Non-muslim man interested in marriage -
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Topic: Non-muslim man interested in marriage -
Posted By: q1w2e3
Subject: Non-muslim man interested in marriage -
Date Posted: 10 May 2016 at 5:29pm
Asalamulaikum,
I am looking to get some insight, advice, and sound guidance about a personal matter. I am a Muslim girl, 26 years of age. I have never dated nor ever had a relationship with any man till date because I believe in doing things the right way according to Islamic guidelines. I always believed that I would be a one man woman and still do. I have also never thought of marrying outside my religion. However, recently I met someone who is Hindu. He is a wonderful person and that has been assessed and attested many times. I never gave him any signals or signs from my end. We only just talked casually and hung out - sometimes one-on-one and other times in a group setting. Seeing my ideals and values, he has become really interested in me and wants to propose marriage. He has openly claimed that he will convert to Islam and totally respects the fact that I love my religion and my family. Time and again, I have made it clear to him that I will never go against my family- come what may and would not put up a fight for him. He says he completely respects that and will never ask me to do anything as such but he just wants to make it work by trying his best, converting, assimilating into my family and exploring spirituality together. He is totally open minded and thinks of every religion as a pathway to ultimate salvation. He is very well educated and well achieved. He is financially extremely stable even though those were/are not the things, which entice me but I guess it is worthy of mention.
I would like to note that I am not in a relationship with him nor have I even reciprocated saying that I like him back because I am not even sure if I do or what feelings I have for him. I just think realistically and what could be a match of prosperity and a healthy life for me in the future. We have also never indulged in zina or anything of that sort. In fact, when he has come to some physical proximity with me, I have flagged it and have told him that it bothers me so distance must be maintained.
Anyhow, now I don't know why I find myself actually contemplating this option. There's definitely something different about this man. I feel so much comfort with him, which I have never in the past. I have huge physical boundaries and am a guarded person, but with him it all seems so easy and natural. He is a genuine person too. I know I could probably make my life so much easier and go with a Muslim man and keep it to that only. But if the man is willing to convert and embrace Islam..what am I supposed to make out of this? I love Allah. I can never upset Him or go against him. All of this makes me wonder whether He's happy with me or upset because if He is upset, He may have sent this man as a trial for me to pass or fail. If He is happy with me, He may have sent this man in my life to lead an individual to the path of Islam, the path of Allah. It is widely believed that converting someone to Islam is one of the biggest blessings a person can have upon themselves.
Please advise as to how I should think about this... I am just feeling upset..I don't know whether this has come as a blessing from my beloved Allah or a trial that I should blatantly say no to.
Thanks so much for reading.
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Replies:
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 11 May 2016 at 7:29am
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The life of this world is but a trial and test. Even with blessings come a test for us to be grateful and thankful to Allah, Most High. When discussing this young man with your father, what advise has he given you?
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Posted By: q1w2e3
Date Posted: 11 May 2016 at 9:54am
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I have not discussed this with my parents as of yet because I want to see what my stance is first. I am not even sure about this myself and am trying to reason things out right now. Any insight? Perhaps, from women in marriages, etc? I have always feared marriage ..
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Posted By: Ringer
Date Posted: 12 May 2016 at 1:38am
If he converted would he not be a Muslim just as much as any other Muslim?
I was under the impression that Muhammad's Sunnah was to accept everyone equally, without regard to their previous religion, their race, their poverty, or whether they were slaves.
You say your life would be easier if you married a "Muslim man" but your friend is offering to become a Muslim.
Something is still worrying you so what problems would remain if he were a Muslim?
As to Allah, would you not be spreading Islam (by 1)?
Are there laws against such a marriage where you live? Or other cultural obstacles beyond simply the religion?
Would your family consider him "less of a Muslim" than those born to the religion?
