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How should a woman rightfully behave?

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Topic: How should a woman rightfully behave?
Posted By: ofsorts
Subject: How should a woman rightfully behave?
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 2:31am

Hi sisters,

I have a question on the social etiquette of a muslim woman, be it at work or others. 

How should a woman,being a muslim, rightfully behave, at work, for instance?Do you suppose that a Muslim woman should not be too friendly enough to socialise at work(with Muslims and non-muslims),be it male or female?Should she not be too reserved when working with her colleagues?

 




Replies:
Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 2:41am
I assume you are a muslim, if yes , you would want an islamic answer? Will post it soon insha allah.



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 2:46am
Question :

My question is about the adab or the manner between a brother and sister?
I need clarifcation, are we allowed to give salam to sister who is not your muhram or talk to her as you talk to a brother, and how much you allowed to talk?
and what about the non-muhram who are cousine, for example the uncles daughter Am I allowed to give salam and talk to her, and how is her life?please provide for me daleel(proof) and what about marriage?
what allowed talk and salam, ( what is allowed and not) all these things!
because today people mixed between culture and deen, when you tell them about that they say you are bringing new religon!, even alot brothers who relgious don't know this, you may see salafy brother talking weetlgy to sister who were nikab and not his muhram,

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

In brief, what the fuqaha� have said about women�s voices is that they are not �awrah in and of themselves, and there is nothing wrong with listening to them when there is a need to do so, so they do not forbid listening to them, but certain conditions apply, as follows:

The woman should speak without elongating the words, making her voice soft, or raising her voice. It is haraam for a man to listen with enjoyment, for fear of fitnah (temptation).

The decisive factor for knowing what is haraam in the matter of women�s speaking is what is included in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

�O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.� [al-Ahzaab 33:32]

What is forbidden is being too soft in speech. It is obligatory for women to speak in an honourable manner, which means, as the mufassireen explained, that they should not make their voices soft when addressing men. In conclusion, what is required of the Muslim woman when she speaks to a non-mahram man is that she should adhere to what is mentioned in this aayah. She should refrain from what is forbidden and should fulfil her duties. She should speak only when necessary, and only about matters that are permissible and honourable, not evil. Between a woman and a non-mahram man there should be no intonation, gestures, chat, joking, flirting or playful talk, so that there will be no room for provocation of desires and doubts. Women are not prevented from talking to non-mahram men when it is necessary to do so, such as dealing directly with them when buying things or conducting any other financial transaction, because in such cases it is necessary for both parties to speak. A woman may also ask a scholar about some legal Islamic matter, or a man may ask a woman such questions, as is proven in various texts of the Qur�aan and Sunnah. Within the guidelines described above, there is nothing wrong with a woman speaking to a non-mahram man. It is also permissible for men to greet women with salaam and vice versa, according to the most correct opinion, but this greeting must be free of anything that may provoke desire in the person in whose heart is a disease, so as to be safe from fitnah and pay attention to the regulations outlined above.

If there is fear of fitnah being provoked by this greeting, then the woman should refrain from either initiating or returning the greeting, because warding off fitnah by neglecting the greeting is warding off mischief, and warding off mischief takes precedence over doing something useful. (See al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar�ah by �Abd al-Kareem Zaydaan, vol 3/276). And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)


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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 2:56am
Islam does not allow intermingling of the sexes. If you have to work with men, then talking with them has to be only when necessary. It has to be... to the point, no laughing, no chatting, no flirting, etc...

Hijab doesnt only mean clothing, also a woman's behaviour, body language and speech is important.

Islam has these rules to protect us. Some people criticize islam for being too restrictive and rigid.....but the truth is, Allah has made these rules, so it has to be good for us, period.

Its ok to be friendly with females, muslim or non-muslim. But with males, you have to keep distance on a personal level.  Allahu Aalam.

another link :
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&QR=1200

Wassalaam...





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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 5:45am

Bismillah,

Subhanna AllahulAtheem!

When asking this question you should consider who you are, what your situation is, what you believe, what you know to be true about yourself.  You have to understand that you could be asking someone who wears only black from head to toe with her face covered, hands gloved, and garment so long that it covers her shoes as she walks.  Or you could be asking someone who wears a bikini with no compunction.  The point I am making to you is that you should just be aware of who you are taking advice from because you should have in mind what your ultimate goal is. 

I have the experience of having worn hijab and jilbab for 15 years, with the previous 21 not of course since I wasn't Muslim.  Now I dress modestly, some would say dowdily (giggle to them!)  I will advise you thusly.  Men will be attracted to you no matter what you wear or how you talk because whatever they are going to like about a woman, they just will like it, and really there's not much to be done.  (Even my friend who does wear full black  as I think of it from head to toe, and used a nasal tone purposefully when speaking to men,  had men approach her romantically while she was living in Jordan!)

If you are smart enough to tell what a flirt is, simply, don't be a flirt.  Get your female co-workers advice about a male coworker that you are unsure of concerning his particular reputation.  Each situation is different, and we need to be aware and respond appropriately.

