so I am doing the same.

Apart from discrimination among gender, I have raised issue about Muslim men marrying non-Muslim women and Muslim women finding it therefore hard to find a husband, and one has to agree with me that it is not adequately addressed by any Scholar or by any site. If we really want we as Muslims to shine then first of all we have to look into the roots of problem.

I really want people like you come forward and help Muslim sisters like us who are facing this issue or who all are victim of this cultural trend.

So I request you all who all are reading this post please raise your voice and take steps towards finding some solutions.

This post is merely for finding solutions and if anyone who can help us by any means is most welcome.

Allah Hafiz

Please don't feel sorry for anyone, if you really feel sorry then try to help all those who has been suffering from years....
I strongly oppose that 'caste system' is created by families, it has been congenital from our so called Islamic preachers... just because of their own conformist and dogmatic beliefs they teach people about the caste system. They forgot what is there in Quran...

Caste only divide people and heart.

AH

Dear Joyia,

Thanks for your progressive response to whatever I shared, even though it was just merely story of my own journey about my studies and caste issue. But on the other hand I talked about other girls too whom I met till now and more or less they all have undergone the same situation which I highlighted.

I am very much aware about that I am no one to restrict others and neither I am doing so, as we all are leading our own journey and one is free to do anything which he or she want. I am just raising my voice to the cultural consideration that there is a �CASTE SYSTEM� (those who belief).

You are right we all read but won�t understand, but what about those who have not studied or I can say illiterate�. They just listen to our preachers and learn by heart whatsoever they told them without evaluating what is right and what is wrong as those poor people don�t have that much of knowledge to understand and judge.

AH