Just need to let this out...
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42108
Printed Date: 24 November 2024 at 9:48am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Just need to let this out...
Posted By: Zayna1990
Subject: Just need to let this out...
Date Posted: 23 January 2018 at 9:59pm
Salam,
Recently I haven�t been so good mentally, and it all stems from my household. Just to give a little bit of insight of me and my life; I am 25 years old, finished my Master�s Degree, and Alhamdulillah I have an amazing job. I live at home with my single mother and two little sisters. My mother and I have our ups and Downs, but recently just Downs. I feel like she expects so much from me and whatever I do it�s just not enough. I worked so hard in my life to please my mom, but I feel like I am a failure. Even though my mom is an amazing person, I don�t enjoy being emotionally/psychologically abused by her. She tells me how I am a bad person and this is why no one likes me and how I am going to stay alone forever. Saying no man will ever love or marry me because no one can put up with me. There are also times I tell her to watch her health issues and then she comments that �she prays to Allah that He punishes me with diseases like her.� Honestly, I don�t blame her for being abusive. With her growing up she suffered from a lot when she was a child with her parents. But hearing all these things hurt so bad...I can�t help but cry. I can�t even show my emotions in front of her because I�m �overacting� or acting like a �crazy� person. I just need some advice or words to help me...I�m breaking right now
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Replies:
Posted By: raharja
Date Posted: 27 January 2018 at 1:48am
I may not know how you feel or what you are going through now, but your mum will always be your mum.
The thing is, some may be in denial, may feel that despite giving you so little, you have proven her wrong by being a successful person. It's more of a defensive mechanism of being very distasteful to you.
How old is your mum anyway? I mean, when a person gets old, he or she may not be in the right state of mind to be saying things. Like what you say earlier, maybe her early childhood of being brought up by abusive parents may led her to whom she is. It's all in the mind and unless she gets help to be more calmer; it just can't be cured.
I say, just love her as she is, despite her being abusive to you. Just continue to remind her that you love her and that no matter what you will take care until the day she goes. Somehow sooner or later, she will realise?
Anyway good luck, it's been a couple of days, hope you are feeling better now. Take care.
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