And if my male coworker makes a polite joke and I am the only one not laughing or at least smiling, that would just be rude!  And you know what, people who think that using a soft voice is wrong are wrong themselves.  Some men have soft voices, what are they supposed to do for goodness sake?  We should watch our manners and mannerisms according to the culture of the environement we are in, and basically just not flirt.  Joking is not flirting.  It completely depends on what you are joking about and how it is done.  Don't laugh.  Ha ha ha!  I laugh at this comment.

Men giving religious advice can be flirting with the tone of their voices and posture of their faces and eyes.  It is not the topic, necessarily, but the tone of the interaction among the people involved.  This subject is really complex, and trying to simplify it by saying: don't make your voice soft, is unrealistic and won't help.  But saying don't flirt, and you have to figure out what flirting is for the situation you're in requires a lot of thought.  And we are supposed to use this beautiful brain our All-Knowing Lord gave us.



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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 8:38am

O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to All�h), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.

And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance�� [al-Ahzaab 33:31-32]




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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:24am
So it means that women should stay in the house ?


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:30am
I quoted Allah's words, now you interpret! What do you think???




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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:30am

Bismillah,

A flirtatiously soft voice is what is meant.

I'd post more, but I need to go out of my house to take my daughter to school and my son to the dentist. (Hee Hee)

Do you need me to pick up some milk for you Sister Amah?



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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:33am
Originally posted by herjihad herjihad wrote:

  And we are supposed to use this beautiful brain our All-Knowing Lord gave us.






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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:35am
Originally posted by herjihad herjihad wrote:

Men will be attracted to you no matter what you wear or how you talk because whatever they are going to like about a woman, they just will like it, and really there's not much to be done.� (Even my friend who does wear full black��as I think of it from head to toe, and used a nasal tone purposefully when speaking to men, �had men approach her romantically while she was living in Jordan


wow, The guy must be really desperate.


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:37am
Originally posted by herjihad herjihad wrote:

I'd post more, but I need to go out of my house to take my daughter to school and my son to the dentist. (Hee Hee)




May Allah bless you and your family with good health, imaan and taqwa and give you all the best in dunya and akhirah..aameen.



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:38am
Originally posted by amah amah wrote:

I quoted Allah's words, now you interpret! What do you think???

if it was like that then everyone will have their own version of quran.
You haveto study quran in university to interpert it.

Thats why people understand quran under the guidance of someone who is qualified.

Also some condition appy, like what if the house is on fire? will she still stay in becasue "non-mehram" firefighter is outside?


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:39am
Originally posted by herjihad herjihad wrote:

Do you need me to pick up some milk for you Sister Amah?



Jazaakallaahukhairan sister, Allah bless your meals.

But i live on the other side of the continent from you!




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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:41am
Originally posted by ak_m_f ak_m_f wrote:

Originally posted by herjihad herjihad wrote:

Men will be attracted to you no matter what you wear or how you talk because whatever they are going to like about a woman, they just will like it, and really there's not much to be done.  (Even my friend who does wear full black  as I think of it from head to toe, and used a nasal tone purposefully when speaking to men,  had men approach her romantically while she was living in Jordan


wow, The guy must be really desperate.






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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:43am
Originally posted by ak_m_f ak_m_f wrote:

So it means that women should stay in the house ?


Then you should ask a scholar! coz I am not.

i can give you info according to my research which you may not agree with....


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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:47am
Originally posted by ak_m_f ak_m_f wrote:



Also some condition appy, like what if the house is on fire? will she still stay in becasue "non-mehram" firefighter is outside?


Allah has allowed His rules to be broken under certain circumstances, for that period.....

and use your common sense sweety, will you stay in a house if its on fire??? will Allah like that???




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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:49am
Originally posted by amah amah wrote:


Originally posted by ak_m_f ak_m_f wrote:


Also some condition appy, like what if the house is on fire? will she still stay in becasue "non-mehram" firefighter is outside?
Allah has allowed His rules to be broken under certain circumstances, for that period.....and use your common sense sweety, will you stay in a house if its on fire??? will Allah like that???


so woman cant work?go outside and enjoy? no shopping?, only saty in house and run if fire breaks out?

I dont get it, are you male or female?


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:51am
Prophet (saw) has given tafseer himself and there is his hadeeth for reference. Also tafseer given by sahabas who were mufassireen, like ibn abbas,  etc . We can also read tafseer by other great scholars like ibn katheer.....

In most matters there are no two ways....and the matters that are doubtful, our Prophet (saw) has asked us to stay away from.

Allahu Aalam.





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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:56am
Originally posted by ak_m_f ak_m_f wrote:

Originally posted by amah amah wrote:


Originally posted by ak_m_f ak_m_f wrote:


Also some condition appy, like what if the house is on fire? will she still stay in becasue "non-mehram" firefighter is outside?
Allah has allowed His rules to be broken under certain circumstances, for that period.....and use your common sense sweety, will you stay in a house if its on fire??? will Allah like that???


so woman cant work?go outside and enjoy? no shopping?, only saty in house and run if fire breaks out?

