Living with my inlaws
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36206
Printed Date: 22 November 2024 at 12:25am
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Topic: Living with my inlaws
Posted By: Sophia123
Subject: Living with my inlaws
Date Posted: 18 May 2016 at 12:59am
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So basically, I've been married for almost 5 years now. I am pregnant with my 2nd child, my first is 2,5 years old.
I live with my inlaws and have done ever since I got married. The thing is, I don't dislike them and we do usually get on, I just want my own space and my own house. My husband doesn't want to leave his parents as he is the only son and I'm fine with living with his parents but I don't want to live with his sister. He has two sisters, one of them is absolutely lovely, the other one is horrible. I don't like her at all. She makes life difficult for me purposely, she steals my stuff and if I look my room door she breaks into it. We have many times tried to confront her about this but she just denies it. My MIL gets angry at me as if its my fault and claims that my sisterinlaw has said that I am stealing from her and not the other way around. I had a huge argument with my MIL the other day because she was getting angry at me for telling my husband about his sister and her wrongdoings. I know myself that I havent touched any of her things or ever stolen from her but now my MIL is telling my husband that I'm a sly, thieving, deceitful person and I can't be trusted?!?!?!!! My MIL has always taken her daughters side and never really handled the situation properly, which is why almost 5 years later it is still happening. I just dont know what to do anymore, I've tried being nice to her, I've tried being her friend, I make so much effort with her and things still hasn't changed. Now she has decided that she doesn't want a relationship with me and its just really awkward and weird living in the same house as her. My MIL isn't talking to me either because of this issue and also because she got angry at me for not making her husbands dinner and her dinner when I was putting my son to sleep, which I explained to her that isn't fair because either way I am going to put my children before anyone else. My child and my husband are my first responsibility, I didn't marry my MIL or FIL and I have never had an issue with cleaning and cooking for them but if my child needs attention and care then that comes first in my head, am I wrong? My MIL got so angry that she said some pretty horrible things, calling me a bad wife, a horrible mother and that her house has turned to *****after I've moved in and I should just take my son and husband and get out. I didn't respond to this, I simply just got up and walked out of the room as she was fuming. I honestly don't really want to stay in this house atm, especially with being pregnant and just trying to be happy. advice? |
Replies:
Posted By: Sultana99
Date Posted: 28 May 2016 at 10:34am
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Assalamalikum imagine a day when your mil will believe in you yet she will not say anything to her daughter as she still wants to have a relationship with her And imagine you in that time you cannot cut out drive away or avoid seeing your sil face without huge amount of stress and discomfort for yourself and everyone else. So that is your final picture cannot expect more if your sil is like that by nature. So now don't argue with your mil whenever possible just reassure her you are not doing anything like that and try to spend a lot of time doing your daily activities like taking care. Of child eating cooking watching TV with your mil and enjoy pleasant conversation s with her so that she develops adequate confidence in you and it will reduce everyone's stress level
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Posted By: Sultana99
Date Posted: 28 May 2016 at 10:40am
| And housework is like office work you have to sweat or someone will have to sweat but work has to be completed.it does require commitment,effort,and some daily lack of sleep also |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 01 July 2016 at 6:50pm
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Assalam Alaikum Sister,
I thought this happens only in the Indian sub continent but woman are woman every where. hope you learn from this situation and do not continue the legacy when you become a MIL (Funny Short Form) May Allah help you in this situation. |
Posted By: Sultana99
Date Posted: 18 July 2016 at 1:43pm
| Assalamalikum how are you.as you are pregnant you should take good care of yourself and don't take unnecessary stress as pregnancy is always very delicate.leave all your problems to Allah.you are lucky that your mil is saying all this if you were at war with sil it would be very very horrible .I feel straight path is always the easiest hence forgive people in your heart .if you wish something bad should happen to them also still the will get the good fortune Allah has decreed for them as for there punishment for anything bad they do to you or anyone that's none of our business Allah will take care of that . |
Posted By: Sultana99
Date Posted: 21 July 2016 at 12:30pm
| If normal conversations are causing difference in opinions and stress conflicts only talk to take or assign work all mil s say the same things you can't change anyone most have an opinion that all this is your work which is not,no need to correct them ,but don't overstress your self with work specially now that you're expecting .quarrels are nothing but hurt and humiliation to both people and no resolution comes out of it matters remain hanging throughout life till people separate they live in pain and afterwards time may heal their wounds . So don't argue and don't take this bargain of humiliation |
Posted By: Sufi
Date Posted: 25 October 2016 at 5:00am
yes exactly |
Sultana99 wrote: