Regret over declining job offer
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35485
Printed Date: 22 November 2024 at 1:26am
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Topic: Regret over declining job offer
Posted By: flowers
Subject: Regret over declining job offer
Date Posted: 01 February 2016 at 11:25pm
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Salam everyone. This is my first time posting on a forum online. I usually wouldn't do this but I'm stuck in a rut and would really appreciate some help or advice. To get right into it, I have been suffering from anxiety for years but have kept it under control throughout my life. I constantly worry about something happening to my mum as she works far away and I feel lost when I am unable to call her to see if she is ok. I know this sounds st**id but growing up in a home where my dad was an alcoholic made me worry about my mum a lot and made me protective of her. My dad doesn't drink that much anymore but I don't have a very good relationship with him due to all the sufferings he set upon our family. Last year, I completed my university degree in Education. I decided to not look for full time teaching jobs as I wanted to do some casual teaching first, however last week I stumbled upon a job offer- year 4 teacher at an Islamic college. I decided to apply. They called me within 10 minutes and I had an interview the following week. I was excited, went to the interview and straight away was told that I am successful. Maybe at this point I should mention that while I am a Muslim, I don't wear the hijab nor do I pray 5 times a day (I know I should and I still try to pray as much as I can). They told me I would need to wear the hijab and start in 2 days. I was very excited and didn't have a problem with this at all. I called my parents straight away and they were beyond happy for me. This was my first job. They were giving me a great salary and everything looked perfect. That night when I came home I started to feel very very anxious. I cried all night because the reality of the job started to sink in- I would have to drive to work every day (about 40 mins) and be in control of 30 students. It was a big responsibility. I wouldn't be able to call my mum and everything just overwhelmed me. I went in on the first day which was just a teacher meetings day and told the principal how I was feeling. He was very supportive and told me they would support me as much as they can. Everyone was very nice and telling me that it will be ok but I just kept crying the whole day. I went to see the principal again and he told me to stay till the end of the day and email him my decision tomorrow. By this point I was driving my family crazy. I couldn't think straight and I ate nothing. My whole family came to my house that night telling me how proud they are and what a great school and everything great but I just felt miserable. The next morning, I woke up feeling like death. I couldn't face getting up or going back to the school so my parents told me to email them saying I can't come. So that's what I did. And now I feel absolutely terrible. I feel worse than I did that morning. I have so much regret. This was such a great opportunity and I just let it slip because I was scared. I'm never going to find anything like this again, especially at a nice Muslim school. I feel like I'm in a hole and can't get out. I feel like Allah will punish me because I let it slip. It's like He set this up for me and I just rejected it. I don't really know what to do anymore.
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Replies:
Posted By: Ron Webb
Date Posted: 02 February 2016 at 8:44pm
Hi Flowers,
What a sad story! I'm so sorry that you weren't able to continue with the job. (Are you sure it's gone forever? Would the school be willing to take you back if you promised to get help? Maybe next semester?)
You have an anxiety disorder of some sort. I am obviously not qualified to give you any advice, except that you need to get help from a professional psychiatrist.
Please, please don't let any embarrassment prevent you from getting the help you need. This is a disease, much like any other disease, and quite possibly with a physical cause. Something is apparently out of balance in your brain, making you feel anxious beyond anything that would be healthy.
I wish you had told us what country you are in. There may be free social services or counselling available to you. In fact, your principal can probably put you in contact with someone.
You will note that I made no mention of talking to imams or going to your mosque or anything like that. I am not a Muslim, so again I am not qualified to give you any advice like that either; but if you think it would help, by all means seek help through your faith.
But please, also get the benefit of all the things modern medical science can do for you. A psychiatrist can probably prescribe a tranquilizer or sedative or something that will help you in the short term. You don't want to spend the rest of your life on drugs, of course, but at least that will help you get you get your life together while you and your doctor search for a more long-term solution.
Good luck. Let us know how you're doing.
Ron
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Addeenul �Aql � Religion is intellect.
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 01 July 2016 at 7:06pm
Posted By: Sultana99
Date Posted: 22 July 2016 at 1:07am
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Salaam everyone faces the same anxiety before and in their first few jobs but not to worry you'll find many simple people like you some just smarter than you from whom you can learn and some senior good hearted people who will guide you and teach you how to fly. You have 2 options see the environment if people are friendly and work is easy I mean no speed breakers no logistic problem capable people and subordinates and some one who is controlling students or not and of course a mentor or 2 and option you jump without seeing have your experience heart break hurt humiliation depression quit few jobs then you find the right place to work in with a right mentor . Job is a learned thing not the work , going about the work,managing time,people yourself respecting seniors how to take work from subordinates,a mentor or friends teach you that. Till now you were student and a young person now these are new things you need to learn
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