I dont get it, are you male or female?


are YOU male or female?????????

I am 100% female alhamdulillah!

Did I say that "woman cant work?go outside and enjoy? no shopping?, only saty in house and run if fire breaks out?" did I??

Yes she can go out Insha Allah for the purposes you mentioned. I do not wish to give any fatwas, I have to answer Allah on DOJ (day of judgement). I can onlly quote quran and hadith...and from tafseer.

You amuse me by the way...



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: M E X I
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 5:03pm

Islam requires women to appear as serious, respectable people when they go out. We go out to attend our business, not to attract men and establish unlawful relations with them. The very concept of attractive appearance has been carried too far in some societies, to the extent that some women may spend an hour attending to their make-up before they go out.

Unfortunately this takes place in certain sections of some Muslim societies. This is contrary to how Islam looks at social relations between men and women. A woman is not a cheap entity that places her attractions in front of all people, making her make-up and beauty her claim to respectability and social status.
 
She is a human being who acquires her status by her qualities. Hence, her appearance should reflect such qualities. When she goes out, she dresses modestly, covering her head and body, with the exception of her face and hands.
 
If she wears make-up, it should be of the simple, useful type, not the type that uses sharp colors. If you mean non-Muslim women, then you don't need to cover your hair in front of them, but if the question is about men, then you must cover your hair in front of those who are not your immediate relatives.


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�Make straight your path, while daylight's shining yet�


Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 8:12pm

Bismillah,

I can not for the life of me think of what "simple useful type make up" is!

Nah, I disagree.  I'm in the middle.  Nice and modest and not too noticeable.  High necked clothing, loose clothing, long sleeves are completely suitable for Muslim people to wear.  Now you know what to look for when you're looking for me, your Sister in Islaam out in public.

Oh, and if it's winter I'll be wearing a hat and gloves and coat.  But in the summer, nah.  Maybe a hat in the sun, and dark sunglasses too, of course. 



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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.


Posted By: Mishmish
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 8:38pm

Assalamu Alaikum Sisters:

At the time of the Prophet women were a vital part of the Ummah. Khadijah, the prophet's first wife had a very profitable business, and the Prophet actually worked for her before they married. There are people who will say that was before the revelation of the Quran, but there is nothing that states she gave up her business after becoming Muslim.

Women prayed in the mosque with men, without a separate prayer area, hence the order of the prayer, men in the first rows, women second, children last. The women would speak up and ask questions and correct the leaders of the time if they were wrong. Women followed the men in battle and nursed the wounded.

For some reason, as time progresses these things seem to be forgotten or ignored as women are segregated and told Islamically they cannot do this or that.

If we are never supposed to leave our homes or come in contact with any man other than our husbands, why do we wear hijab?  Why were all Muslims told to seek knowledge and be active members of the Ummah? To do good deeds and help our neighbors? If women are supposed to be sequestered away how are they to do all of this? These things were not ordained for men only.

 



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It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:34pm
Originally posted by Mishmish Mishmish wrote:

For some reason, as time progresses these things seem to be forgotten or ignored as women are segregated and told Islamically they cannot do this or that.




Segregation is part of islam.


Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah�s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu �Alaykum wa Rahmatullah� twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa� Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn �Umar said that Allah�s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi� said: "Ibn �Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: ""The best of the men�s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women�s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.

This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women�s rows, the better, and vice versa.

If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah�s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home:
Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.� Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood


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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 9:42pm
Allah says in the Quran:

"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands fathers, their sons, their husbands sons, their brothers or their brothers sons, or their sisters sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. " 
(  سورة النور  , An-Noor, Chapter http://www.searchtruth.com/chapter_display.php?chapter=24&translator=5 - #24 , Verse http://www.searchtruth.com/chapter_display.php?chapter=24&translator=5#31 - #31 )



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: Mishmish
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 10:27pm

Assalamu Alaikum Sister Amah:

If women were not supposed to go out of the house, then who would they be covering themselves from or stamping their feet in front of? This verse would not be necessary if the Quran ordered women to stay at home segregated from men.



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It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 10:49pm
Originally posted by Mishmish Mishmish wrote:

Assalamu Alaikum Sister Amah:


If women were not supposed to go out of the house, then who would they be covering themselves from or stamping their feet in front of? This verse would not be necessary if the Quran ordered women to stay at home segregated from men.



also If I am not mistaken didnt women in arabia came to prophet to ask for advice & questions?


Posted By: Mishmish
Date Posted: 27 March 2006 at 11:23pm

Assalamu Alaikum:

Narrated Ar-Rubai' bint Mu'awwidh: we used to take part in holy battles with the Prophet(PBUH) by providing the people with water and serving them and bringing the killed and the wounded back to Al-Madina.

Narrated Asma' bint Abu Bakr: ...one day while I was coming with the date stones on my head, I met Allah's Messenger(PBUH) along with some Ansari people. He called me and then (directing his camel to kneel down) said, "Ikh, Ikh! so as to make me ride behind him (on his camel). I felt shy to travel with the men and remembered Az-Zubair and his sense of Ghira, as he was one of those people who had the greatest sense of Ghira. Allah's Messenger noticed that I felt shy, so he proceeded.