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Ringer
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Posted By: herbamuslim
Date Posted: 17 June 2016 at 1:50am
assalaamu'alaikum
first establish whether is he becoming muslim for the sake of becoming muslim or whether is he truly interested in Islam. If he is truly and sincerely interested, then he should recite the shahaadat and go public with his faith. This is without any agreement with yourself on marriage or anything of the like. If he loves Allah and Allah's Rasool, then only is he worthy of your love.
In my personal experience, it would take him about 2 to 3 years to affirm his Islamic faith by gaining the basic knowledge of Islam (Aqaaid + Fiqh). If after then he has proved committed then he should approach your father as a Muslim man seeking you in marriage.
Alhamdulillah I have helped a couple under similar circumstances and today after 3 years they have married and are happy together (May Allah increase their happiness and love. Aameen)
Insha-Allah I will PM you some useful information to pass along to the man in question.
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 01 July 2016 at 9:01pm
Dear Sister,
Please be advised that you are not spreading relegion by marrying a non muslim. so first thing you should keep in mind that Halal thing cannot be acheived by Haram ways. I have seen many cases where Men say anything to get married to a girl but after marraige everything vanishes.
Allah says in Quran, A beleiving slave man is better than a non beleiver prince and visa versa.
Beleive me you will never be able to convert this man to Islam and if you still want then ask him practise islam for at 6 months and the real test is when you ask him to get circumsised. if his intentions are clear he will not hesitate. but you cant say this to him upfront so have to ask your mehram to talk to him about this.
Hope this helps
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Posted By: Sultana99
Date Posted: 21 July 2016 at 9:06pm
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It is forbidden for a Muslim girl to marry a non Muslim.so no permission to you from Allah. so you need to wait till he converts . Second no marriage of girl without wali's permission so you need to take your family's permission.Already marriage is a sinking ship, if you give dawah through marriage both will end up a shipwreck. Allah doesn't need your help , you need Allah's help. As you are describing maybe he's got a good character but before marriage every guy looks and acts like one plus any marriage you even have to see compatibility in all aspects for it to be smooth . If he's so interested he could have as well gone to the masjid to learn Islam than from you .And if he's so upright he should have first converted convinced his parents then propose to you . If he has so much understanding of deen or humanity. Even regular boys are so deficient in knowledge That anyone who marrys them suffer due to their smartness tricks of controlling females lies their mothers fatwas that after many years of tears and quarrels you feel what they have ever learnt in life about Islam hadith how to treat females. And wonder when they will learn may be never because they are so busy with friends jobs making money showing off their street smartness and of course the weakness of their faith and their own problems exams job which they can't handle for themselves also due to weakness of iman. So this guy is also likely to have all of these .whether his faith will ever become so strong that his character flaws go away or hell just remain a Muslim for name like most of us remains to be seen . ultimately wife suffers the most from character flaws or laziness of husband.or if you want a smoother life marry someone whose faith is already up and character is already up to at least your level . but only some elder relatives,may be able to assess that for you . the guy supposedly interested in you also has to be assessed in all these aspects or no marriage is guaranteed for happiness or success
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Posted By: akbarsultan
Date Posted: 20 August 2016 at 3:33pm
the way i see it is this
if you are a muslim then marry a muslim for the first time lol
things will go more easily
less complications
less chance of a divorce
my muslim friend married a non muslim and things didn't go too well
he signed up to a marriage bureau shortly after, www.hummarriage.com then got married to a muslim and things were fine
:)
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Posted By: asep48garut60
Date Posted: 02 September 2016 at 11:36am
Assalamu'alaikum,
If we discuss anything relating to the Religion, I do not think it can only be discussed according to the desires of the human heart, while about "Muhammad's Sunnah was to accept everyone equally, without regard to their previous religion, Reviews their race, Reviews their poverty, or Whether they were slaves". It's all about of social life in friends, neighbors, state, and even among nations. But this is something that has a special law in Islam.
Let us together contemplate the Word of Allah in the Qur'an, Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 221. All Muslims are obliged to follow it, this is the Words of Allah, it's not Sunnah or man's words. I personally can say "no" to people, but I can not reject the commandments of Allah.
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