Family Matter - Secret Marriage Maybe?

Secret Marriage Maybe?

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42687
Printed Date: 21 November 2024 at 1:03pm
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Topic: Secret Marriage Maybe?

Posted By: Asia
Subject: Secret Marriage Maybe?
Date Posted: 19 May 2018 at 8:34pm

Thank you for your responses. They are all much appreciated!

Replies:

Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 24 May 2018 at 1:27pm

Wa alaikum salam,

My recommendation is that you register the marriage with the court or the city marriage bureau as soon as possible. That would be easy. Announce your marriage to the community. What is important is that marriage is recognized by the state and the people know about it.

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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah

Posted By: Tim the plumber
Date Posted: 25 May 2018 at 2:33am

Hi,

1, I am sorry that your life has been so hard. I am sorry that your foster family has not been what they should have been.

2, The ideal family seen in books and on the TV is very often a fairy tale and lots of other people have very painful experiences of family life. Not that makes your pain any less. Just that lots of us are damaged.

3, In the West today marrage is done quite late by historical standards. Your choice now is as valid as it will be when you are 30. So, if you love this man and he loves you and you both want to make this life time committment I say go for it and enjoy.

4, You are both just getting out into the wider world. You are both going to be changed by your experience of this wide world. You will both be changes by university life. Your marrage will be tested and strained by this. The sensable thing to do is to wait untill after university to see if you are both in the same mind by then.

5, So why is the sensable thing to do always the best???? Live your life. Good luck!

Posted By: Muslimah82
Date Posted: 30 May 2018 at 11:48pm

Assalam walaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu. I am pretty sure you need an imam or qazi to marry you. Otherwise, if you are not married Islamically, then your marriage is not valid and he is not your husband. If you sleep with him, that's zina (fornication/adultery). Please read books about Islam and learn more online. I have never heard of two people marrying themselves except for in movies and perhaps children's playacting. Go to your nearest masjid and get married for real. The imam can be your wali/guardian as you don't have one. I have heard about marriage by phone or the internet. You could try that if there is no masjid near you. It might not have been your intention, but please don't make a mockery of Islamic marriage, nikkah.

Posted By: Sister P
Date Posted: 04 October 2018 at 7:01am

Dear brothers and sisters

asalaam alaikum

We recently discovered on the death of my husband that he had a secret wife and child (note I do not wish him jannat)

How long we were married is irrelevant. We had grown children. I loved him dearly.

Neither the community, nor his family, nor I , knew about this development.

I wish I could say we grieve for him. Perhaps the community and his family.

But truth be told, my children and I are relieved he is gone. We would much rather live a life with honesty and integrity. It may seem harsh but there is no use in sugar coating words. Allah sbt knows what is in my heart. The pain he has caused me is immense and crippling. The sacrifice to live without a husband such as this is small in comparison to the grief he has gifted us with.

I want to say three types of people will disapprove of this statement.

second wives, people with second wives and people who have never experienced the devastation this causes.

Brothers who are contemplating this be warned. His sons have never been to his grave and have sworn never to pray for him. His daughters refuse to say his name.

And I can no longer pray. He has severed my ties with my Lord as I faint from grief in every prayer.

These tears will surely bear heavy on his grave

Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 04 October 2018 at 12:17pm

Wa alaikum salam,

He deceived you, betrayed your trust and tried to deceive Allah as well.

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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah

Posted By: ZAHRA1234
Date Posted: 03 December 2018 at 1:47am

jazak Allah for nice sharing