The later is only part of the Hadith, because it is rather long, but this Hadith clearly shows that not only did the Prophet not find it wrong to take Abu Bakr's daughter in the company of the Ansari men, he was also going to allow her to ride with him upon the same camel, even though she was the wife of Az-Zubair.

Also, if men and women were meant to be segregated, why was this not made clear in the Quran? Especially concerning such important matters as Hajj, where men and women mix quite freely in very close proximity. The Prophet gave very specific details for performing Hajj, but segregation was never mentioned.

 



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It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 12:30am
My Dear sisters,

did i say that women are not allowed to go out of the house????? did i?



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 12:35am

please read my posts again, i mean the quranic verses as well as the hadeeth. my opinion is invalid in front of allah and his messenger(saw).

i have said before in my post , it is allowed for women to go out of the house, am i being unclear?

going out of the house is one thing and segregation is another. sisters dont confuse yourselves.

Insha Allah i have more hadeeth which i am unable to locate at the moment, will post it soon....

chill!





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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 12:38am
Another thing....., many hadeeth existed before the verses of hijab were revealed....please keep that in mind....

Allah knows best....


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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 1:36am
Question :

I want to go for �Umrah during the month of Ramadaan, but there is this intense mixing with men, and sometimes pressing against one another. Is that permissible?.

Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.

Mixing between men and women is haraam. We have explained that in detail in the answer to question no. http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&QR=1200 - 1200 . 

Secondly: 

The rulings of Islam recognizes the nature of women and how the Shaytaan exploits women�s charms, so the saheeh texts of Islam enjoin women to stay in their houses and not to make a wanton display of themselves, and not to crowd with men. Indeed, the Islamic texts do not enjoin upon women what they enjoin upon men, such as attending Jumu�ah prayers and prayers in congregation. 

Women crowding with men is one of the greatest causes of fitnah, hence Islam closes the door to that temptation and protects acts of worship from everything that could cancel them out. In the case of Eid prayer, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded the women to go out to the prayer, but said that they should be in their own prayer place, far away from the men. With regard to Hajj and �Umrah, Islam also forbids mixing between men and women, so that women will be protected from crowding with men. This is clear from the following: 

1 � The Lawgiver has not enjoined Hajj or �Umrah upon a woman unless she has a mahram with her. 

It was narrated that Ibn �Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �No woman should travel except with a mahram, and no man should enter upon her unless she has a mahram with her.� A man said: �O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go out with the army of such and such and my wife wants to go for Hajj.� He said: �Go for Hajj with her.� Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1763; Muslim, 1341. 

2 � The Lawgiver has granted a concession to a man who has womenfolk with him, allowing him to leave Muzdalifah at night. 

It was narrated from �Abd-Allaah, the freed slave of Asma�, that she stopped at night in Muzdalifah and stood there and prayed for a while, then she said: �O my son, has the moon set?� I said: �No.� She prayed for a while, then she said: �O my son, has the moon set?� I said: �Yes.� She said: �Then move on.� We went on and she stoned the jamarah, then she came back and prayed Fajr in Muzdalifah in her tent. I said to her: �O you! I think we have come to Mina very early in the night.� She said: �O my son, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave permission to the women to do that.� Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1595.  

Imam al-Bukhaari included this hadeeth in a chapter entitled �One who sends the weak members of his family ahead at night, so that they may stand in Muzdalifah and make du�aa�, and move on when the moon sets.� 

3 � It is mustahabb for women to keep far away from the Ka�bah when doing tawaaf, lest they mix with men, even if that keeping away means that they cannot touch the Black Stone. 

It was narrated that �Ata� said: The wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) circumambulated the Ka�bah with the men. It was said to him: �How come they are mixed with the men?� He said: �They did not mix with the men. �Aa�ishah used to do tawaaf far away from the men, not mixing with them.� A woman said: �O Mother of the Believers, let us go and touch the Black Stone!� She said: �Go yourself,� and she refused to go. 

Ibn Jamaa�ah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

One of the worst evil actions that the ignorant common folk do in tawaaf is when men crowd with their wives whose faces are uncovered, and that may happen at night when they are carrying lit candles in their hands � We ask Allaah to inspire the authorities to put an end to this evil. 

Ibn Hajar al-Haytami said, after quoting these words: 

Think about it, and you will realize that it is obligatory to prevent women even from tawaaf if they do things that lead to fitnah. 

Al-Fataawa al-Fiqhiyyah, 1/201, 202 

Thirdly: 

If a woman wants to go for �Umrah, she has to travel with a mahram who can look after her and protect her. She should choose times when the Haram is not crowded. As for times when there is crowding, such as Ramadaan, it is better for her to avoid doing �Umrah at such times, because of the crowding with men that takes place, when she will not be able to avoid them. 

In the answer to question no. http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&QR=36514 - 36514 we have quoted the words of Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), where he says that it is better for a woman nowadays, in view of the intense crowding, not to do Hajj repeatedly, because that is better for her religious commitment. 

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)


hope this helps....Insha Allah.


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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 1:39am
Question :

What is the ruling on sisters making salah in public?.

Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.  

Woman should be protected and concealed from men as much as her guardian can do that. The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) preferred for women to pray in their houses and said that their reward for doing so is greater than their reward for praying in the mosque. 

It was narrated from �Abd-Allaah ibn Mas�ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �A woman�s prayer in her room is better than her prayer in her courtyard, and her prayer in her cabinet is better than her prayer in her room.� (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 570; al-Tirmidhi, 1173. This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa�l-Tarheeb, 1/136). 

�Her room� refers to a woman�s own room in the house, and �her courtyard� refers to the central area (in a traditional Arabic house), off which all the rooms of the house open. 

A cabinet is like a small room inside the large room, in which personal items are stored.  

(Commentary from �Awn al-Ma�bood). 

It was narrated that Umm Humayd the wife of Abu Humayd al-Saa�idi came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, �O Messenger of Allaah, I like to pray with you.� He said, �I know that you like to pray with me, but your prayer in your room is better for you than your prayer in your courtyard and your prayer in your courtyard is better for you than your praying in your house, and your prayer in your house is better for you than your prayer in the mosque of your people, and your prayer in the mosque of your people is better for you than your prayer in my mosque.� So she issued orders that a prayer-place be prepared for her in the furthest and darkest part of her house, and she used to pray there until she met Allaah (i.e., died).� 

(Narrated by Ahmad, 26550). 

This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by Ibn Khuzaymah in his Saheeh, 3/95; Ibn Maajah, 5/595; al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa�l-Tarheeb, 1/135 

It was narrated that �Aa�ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: �If the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had lived to see how women have started to behave, he would have prevented them [from going to the mosque] as the women of the Children of Israel were prevented.� I said, to �Umrah, �Were they prevented?� He said, �Yes.� 

(al-Bukhaari, 831; Muslim, 445) 

�Abd al-�Azeem Abaadi said: 

The reason why their praying in their homes is better is because it is safer from fitnah or temptation. This was later borne out by the way in which women began to make a wanton display of their adornments, hence �Aa�ishah said what she said. (�Awn al-Ma�bood, 2/193). 

Hence women should be careful when praying in public places, or go far away from where men can see them, and should not pray in a public place when the time of prayer comes, unless she has no other place in which to pray.  

Shaykh �Abd-Allaah al-Jibreen said: 

With regard to women, their houses are better for them. If they need to pray in the marketplace and there is a place that is screened off, there is nothing wrong with them praying there, in sha Allah. 

Fataawa al-Mar�ah al-Muslimah, 1/333 

But what some of the common people say, that a woman�s prayer is invalidated just because a man happens to see her, has no basis in sharee�ah at all. The women used to pray at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in one mosque and he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not rule their prayer to be invalid. 

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)


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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 1:55am
    It is permissible for women to go out......(saying it again so that no one misunderstands me again!) but that is out of necessity, and with proper hijab.
  1. Ibn �Umar reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �If the wife of any one of you asks for permission to go to the mosque, do not stop her.� (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 827; Muslim, 442)

  2. Zaynab, the wife of �Abd-Allaah, said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us: �If any one of you (women) comes to the mosque, let her not wear perfume.� (Narrated by Muslim, 443)

  3. Jaabir ibn �Abd-Allaah said: my maternal aunt got divorced and wanted to go and pick some fruit from her trees. A man told her off for going out, so she went to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he said, �Never mind, go and pick the fruit from your trees. Maybe you will be able to give it in charity or do something good with it.� (Narrated by Muslim, 1483)

  4. Allahu Aalam....wassalaam



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: Mishmish
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 10:02am

Assalamu Alaikum Sisters:

So, apparently we are never meant to go out just to smell fresh air and see the sunlight, or take a vacation, window shop or visit a friend, as these might not be necessary pursuits.

Sisters, Allah did not make Islam a burden on any soul, and to be trapped inside a home for the rest of your life, allowed to leave only if it is deemed a necessity would be an undue hardship on almost everyone. That's like condemning half of the world's population to house arrest.

There are just as many Hadith showing that necessity was not the only reason women could go outside: such as when the women wanted to watch the Eid Festivities but were on their menses and the Prophet told them to cover themselves and come watch. When the Prophet lifted Aisha to his shoulders so that she could watch the dancers. The Prophet and Aisha used to run foot races. None of these are necessary, they are recreational pursuits. And with the women who were having their menses, they were going to stay away but the Prophet told them to come. They couldn't even take part in the Eid prayer, but were there only to celebrate.

There is nothing in the Quran or Hadith that specifically forbids women from going outside in general or commands women to stay inside except through necessity. If you can show me an Ayat that commands this, I will apologise.



