I am a muslim woman, who has recently started to pray namaz more regularly and turn to Allah for guidance. I feel so much closer to Allah now that I am praying and it is helping me significantly to be optimistic in life.
I recently got divorced and went through my iddat period. I left my exhusband because he was physically and mentally abusive towards me and I just could not put up with it any longer.
I have recently been introduced to a man who is nearly 11 years older than me and we get along really well. I can see a future in it, despite the age gap. It has been arranged through parents and we are only talking over the phone.
Before I got married to my exhusband, I did have previous boyfriends. I realise now that I was completely reckless and feel ashamed of my past actions.
Because my relationship with my exhusband went so badly wrong, I don't trust my own judgement. My parents are not too sure whether this recent proposal will work out and I don't trust myself.
Therefore, I started praying istikhara four nights ago, in hope that Allah would guide me. I want to know if I should marry this man, who I can see myself becoming a better person with. He always encourages me to pray and he always talks about us getting closer to our religion together.
I have not spoken to him for the last four days because I didn't want him to cloud my judgement. Each night, I have prayed just before going to bed and have had a dream. However, each night I have had a dream about an expartner.
I am getting really worried because I don't know what to make of it. I want to be happy and have inner peace and I do strongly feel that I will get it from the recent proposal. Yet I am having silly dreams about people that I no longer speak to or even think of. Is this a sign that I am confused as to whether I should marry this man?
Also, I have read that colours and dreams don't always give you the right guidance. I read that you should go with your gut instinct. Is that what I should do?
I am going to continue praying for the next three nights and hope that I get some kind of guidance. I would really appreciate it if you could give me some advice on what I should do in this situation.
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