Living with mother in law
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38828
Printed Date: 18 December 2024 at 12:27am Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Living with mother in law
Posted By: Sparkle17
Subject: Living with mother in law
Date Posted: 15 January 2017 at 2:55am
Hi all, I just wanted advice/opinions on this matter. I have been married for 4 years mashallah (it was a love marriage) and we have a 2 year old child. My husband is a good person and our marriage is lovely mashallah except for one issue - his mum.
We live with my mother in law as my husband is the only son and he has no dad around. So he is the only man of the house. Please don't take this as a typical moan about inlaws etc. My mil is actually very, very controlling and interfering to the point where she will walk into the room and demand to know what me and my husband are talking about. It is basically her house, her rules. I get told how to wash the dishes, how to hoover, how to brush the floor as my way isn't right?!!! As apparently I'm doing it wrong. She has gotten worse since my son was born as she thinks she has some right over him. I find it stressful and hard living with her to the point where I've contemplated leaving my husband (even though he isn't the issue)
Now her comments are worse. "Funny" comments about how my appearance or my hair or clothes or the way I cook but if I tell her she's being cruel, she insists it was a joke and I am taking it too seriously.
She gets involved in the way I raise my son and publicly takes credit for the good stuff he does. (Like she taught him)
At first I ignored her comments but now it's getting worse and becoming more frequent. I used to think it was me blowing things out of proportion but my husband agrees with me and has spoken to her but she argues and doesn't speak to us for days afterwards. She is a single parent as my father in law left the family many years ago (I never met him) and I have a lot of respect for her for raising my husband and sis in laws but she throws that in my husbands face if he ever tells her what she is doing.
My husband won't ever move out and leave her alone but I don't know if I can cope living with her. Does anyone have any advice?
|
Replies:
Posted By: ASALDIN
Date Posted: 28 February 2017 at 6:28pm
In Islam, it is indeed, that the rights of mother to her son are very great, or the obligation of a son to his mother are very great. Rasulullah Peace be upon him, even, depcted this by talking "your mother (3 times) and your father once".
But a household is bulit on the foundation of love, respect, and trust in its each member. Problem, conflict, disagreement, and even dispute, can emerge from a household within its members.
Be patient, always be positive mind, and always smiling in your husband and your mother in law. Your mother in law, very love with your husband, your son, and you. She very protects and always wants to know your problems both. She always feels that she must interfere her son and her daughter in law in order for making your household better.
Finally by change our mindset to become more positive, I think Insya Allah your problem will become lighter than before. Ok brother, keep your spirit, and always praying to Allah to always give you His guidance in every step of your life.
|
|