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It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)


Posted By: Jenni
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 11:29am
mishmish, I agree. Many muslim women around the world do farming out of neccestiy or thier families would starve. Women do not have to just sit at home and this is a completely cultural belief. We can work in public, go to markets, walk in parks, do whatever is appropriate. My women friends and I go to lunch during the day sometimes, go to movies, shopping, walking ect. ect. There is nothing haram about it whatsoever.  I think some people are trying to push this board backwards especially for women. There is no where In The Holy Quran that says women are doomed to stay locked up at home so they never come in contact with men. I mean please sisters, we are not animals. OF course you have to keep yourself safe but you have to interact with men in society. Unless you are a hermit, no thanks not for me!!!

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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.


Posted By: Jenni
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 11:34am
By the way Amnah where are you getting all of this information? You are sure these scholars are correct or these aHadiths are authentic? I have attended many Eid prayers where they had a huge group over 1,ooo and women prayed in the back and men in the front. No seperation at all. Nothing haram happened. Afterwards there were festivities for families, men, women, children all together. Eating together, talking ect. Nothing haram happened, it was all fine and organized by the masjid.

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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 7:51pm
Originally posted by Jenni Jenni wrote:

By the way Amnah where are you getting all of this information? You are sure these scholars are correct or these aHadiths are authentic? I have attended many Eid prayers where they had a huge group over 1,ooo and women prayed in the back and men in the front. No seperation at all. Nothing haram happened. Afterwards there were festivities for families, men, women, children all together. Eating together, talking ect. Nothing haram happened, it was all fine and organized by the masjid.


Dear sister, Do you have access to hadith books? Then you can always cross-check the hadith there. insha allah the websites i visit and the books i read are authentic, what makes you think otherwise? its ok to not accept what scholars say, but what is in the quran , there is no doubt about it, and there are weak hadeeth which some great scholars of the past have scrutinized and disregarded.....the rest of the hadith are authentic insha allah.

haven't you heard of shaikh Al-bani, ibn taymiyyah, uthaymeen etc? they were great scholars, today there are no "scholars". please read books by people who have translated arabic texts. whose books do you read for reference?

There is nothing wrong in women going out to eid parties, provided there is decent arrangement like you said happened in your city. women should observe proper hijab and conduct according to quran and sunnah and segregation is a must too....i will post more hadeeth insha allah....

whatever i say is a result of thorough research, not my opinion, i always pray to allah to guide me to right knowledge and give me understanding of the deen which will make me stand  on DOJ (day of judgement) without regret........wassalaam



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 7:54pm
Originally posted by amah amah wrote:

[QUOTE=Jenni] I have attended many Eid prayers where they had a huge group over 1,ooo and women prayed in the back and men in the front. No seperation at all.


during the prophets(saw) time there was no separate place for women to pray but there was "separation"...women always pray behind men, isnt that separation of sorts? do men and women stand together in a row? kindly read the hadith i have given before, regarding salah of women in masjid. what the prophet (saw) allowed us to do, we do insha allah.




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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 7:56pm
Al-Bukhaari (324) and Muslim (890) narrated that Umm �Atiyyah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to bring them (women) out on (Eid) al-Fitr and (Eid) al-Adha, and to bring out adolescent girls, menstruating women and virgins, but the menstruating women were to stay away from the prayer, but were to witness goodness and the gathering of the Muslims. I said: �O Messenger of Allaah, what if one of us does not have a jilbaab?� He said: �Let her sister lend her a jilbab.�

Women are told to attend eid prayers by our prophet(saw). period!




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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: Jenni
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 7:59pm
I am saying at the function after the prayer there is no segregation, families are all together eating at big tables. I sit with my friends and thier husbands and kids and we all talk together. I know it is not haram. When I see my friends husband I say AsalaamAlaikum and ask them how they are doing, my friends do the same to my husband. Iknow if they ever had an emergency and thier wife needed help or was sick they could call me and talk if needed. We are living in a society, we need to be social as human beings it is in our nature. And if no one is doing anything wrong we can talk together. Haven't you ever been to a resturant? It isn't segregated unless your in Saudi. What about shopping, do you go to a ladies only market? Or do you lock yourself up at home. What is wrong with going to dinner with your freinds and thier wives and all sitting together, what haram thing can happen? I went to many places and peoples houses while in Pakistan and we were rarely segregated by gender. My husbands friends allways greeted me warmly as my friends too. Nothing is wrong there. That may be your research, but there are many opposing views. Many people live and feel the way we do.. Peace

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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 8:01pm
Originally posted by Jenni Jenni wrote:

There is no where In The Holy Quran that says women are doomed to stay locked up at home so they never come in contact with men.


No, we are not animals. We are precious for Allah and Allah has given us  honour that no human or culture would. Again, who said women cannot go out and should be locked up in the house? going to market, workplace, shopping, beach, friends' house etc are all insha allah necessaryand  permissible. we should see, where there is no fitnah and we are safe and within the limits of islam.



