Honestly I'm not very knowledgable islamically so I can't give you direct advice that could help you in this manner.
however I can pass on some general advice which I will do so.
Ok first of all I just wanna say holy moly I feel for you sister that sounds horrible and just know that I'm a stranger to you but I care for you and I dont want you to suffer so I will listen and try to help.
I would say the most simple advice would be to demand your husband to move out of the house and you guys get your own space again so that you and your kids don't have to go through this on a daily basis.
but I know your going to say thats easier said than done. You could change the heart and minds of your husband and his family but judging the current scenario your going to have to sacrifice more to make that happen. Is this an option you are willing to undertake?
I guess the best advice I would give is have an honest and frank discussion with your husband. dont do it at home because I'm sure the rest of the family will sway him and speak badly about you. Explain to him you love him but you can't continue on like this ... I think this is going to be the most controversial part of my advice but set an ultimatum .. remind him how life was great when you guys were together when you lived alone ... heck be damn sentimental about it and say I want to go back to that and with this ultimatum set if you can in your situation go home and just get away from him and his family and give him some time to make up his mind. If he loves you and wants you he will say yes lets do it. This is however risky advice because his family will probably talk badly about your actions but a husband has to respect his wife. We all deserve a basic level of respect and he has to know this.
I'm personally a person who struggles dealing with confrontation. I dont know if you are too because the advice I have given you requires a bit of a gamble so your going to have to step up your game. If you need help message me on here or go seek some professional islamic marriage guidance tell them the situation and see where you can go from there.
Just a side note I used to be one of these guys who got married and lived with his parents. Drove my wife nuts ... which intern drove me nuts but and she drilled into me for years only then did I decide i need independence and not to rely on my parents... yes I was one of those guys. Its done damage to my relationship which i'll admit I dont think we will ever recover from. I say this to you because I'm the guy on the other side of the coin in your story i let a lot of stuff piss my wife off. I will just say this fix it asap if you want to stay with him and dont take no for an answer because I dont want you becoming bitter and angry about the past. if he does change please show him love show him support because he will need you.
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