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 8:20pm
Originally posted by Jenni Jenni wrote:

I am saying at the function after the prayer there is no segregation, families are all together eating at big tables. I sit with my friends and thier husbands and kids and we all talk together. I know it is not haram. When I see my friends husband I say AsalaamAlaikum and ask them how they are doing, my friends do the same to my husband. Iknow if they ever had an emergency and thier wife needed help or was sick they could call me and talk if needed. We are living in a society, we need to be social as human beings it is in our nature. And if no one is doing anything wrong we can talk together. Haven't you ever been to a resturant? It isn't segregated unless your in Saudi. What about shopping, do you go to a ladies only market? Or do you lock yourself up at home. What is wrong with going to dinner with your freinds and thier wives and all sitting together, what haram thing can happen? I went to many places and peoples houses while in Pakistan and we were rarely segregated by gender. My husbands friends allways greeted me warmly as my friends too. Nothing is wrong there. That may be your research, but there are many opposing views. Many people live and feel the way we do.. Peace


Nothing is wrong Insha Allah in greeting males and talking to them about things like "how are you, etc". Or going to a market where the salesman is a male. Just because there is no segregation in pakistan or elsewhere, does not make it permissible. majority arent always right sister...

Nothing haram can happen in public ....but read this: (posted already)
Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah�s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home:
Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.� Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood

Please can you explain what haram can happen if women walk in the middle of the road?????

It was narrated from Ibn �Umar that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �Do not prevent your women from coming to the mosques, although their houses are better for them.�
please would you interpret this hadith?






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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: Jenni
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 8:23pm
Thier houses are better for them to pray, that is all that means.

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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 8:27pm
Originally posted by Jenni Jenni wrote:

I went to many places and peoples houses while in Pakistan and we were rarely segregated by gender.


again that is cultural! where i come from , there is no segragation in my "culture".


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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 8:30pm
Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.�


what about this hadith jenni????


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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: Jenni
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 8:39pm
I understand this to mean that out in the streets with strange men it is better to not walk in the middle of the road or the middle of the crowd but to avoid it and keep to the side. And this makes logical sence. If I am in a crowd of people and men I will try to stay on the outside of it. Peace

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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 8:50pm
My dear sisters, I am a woman , I feel what you feel. Even if I err, I want to err on the side of caution, all I am trying to do is follow the quran and sunnah. Read adn pray to Allah to give us Hidayah.

Here is a collection of some relevant ayahs and hadith, ....please ponder over them...please cross check elsewhere if you have any doubts.


Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), �I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.� Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5096; Muslim, 2740.


Ruling on men looking at women:
It is haraam because Allaah has commanded the believers to lower their gaze. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

�Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)�

[al-Noor 24:30] 

This was also enjoined by His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It was narrated that Jareer said: I asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about a sudden accidental glance. He said, �Avert your gaze.� Narrated by Abu Dawood, al-Nikaah, 1836; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, no. 1880.

Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)said, �O �Ali, do not follow one glance with another, for you are allowed the first but not the second.� (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, al-Adab, 2701; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, no. 2229).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �Beware of sitting in the street.� They said, �We have no alternative; that is where we sit and talk.�  He said, �If you insist on sitting there, then give the street its rights.� They said, �What are the rights of the street?� He said, �Lowering the gaze and refraining from causing offence�� (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2333; Muslim, 2121).

same applies for women...."And tell the believing women to lower their gaze....." (An-Noor, Chapter http://www.searchtruth.com/chapter_display.php?chapter=24&translator=5 - #24 , Verse http://www.searchtruth.com/chapter_display.php?chapter=24&translator=5#31 - #31)

===================================================

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

�And let those who oppose the Messenger�s (Muhammad�s) commandment (i.e. his Sunnah legal ways, orders, acts of worship, statements) (among the sects) beware, lest some Fitnah (disbelief, trials, afflictions, earthquakes, killing, overpowered by a tyrant) should befall them or a painful torment be inflicted on them�

[al-Noor 34:63]

====================================================

�It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a plain error�

[al-Ahzaab 33:36]

==================================================

�Allaah burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned�

[al-Baqarah 2:286]

========================================================

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �Whoever seeks to be chaste, Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks to be independent of means, Allaah will make him independent of means, and whoever strives to be patient, Allaah will make him patient�� (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1400)

Salaam alaykum!



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 9:03pm
Originally posted by Jenni Jenni wrote:

I understand this to mean that out in the streets with strange men it is better to not walk in the middle of the road or the middle of the crowd but to avoid it and keep to the side. And this makes logical sence. If I am in a crowd of people and men I will try to stay on the outside of it. Peace


Exactly! we have to keep "outside". sister, Isnt that segregation then? women stand behind men in salah coz so that men dont see them, woman walk on the sides of the road so that they are "away" from men. mixing is not allowed my dear. that does not mean there is never any interaction. there is. only thing, we have to follow the guidelines...do you get me dear?

anywayz.......please do some research yourself, crosscheck if you please, i am not being impractical, i talk to men when necessary, to the grocerer, salesman, etc.... even to my husbands friends and relatives how much ever i feel is necessary and sufficient.....

I know all of you are insha allah  eager to follow deen correctly....  

Love you all for the sake of allah.

Allah knows best, I know only what Allah has taught me, without His guidance I am lost.........wassalaam....



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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: Mishmish
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 9:14pm

Assalamu Alaikum Sisters:

There is a huge difference between not "mixing" and not being able to leave your home except under necessity. Just as there is a difference between being sequestered and being separated.

 

 



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It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)


Posted By: Jenni
Date Posted: 28 March 2006 at 9:17pm
It really is strange to me that muslims will take one small hadith and try to apply it to everything in life. This hadith about not walking in the middle of the road is talking about one specific thing, you can't apply that to everything, not in my opinion.

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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.


Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 29 March 2006 at 12:52am
Subhanallah!!

one small hadith?? so it is unimportant? I am really surprised with you! and what about the other hadiths? what about lowering your gaze? thats from the quran as well. also Prophet(saw) asked men to lower their gaze if they happen to look at a woman!

if it is not allowed for women to mix with men on the road, it is allowed for them to mix at the dining table?

why did prophet (saw) make a separate door for women in the masjid?
anywayz! i have no more to say..........hopefully insha allah i pray we realise the truth in dunya or face it on DOJ....

Jazakallahukhairan!
assalaamu alaikum warehmatullahi wabarakatuh!






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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)


Posted By: Jenni
Date Posted: 29 March 2006 at 7:33am
Lowering your gaze is very specific, this is talking about walking on the street and no I don't think it applies to the dining table. When I dine with friends and family in mixed company I feel no wrong is being commited and I know many many Muslims feel the same way.!!! You can not take any Ahadith and apply it to anything you want just to make a point. That is what I am saying.

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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.


Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 29 March 2006 at 10:09am

seems to me that, in my humble and small opinion that the Hadiths and Quran are quite vast. That so much his covered. People often take Hadiths out of context by not reciting the specific example. How many times has people explained to non-Moslems the circumstances surrounding a Hadith? The details and specifics are there to guide us. Like people seperate for prayers.. and yet at Hajj people are all there together. Different guidelines for different circumstances.

Like say for instance there is a business lunch for work then women cannot go? How does this work?

For example.. you should stay out of the way of crowds.. yes. THEN should you go out when there are fewer people.. like the night? Makes no sense. Just try to mind your own business and not act in a provocating way.

 You are heading out in rush hour down the street.. lots of people.. what to do?  You travel by bus and there are men on it, should I walk miles to work? If it crownded there is no way to avoid being in touching distance of men. Or I could a half an hour in the frozen cold for a less crowded bus?

Seems the goal is to work to maintain your modesty no matter the circumstances and to limit what you can and are in control of. And pray to Allah for forgiveness.

Peace  



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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: Mishmish
Date Posted: 29 March 2006 at 11:10am

Assalamu Alaikum Sister Sisters:

It is impossible for women to stay locked up for their entire lives and it is impossible for women to avoid all contact with men. That is why we wear hijab in public, to preserve our modesty, and why we are commanded to lower our gaze. If we were never to be around non-mahrem men, why would we have been commanded to lower our gaze?

As in the Hadith I listed earlier where the Prophet(PBUH) offered Abu Bakr's daughter a ride upon his camel, she was walking two miles alone with date stones on her head. If this were not allowed, why would the Prophet not have told her it was forbidden? Instead we have these Hadith:

1) Sayyiduna Abu Sa�id al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: �Let no woman travel for more than three days unless her husband or a Mahram is with her�. (Sahih Muslim).

2) Sayyiduna Abd Allah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: �A woman must not travel for three days except with a Mahram�. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 1036 & Sahih Muslim).

3) Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: �It is unlawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the last day that she travels the distance of one day and one night without a Mahram accompanying her�. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 1038).

Clearly there are Hadith that show women were outside the home, alone, and the Prophet(PBUH) did not say this was haraam or forbidden.

 

 



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It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)


Posted By: Jenni
Date Posted: 29 March 2006 at 3:53pm
Thank you ladies for your added words. Can we try to focus on how we can be the best in our own situation? Whether we are working women or at home with kids. How we live will be different if we are in Europe, the U.s. or say in India or Saudi Arabia. Being a Muslim at heart is they same, saying your prayers, fasting and being charitable. But You HAVE TO ADAPT to whatever society you live in!!! It may be fesible in Saudi to go to womens only stores and malls. And have a driver so you don't have to ride the bus or walk on the street with men. But hey ladies, most of us aren't there. If I move there I'll put on a Niqab(even though I'm against it) and adapt to the life there the best I can. That is all we can do, and I have to adapt here. I am raising my kids alone with a husband who works ALOT and travels. I take the car to the auto shop, deal with the mechanics, I have to see male doctors sometimes, I have to talk to the delivery people when they come to the door, ect. ect. ect. That is life, I have to do it, so please don't give me useless information!! If you want to tell me to be more kind, charitable, a better neighbor, a more understanding wife, a  more patient mother ect. Then that might be advice I need and give me all the hadiths and Quran you can to back it up, as far as I am concerned personality and morality wise is where most Muslims are lacking. Not in knowledge of Ahadiths.

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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.



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